Everyone keeps telling me to 'get out there' but I just want to be left alone to get my head round this. It has to stop some time?
2007-05-29 07:46:12 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we are going through this with my mom right now, my dad died 17 days ago. She thinks she should be over it by now, because people are telling her its been long enough (they were together for 32 years!!). But I keep telling her to take her time, cry her tears, dont rush through it. If you dont want to go drinking then dont, if anyone gives you a hard time about this tell them to go to h&ll. You are entitled to grieve for your loss, in your own time, in your own way. That really upsets me that people are so insensitive to think that one person should just "get over" a loss like this. I am so so sorry for your loss. Just take your time and take baby steps, when you are ready YOU will be the one letting others know, it doesnt work the other way around.
2007-05-29 08:02:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your loss! Everyone grieves in different ways. If it is helping you by staying at home then I would do what makes you comfortable and don't listen to anyone else. It will be some time before you will want to be around anyone else. To tell you the truth I believe that going out and drinking now would probably make things a little harder for you later. All the drinking will do is numb the pain for now and start the grieving all over again. My advice to you is to grieve the way thet you feel comfortable things will get a little better within time. I know this isn't the same, but when i went though a miscarriage i had such a hard time, i was grieving and i didn't want to talk to anyone or do anything, i wouldn't get out bed. People grieve differently. If you need anyone to talk to you can always e-mail me get_inked_pierced@yahoo.com
2007-05-29 14:48:59 · answer #2 · answered by mom_in_love 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly very sorry for you loss you must take whatever time you need to grieve and at this moment in time you are not ready to face people no matter had good their intentions are to try and bring you out of yourself. You are still very raw and need time to adjust dont be forced into anything you dont want to do. It will get easier I promise it just takes time but right now that doesnt seem possible and I understand your feelings loosing a loved one is the hardest thing. x
2007-05-29 14:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by Magster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Panic not sweetie,my husband died February last year and i still don't want to face the world...I meet with family and do what must be done but i prefer to be left alone most of the time...It will get easier,we deal with things in different ways and whatever anyone says to you,won't make a scrap of difference...I can say in all honesty "I know what you're going through" xx
2007-05-29 14:57:28 · answer #4 · answered by trish b 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should take every step at a time and at YOUR pace.10 weeks is no time at all and I am sure your friends only want the best for you but they should also respect your views.I hope you dont closet yourself away and find that life can still be rewarding and enjoyable but if you feel that the time is not right then you should not go until you feel ready to face it all.I am sure your husband wouldn`t want you to grieve forever and as the years roll by you will only remember with happiness in your heart.
Going out obviously isn`t the answer for you,you could talk to others and pose questions here as I am sure you will only get support and understanding
2007-05-29 14:56:46 · answer #5 · answered by McCanns are guilty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone takes their own time to come to terms with the loss of a spouse. My mother took years before she could socialise. If your friends really care about you they will stop putting pressure on you. You need support and care. Take little steps until you feel like joining in a full social life.
2007-05-29 14:53:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that. I think you will know when you are ready to go out. Don't let anyone pressurise you, i know they mean well, they are just trying to get you out to get your mind off things. Time is a great healer and as time goes by, things get a little easier as time goes by. No one can ever take away the memories you hold and thats the most important thing.
2007-05-29 14:53:57 · answer #7 · answered by julie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont allow others to tell you how to feel. you should allow yourself to feel the way you need to and work through your grief in a way that is best for you.
i dont get the drinking thing...that isnt going to make you feel better. if you need time, take time. grieving is not on a time schedule.
if more time passes and you feel uneasy about the amount of time its taking you to heal, say, after a reasonable amount of time (i dont think 10 weeks is) then by all means, talk to a professional who may be able to to help you get through it.
good luck!
2007-05-29 14:52:28 · answer #8 · answered by chantel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will. But it takes time. And friends, no matter how well-intentioned - can really slow the process down.
Consider going to counseling for grief so you can get a good handle on the whole situation. I mean, forgive me but your world has just been turned upside down. It's time to grieve.
But consider counseling to help you through this.
2007-05-29 14:54:35 · answer #9 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You'll be ready when you are ready. If you rush back into the social realm you might short change your grieving process. Take your time.
2007-05-29 16:11:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋