She seems to be a nice person, I just want better for my son. she has two kids by two diffrent dads and has never been married. One child is 11 and the other is 4. And she is my age. Not only that she is my age.
2007-05-29 06:24:41 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I hate to say it, but your son is now old enough to make decisions for himself. I think it's perfectly acceptable to discuss with him your concerns for the relationship he's involved in, and how you may have some reservations by it. I certainly wouldn't try to change his decision on the topic. Just let him know you're not comfortable with it and offer your reasons why. We all want what's best for our own children, but at some point we all need to understand that while they might still be our children, they do become adults - and as such, become responsible for their own actions.
2007-05-29 06:48:22 · answer #1 · answered by loving father 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have a talk with the girlfriend. One of my friends mother's did that and that female realized that she was holding this guy back and because she cared for him, she let him go.. Not saying that this female with two kids with different dads is going to do the same...but have an honest conversation with her about his dreams and what he deserves and that it isn't because you don't like her as a person or that she has two kids but that you want him to have a chance to do things as a young adult. That getting into an instant family is not what is in the best interest of your 24 year old son....People say he's an adult..and by age--yes he may be..but the difference between me at 24 and now at 30....is completely different..He thinks he knows all and that he is in love...His view of her and the situation will change over time...
2007-05-29 06:39:08 · answer #2 · answered by TT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch...well, I definitely see where your coming from. Your son seems to be willing to take a "big" leap of faith on this woman! What I would suggest doing is going at it in a none threatening way....what ever you do, don't make him chose between her or you, because you'll lose. And I know that may be hard to believe, but when your young and stupid, you'll fight for your love with great passion! Sit him down alone and express your concerns...is he willing to become an instant dad with an instant family? Are the children ready and willing to accept your son into their life, or do they see him as just another guy? Is he ready for that kind of responsibility? Can he trust his soon to be wife, or will she just get pregnant and leave for the next good looking guy that flirts with her? Is your son done sowing his wild oats? You know your son, you know your son's capabilities...so you should know if he's over his head. Why don't you send your son off on a trip with the boys where you know other attractive females will be...say for a week...then you'll know if your son is ready to be dad and husband to this woman. Good luck!
2007-05-29 06:39:28 · answer #3 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
except he's being uncovered to too plenty grownup television and/or language, it somewhat is an somewhat weird and wonderful tale for a three twelve months old to think of and make up. have faith your instincts. in case you're hectic, do not pushed aside it. you additionally can desire to envision him over for any redness or unusual marks. i could confer with the police too and have your son confer with a expert newborn counselor. additionally examine to work out if the dad is listed on the registered intercourse criminal checklist for Megan's regulation. If it seems to be not something, a minimum of you will experience greater useful understanding which you have been basically performing like a worrying and responsble determine. in the journey that your son became into regrettably uncovered to an criminal, then you definately can avert different little ones from extra exposure which includes the dad's own little ones.
2016-10-30 02:37:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't! He is a bug boy and can make his own choices. Just stay out of it. If he asks for your opinion then give it, otherwise just trust that you taught him correctly and that he will make the right decision for HIS life. If he does not, then that is his mistake to make. You have to let him be an adult. The time to teach him correct principles has passed.
You are the same age as this woman? You were 12 when you had him?
2007-05-29 06:43:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do. He's an adult and if he is financially independant then he can pretty much do as he pleases...
I understand your point of view, and I wouldn't like my son to be in his position, either.
Perhaps you could go to counseling or therapy so a professional can help you deal with your concerns and give you tips on how to approach your son. There are a lot of issues you can talk about; so sort them out.
You do have the right to speak your mind, as his mother. But be smart and think what you'll say to him, and be careful with your tone of voice. The last thing you want is your son to shut down to your advice or to do the exact opposite of what you want.
Good luck!
2007-05-29 06:31:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sit down and talk with your son telling him the advantages and disadvantages of dating a woman who is 12 years older than him with 2 kids. Knowing at the end of the day he's an adult and has the right to make his own decisions, but at the end of the day he knows that you're his mother and you're only looking out for his best interests.
2007-05-29 06:29:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You had your son at 12?
He is a grown adult let him make his own decisions. She doesnt sound like they type of woman I would want around any one I care about either, but you said that she eems like a nice person. Maybe she just had some growing up to do. But if worse comes to worse at least he has learned something.
2007-05-29 06:31:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't because it's his life, not yours. You may not like who he picks or what he does, but it's okay. That is what letting them live their own lives is all about. If you want to keep a relationship with your son keep your mouth shut and be respectful and loving toward both of them. Once you start complaining you are only going to drive them closer and him far away from you.
2007-05-29 07:08:37 · answer #9 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just from these details, it seems age and children are why you think she isn't good enough.
Why is that? She may help to mature him and maybe the kids need him.
You can discuss your concerns with him but it isn't your choice.
I'm 53 and my fiance is 36. We are great for each other. His family sees that too. Mine had a problem at first, but now see that our life works.
Don't risk pushing him away with trying to choose for him!
2007-05-29 07:02:09 · answer #10 · answered by justme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋