my husband and i have an excellent relationship but since i had our first baby 2 months ago he has completely lost interest in me sexually and somewhat elsewhere, like he never talks to me about his day anymore. he doesnt even look at me the same way, it seems like he's looking at me in disgust now. im seriously at the end of my rope. we are able to have sex but he doesnt want to, we've been able for 3 weeks now and we've only had sex 2 times. i even tried using a lubricant and nada! what do i do...? any answers can be sent to my Yahoo messenger clown_luv05 or my Hotmail midnightangel05@hotmail.com
2007-05-29 06:56:47 · 21 answers · asked by nikki 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be patient. It is hard and frustrating I know, but that is all you can do until he is ready. Sometimes it is hard for the man after child birth. Have you asked him how he is feeling or talked to him about any of your concerns? Is he feeling overwhelmed, afraid of hurting you, worried about another pregnancy too soon? Men do funny things when they are concerned about things.
I had 3 children with my husband, and after the first one things slowed down for us. He was worried about how I felt, about hurting me, about me resting enough, spending time with the baby, and many other things. eventually we talked and we worked it out. After my next pregnancy he couldn't wait. after the third he was even better.
Women have worries before, during and after pregnancy, Men usually don't show any signs of it until after. So talk to him, be patient.
2007-06-03 18:49:14 · answer #1 · answered by bkdrm41897 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some time if he was in the delivery room with you then what he saw was a traumatic thing. I am a female and when I saw my friend give birth I did not want to have sex for a while. It is a hard and wonderful time for you all right now. Just try to relax and the sexuality will come back. In the meantime give him some extra attention you know like back rubs (that doesn't lead to sex) ask about his day. Try to be supportive of his feelings if this persists please go and see a marriage counselor they can help you out a lot.
2007-05-29 07:02:15 · answer #2 · answered by Grace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, it took me a whole year to finally want to have sex w/ my husband after our son was born. And even now, we don't have sex very often. Maybe once a month, even if that. But that's just how I like it..LOL..
You might want to try to open up the communication lines with your husband. Maybe when your baby's asleep, you can set the mood by setting up a good dinner for him, giving him a massage and talking about the good ol times, then when he's in the right mood, you might want to say something like " I wish we could do more of that or I wish we could have more of those times" ...something to that effect and see what his reaction is..
Don't sound defensive if he says something you don't like or don't sound judgemental or like your putting blame on him.. it will only turn into an argument..
Or it could be that something is just bothering him period that has only a little to do with you..
Have you asked him at all?
2007-06-04 20:06:29 · answer #3 · answered by califasflipbabe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a married man of 29 years I think your getting some great advice here. I know its tough but give him some time things have just changed and in a big way for him, now he is a dad and he sees you as a mom . Give hime some time and do something kind of wild to make him think about you as the sexy women he feel in love with not just as the mother of his kids.when the time is right plan a night out for just the 2 of you , wear a very very short skirt and low cut top ,you might feel sluty dressed like that but that is hwat he needs to see than in the parking lot give him some head the risk of getting caught with you dressed all sexy going down in him and he will have trouble keeping his hands off you for a very long time. Just becarefull or another baby may be following that night out lol.
2007-06-04 17:00:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to ask him why he's the way he is. It seems like he may be having an affair and he's just not attracted to you or maybe he's just stressed out about having to take care of you and the baby. My hubby wasnt denying me sex but a baby can put a damper on your sex life. We used to make love every day now its more like 1 time a week if we get the chance. Just be patient and talk to him. He needs to know how you are feeling.
2007-06-05 12:25:13 · answer #5 · answered by sweetlady82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your going through is normal. Having a baby is just as much of adjustment for men as it is for women. Sometimes men see their wives or g/f more like a mom rather than a woman after they have a baby. Just give it a little time. Having a new baby is very hectic. I'm sure once you get into a routine with the baby he will start to act more like himself. You may want to seek some counseling so you don't fall into post par tum depression.
2007-06-02 22:45:01 · answer #6 · answered by Angela C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off you don't know if thinks your disgusting unless you ask don't assume things until you know whats going on it will eat you up inside and make you insecure about yourself think about what you two had in the beginning what mad you two animals in bed towards each other do little things to surprise him it could be dinner changing your appearance whatever the case maybe change your scenery go to a nice hotel or something jacuzzi inside and have it set up real nice then have him meet you there or just call him on the phone at work and tell him somethings in his ear to get his heart pumping bring back the spice sex is nice but sex mentally and physically is awesome
2007-06-05 08:29:41 · answer #7 · answered by suederay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's something all men go through after their wife has had their first child...YOU, have suddenly turned from his beautiful, sexy, compassionate wife into a MOTHER, AHHHHHH!
Give him time to get over his shock, he'll soon realize you are still you. He will have to get used to the idea that he's not the only one in your life now and that there's another love in your life, and hopefully his as well...
He just got slapped in the face with a little reality... Be patient, let him know that he's still your big bobo.... --Good Luck!
2007-06-05 08:48:55 · answer #8 · answered by Domino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the both of you need a date night out, asap. it seems that he may just look at you as a mother now, not a wife and lover. you both need to remember it was just the two of you before the new baby, when the baby is grown up it will still be the two of you. it really sounds like he needs to grow up and be a husband now and a father too. you better hurry up and get it fixed before he finds a new lover..ever think about marriage counseling ???
2007-06-06 04:13:05 · answer #9 · answered by superladyh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be a few reason it happen to me .He has a lot on his mind,he maybe sleepie,may be you are not in shape no more,Its mostly that hes not #1 nomore,the baby is thats i felt when i had my daughter for a while until i got used to it,Best thing to do is to make him feel special and dont leave him out
2007-05-29 08:06:17 · answer #10 · answered by bobswiming 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋