When your family has had a tragedy why do people ask HOW DID IT HAPPEN?...?

Question

That question in itself is HURTFUL to the family...WHY WOULD THEY WANT TO RE-LIVE IT???..don't people "see "...what they are doing??? or are they sooo blind??...I have found out you have to be assertive...and say...""I'd rather NOT relive it".....and just KEEP REPEATING YOUR SELF...if they have the nerve to ask other questions??? and quess what they do!!!...PEOPLE ARE SOMETHING ELSE. especially the ones that have never had a tragedy!!!some how they 'THINK" they are helping??!! but they are not!!!

Answer 1

Some people are curious.

Some people ask because they have had tragedy in their life and they are trying to find common ground.

Some people ask because they don't know what else to say.

It's easy enough to say "I'd rather not talk about it."

Answer 2

You're being a bit selfish. Remember that although, as the family, you are suffering the loss most strongly, others are hurting, too.

Say your tragedy is that your father has passed away. Imagine you came home, and your mother said, "Sorry to tell you, hon, but your Dad is dead." Wouldn't you ask what the heck had happened? Wouldn't you think it was unfair if your Mom said, "Sorry, I'd rather not talk about it."?

People need info in order to mourn. People who didn't know your family well before the "tragedy" are just being nosy--be mad at them all you want. But everyone else who asks, well, they're just trying to paint a mental picture of the sad event, so that they can begin to deal with it.

Answer 3

My dad passed away with alzhemiers seven years back. It was hard to deal with.

Answer 4

I find it best to say, "I'm not ready to talk about it."

Answer 5

theyre curious...isnt talking helpful? it would be for me...sorry