My husband and I are falling apart? What should I do?

Question

My husband moved our family back to his country, I had to go because I do not have any family (father or mother) now I see my husband acting very strange such as not communicating with me, paying me no mind, not calling me, doesn't take me anywhere( I guess don't want to be seen with me), doesn't return phone calls, complaining when he comes from work, I'm always at fault when things happen, very jealous ways...etc. Our these signs of abuse or a divorce is coming? Help me please! I have no where to go...or scared to leave the relationship afraid of being alone...I need advice....

Answer 1

First you need to pick up the telephone or go online and look for counselors in your state.

Second he is isolating you and sounds like he may or is abusive at least emotionally and psychologically. Please call your domestic violent hotline for information, support, and referral.

Third no matter what you think may be happening the most important thing is to stay in the present. Where you are now. Not the future. He wants you wondering about him to keep you off balance. Now you must think of yourself. Start taking care of yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Surround yourself with good people if you can...if you can't join an online group.

The point is...do not let him control you anymore.

Answer 2

Firstly, I am really sorry to hear that you are in such a situation. I would suggest that your husband is obviously having some problems that he is not discussing with you but rather action out. The fact that he is jealous could either be a positive or a negative. Firstly, the positive, it could mean he still care now the negative, it could mean he is controlling and want to have fun and still keep his wife at home. I would suggest spicing thing up in your life. There is a saying that if you want the things around you to change first start with yourself. So introspect a bit see if there were things you could do better, does he like a special meal a band or a movie. Try and do more things that he likes. If he doesn’t respond to any of those suggestions then sit him down and tell him that you have been trying to make him happy, trying to make things work. ask him if your marriage is worth saving of if its better to let it go b/c you see that things aren’t the way they used to be. *this might be tough* try pointing out the things that he is doing that is hurting you i.e. not returning your phone calls
The key is to let him see his behaviour without feeling like he is being lectured/scolded. for example instead of saying you never return my phone calls say " I called you last night did you receive my call" that way you are letting him know that you noticed that he didn't return the call....if this has been going on for a while say I notice you don't return my calls as frequently is there a reason.'' if all else fails try and remind him of the good times before the complications if that doest work then maybe you should try counselling, if counselling doesn’t work then maybe it better to find someone that will make you happy. Because life just isn’t worth the time if you aren't happy. You’re worth it.

Best of Luck!!!

Answer 3

In the country that you moved to, what are the typical roles of husband/wife? I would try to talk to him and if that doesn't work, I would try lining things up for myself to get away. - start calling old friends, see about getting a job (financial independence) Its better to be alone than to be emotionally abused. He may be going thru some tough times too and he might not know how hard it is for you in a new place- communicate with him first and then make some decisions - good luck

Answer 4

First what country did you have to move to?
If its some where in the middle east then I suggest you watch the Lifetime movie "Not without my daughter" It sounds like he could be having an afair or he might just be adjusting to his culture! You need to look at the woman around you and see if your being treated like they are this might be the normal behavior for the man in that country! Second dont' sit around and be his target get busy make friends find an outlet make a plan to stay with your husband but also make a plan in case you need to get the hell on!!!

Answer 5

You have to ask yourself, "Is this all worth the pain?" Are you willing to take this abuse (yes, it is abuse) from this man? I understand you're scared to leave and start off again, but it could be greener on the other side, if you know what I mean. Try going to counseling, if that doesn't work, then I think you know what you need to do.

Good luck

Answer 6

You need to gain your self esteem back and realize you can make it on your own. You really appear to have a low self esteem. You can't get happiness from someone else comes from within. as far as is this abuse well it's not being respectful of your feelings and your needs and divorce, only you can answer that.. Have you tried telling him how you feel?
If you have done everything you can think of to do and it doesn't change then can you deal with that kind of treatment?
~Angel~

Answer 7

You don't say where his country is, but I would have you search out women's groups that deal with divorce in that country. Get some advice from women there who have already gone through this. Perhaps also you might want to look into marriage counseling.

Answer 8

Firstly, you should not have married a foreigner unless you
are from a 3rd world nation and you married a 1st world
westerner...Secondly, sounds like you need to start saving
money for a divorce...

Answer 9

You and your children are in his country. Does your native country have an embassy? Check with them for what your rights might be. Take a family vacation home and don't go back.

Answer 10

You need to consolidate yourself. The advice may vary according to which society you belong. So take a counselling session if you can, with a marriage counseller.