Questions for single mothers.?

Question

I have often thought that it would be nice to date and possibly marry a woman who already had kids. I am not ready to date at the moment as I am too broke to take care of someone, but I will want to date again someday. Single Mothers: Is it OK for a guy to want to have "instant family" as well as you? Are there drawbacks? Any other advice that I need?

Answer 1

My hub loves me and the son I already had. My son loves his step dad. I guess it depends on the man, I see it as a good thing, especially if the dad is a dic*

Answer 2

It is absolutely okay however there are drawbacks. First. You must know that you can never take the place of the kids father. I would advise you against saying anything negative about him (no matter what a jerk he is) in front of the kids. It is a very hard job to undertake but if you are really dedicated to their mother it can be done. Also, don't worry so much about making enough money to "take care of anyone". Single mothers are caretakers and used to putting their families before themselves. We do not expect to be taken care of however it is a very nice gesture. An honest loyal relationship is all we need. A sense of humor helps too.

Answer 3

Good question...it is OK to want an instant family.. there are many drawbacks.. the kids could make you miserable because you are not their father, if you want kids of your own you have to make sure the woman would want that too, it takes a real man to want to do that with somebody..Good Luck and I hope you find that lucky lady..

Answer 4

My husband came into an instant family and proved to be a very good dad.

Beware though that kids are more work than most people think and when you jump into this situation, not only are your and the woman's feelings at stake, but so is an added person. And you'll probably have to deal with the "real" dad. Do you want to live your life with her ex in the shadows?

Answer 5

I'm a man who married a single mother with two daughters. At first the adjustment for all of us wasn't too easy, specially with the youngest (she was 9 at the time). But with time everything became OK and we are a good family. I love both my daughters and my grandchildren are a blessing from God I cannot ever thank enough. If you meet a good woman, her being single, divorced etc. with children or not is secondary. If you feel love in your heart for her, don't let her go. Your love for her will extend to her children in a natural way.

Answer 6

hmmmmm... i don't think there is anything wrong wanting an instant family at all i don't know of any drawbacks my only advice is remember that if your going to be in the "family" little hearts get broken way easier than bigger ones and their hurt could last a long time and don't assume you have discipline rights ...best of luck

Answer 7

my daughter is 17...the only drawback is when i like the guy and she doesn't. i care too much about my child to have her unhappy and will break up w/ a guy because of it. i would think that would be the only thing you would need to watch for.

and yes, it is great when a guy wants an instant fam and will step up to the plate.

Answer 8

ARE YOU KIDDING???

All of my friends who are single mothers find that their children are sometimes the "deal breaker" with otherwise great guys....
Believe me, with that attitude, you'll have no trouble..

My mother was a widow with 3 small children, and she married a man who wanted a large family and considered us a great start.....
My stepfather (who has always been "my dad") saved our family, and will always be the most wonderful man in the world to me. My sisters and I worship the ground he walks on.

Answer 9

Often depends on how old the kid(s) are. Older kids may not be easily accepting of a new person in their parent's life. Don't try to be a better "dad" than theirs is, unless, of course, the real dad is a jerk or is not in the picture at all.