2007-05-29 07:33:32 · 14 answers · asked by jenn03 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
when i got a divorce i kept my son. even during the seperation before the divorce was final. you and your husband should decide which parent will get the children. than you will sit up a visitation time for the other parent to have the children. my son would go over to his fathers and also my house during the holidays that would be like christmas and thanksgiving. on the other holidays we would switch off. it seemed to work out great for us. good luck to ya
2007-05-29 07:38:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
most divorces are settled outside of court, with mediation instead. my kids and i were almost in a very bad situation because during our pre-divorce situation we split the kids 50/50. THEN come divorce time we had already set a precedent so there was no reason for me to ask for the kids full time- even though i knew he was not fit. BUT, he fought me bacuse having the kids 50/50 meant he didnt have to pay child support. but i knew what woudl happen. the court would say no shild support, and then i would still end up with the kids full time. I fought it though, in the best interest of my kids, and they now live with me instead of their borderline deadbeat dad. So, i suggest (if it is possible for safe effective communication between the two of you) to sit down with your husband and decide what sort of schedule would work for you both. Decide where kids would sleep at either parents house, how they would get to school, etc. What ended up happening for us is, HE picks up the kids on Weds. and then brings them home to me that same night, so he can see them during the week, and he gets them to stay the night every other weekend. any other time they are with me. We divided holidays as well, some of them we alternate from year to year, etc. You just have to find what works for you. but be aware, what you decide now MAY become permanent. choose wisely.
2007-05-29 14:42:20 · answer #2 · answered by RealRedhead 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the court doesn't do that...it's pretty much decided before it even gets to court - it is whoever takes them....and unless the other parent doesn't petition for the return of the kids to their care citing a very good reason why the other parent shouldn't becaring for them...that's temporary custody - that generally ends up permanent.
If you are considering divorce, do not, I repeat DO NOT, pit the kids against the other parent. DO NOT ask the kidxs who they would rather live with...theirmental & physical health comes first.
Generally, whoever stays in the house where the kids have lived, should have custody so thier lives aren't overturned.
2007-05-29 14:41:23 · answer #3 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually the soon-to-be divorced couple would share joint custody of the kids until the court decides. It depends on the situation. If it will be an amicable divorce process and both parents are fit to care for the children, then joint custody could work. You just should try to do what is best for the children.
2007-05-29 14:43:46 · answer #4 · answered by electrablu1972 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the mother is mentally stable, is not harming the kids, and is not doing drugs or drinking excessively then 9 times out of 10 she will get custody of the children both before and after the divorce.
2007-05-29 14:41:53 · answer #5 · answered by World Peace Now 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
USUALLY the kids stay with the mother until it is settled in court. If the father objects the children are eith placed with a relative both parents agree upon or are placed into foster care.
2007-05-29 14:37:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who do the children want to stay with is a big concern. Most of the time they stay with the mother because its seen as proper even in todays society that the mother take care of the children. Also whoever leaves the other might not get the children because they are the ones who suposedly ruined it. Then again if that person where to take the children with them it would be seen as they where leaving for thee children. But you might wanna ask your lawyer just in case!
2007-05-29 14:39:13 · answer #7 · answered by ~~*Skadi*~~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at that point it is usually the mom until she proves to be unfit. but moms almost always get the kids. there are some dads that do want the kids though and in that case until the court decides, it should alternate. the parents will have to be adult about it. if the kids are old enough ask them who they prefer to stay with....
2007-05-29 14:41:08 · answer #8 · answered by knk724 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how it works it most states, but in Indiana when I filed for my divorce, I was able to file for full temporary custody of my child. (Which is the entire reason I filed, since I wasn't the one who wanted a divorce.) My soon-to-be ex-husband is allowed to see our child one day every weekend, which isn't much, but is all that his work schedule will allow. When the divorce is final, we've agreed to continue with the same schedule.
2007-05-29 15:26:07 · answer #9 · answered by Trisha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's one of those things best left to a judge. It will be one of the FIRST things settled.
2007-05-29 14:40:00 · answer #10 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋