Help what should I do???

Question

Hi I just found out saturday that I was pregnant and now I am really worried because at first my fiance had no problem w/ trying to conceive now he has been acting funny and starting to feel we should do an abortion I have no Idea why he changed his mind all of a sudden and I dont want him to feel trapped I want to keep my baby but I cant come home to him and he is upset and not happy I am torn I dont know what to do I am afraid to say that I want to keep my baby because I told him that I was going to go through w/ the abortion and now he is happy but I am not but I dont want to see him down it seems like I want to keep the baby and I am happy and he wants to kill the baby and he is happy. What do you think I should do I dont want him to be miserable and I dont want to regret any bad decisions

Answer 1

First of all, if it was decided that you would get pregnant and he was all for it why in the world would he think he could change his mind? Does he understand that this is a human life and that you don't just change your mind at the drop of a hat. If I were you I would tell him you are keeping the baby and if he does not like it then forget him. He obviously does not know what he wants and he should not be playing with your head or your body like that. Good Luck!!! And Congratulations!!!!

Answer 2

Liscity,

I'm just going to come right out and say this. Of course he previously didn't care about conception. He told you that so that he could get all the free, unprotected sex he wanted, and it worked. Plus, he knew he wouldn't have to carry the burden if you got pregnant. He could just pull the very power play he's making now. And if you give in and have the abortion, I promise you, he will go right back to not caring about conception so that he can get what he wants from you.

I could be wrong, but based on the situation you described and the current state of our very self centered society, this is what I see. That being the case, this is not a guy you want to spend the rest of your life with. If he is incapable of thinking of his family before himself, if he is unwilling to take responsibility for his actions, he will not make you the husband you deserve. Trust me, there are better men out there.

Take care of yourself and your new family. Be the mother your baby deserves. Show the baby the selflessness and responsibility that her father won't. I'm sorry you are in this situation, but you can do this. It won't be easy, but trust me, when you see that little face for the first time, it will be worth it.

An abortion, while an option, is a permanent decision that ends a life. And it is a decision you will have to live with for the rest of your life. Which do you want: a selfish guy, who won't take responsibility for his actions; or a new life who hasn't done anything wrong except inconvenience her father by her very existence.

You force "Dad" to make the choice. It's not right of him to put this on you. You take control and tell him he can stay or go. Force him to make a decision. If he chooses to go, you know he wouldn't have made a good father in the first place.

Answer 3

I am sorry you are in this situation. I was in similar situation but yet! I was married and I didn't want to have the abortion my husband wanted. I went to the appointment, the doctor couldn't do it (or didn't want to do it and I was glad), for many years I felt so guilty that I was going to have the abortion but now my son is so closed to me and he is the only that takes care of me when I am sick. My best advice is for you to talk to your boyfriend, tell him your fears and heard his! because he might be afraid of bringing a baby to the world. Talk to him when both of you are calm and away from home. You two took the decision to try to have a baby and both of you have to make the future decision. At the end it will be more your decision than his. Good luck and wish you the best.

Answer 4

No man is worth the life of your unborn child. I understand what he is going through it´s a big shock and most men believe that their whole lives change and has to stop living but that is not true.
He might just need a little time to get used to the idea, he might come around !!! But if you choose your fiance over the life of your unborn child you are a very sad person.....

A child is a gift, a miracle there are millions of woman that can not have children!!!! Rather take adoption into consideration !!!!!

Answer 5

i think you should be mature and if you think you are ready to keep the baby go ahead and dont worry about your fiance a person whos willing to kill somebody inside of you must not love you..but just keep in mind if you decide to have an abortion you never know if god if going to give the opportunity to have another one.

Answer 6

Maybe give him a bit more time?
From the sounds of it you were both trying... and now that you are he's freaking out a bit? I think that's pretty normal, but I would hold off any major decisions for a bit... not too long obviously, but talk to the guy, ask him what's up and why his mind suddenly changed.

Answer 7

Umm hunny, it's time to sack up. You want this baby you tell him straight up that you are having it and he can either support this child and stay or he can support this child and leave. Obviously something is going on with him and it's unfair to you to be in that situation. You are going to be a mother soon and you have got to grow up to the point where you speak your mind. You can't keep him around by doing every thing he wants, that's NOT how a relationship is supposed to work.

Answer 8

let the baby live, you would regret haveing an abortion. if you would rather keep your boyfirend then the baby, give it up for adoption. there are so many parents that desperatly want children. you coud find him/her a loving home. he'll get over it if you tell him your not having an abortion, if he doesn't, thats not really thie kind of person you want to be with anyway.

Answer 9

don't do it. You will only regret your decision, and it will not help your relationship. He was an active participant in the conception of this baby,, he can't decide after the fact that it was a "bad idea". Have the baby with or without him and get child support.

Answer 10

If you don't want an abortion, don't get it. Don't do something you will regret for the rest of your life. If you really don't want to keep the baby, you can put it up for adoption.