I just got married 3.5 months but was unaware i was pregnant at the time(i had some light bleeding i thought it was my cyst acting up).My hubby and i dated 2 yrs he is 25 yrs old and i am 21 yrs old still in college.He was the perfect guy smart, mature,nice,took care of me and had a good job.Before the wedding took place we took a 4 month break because he was not sure if he was ready for marriage.During the break i had a fling with an ex.bf who had been my first everything and a history (flings/dating)that goes back to senior year of highschool. Month later hubby and i got married.I found out 2 months into our marriage that i was 4 months pregnant with my ex.bfs child.I came clean to my hubby he said he forgave me but 2 weeks later i came home to an almost baren apartment and he had left his cell so i could not reach him?Then his lawyer called ...I really want to speak to my hubby but cant seem to contct him?My best friends says i should just cut my losses and move on?
2007-05-29 04:43:24 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry to say this, but I think your friends are right.
That's a serious blow to him, pregnant with another man's child. If you two did stay together there's the possibility of resenting that child while it's growing up, and that isn't fair to him or the child. There's also the fact that you keep fooling around with this ex when things aren't going well. He took a break to think on this marriage thing, and you fooled around with the ex again.
2007-05-29 04:49:17 · answer #1 · answered by Armless Joe, Bipedal Foe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgive AND forget, seems to have left the country today. I do agree with you friends, but I also see that you are probably going to need some closure in the matter. I have never had your problem so I am not quiet sure what the best thing is to do, however, I think that you deserve someone who can be a father to your unborn child. This man obviously can't because he will never see the child as his. I think he should have talked to you before he did what he did, but the past can't be changed. My advice to you is... move back home or move to a new place and try to focus on the good in your life aka, your unborn and see where that gets you. You will have a bumpy road ahead, but in the end I believe everything will work out.
2007-05-29 04:52:47 · answer #2 · answered by RahRah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is some blunt truth: Life is all about choices. We can choose our choices but not always our consequences. Not meant to be? You made your choices and now must face the consequences. Would you talk to you if the shoe was on the other foot? Are you really surprised with the results of your choices? Move on? You have obviously destroyed your relationship of trust with your once husband and if it is repaired will be entirely up to you and him. It will not be an easy or quick fix. Now you must decide what you REALLY want for your life and that of your child. Learn from the past, live in the present, and prepare for your future - Best Wishes!
2007-05-29 05:03:05 · answer #3 · answered by icudoto 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man has rethought about what you did and realizes he doesn't trust nor wish to support another man's child. That is the worse thing any man has to deal with- and of course he forgave you when you told him. He didn't want to look like he was uncaring especially in your condition but after he thought about, talked to a few buddies, and family- he has decided to go.
So, I would simply move on. Get a lawyer and get some counseling. If he decides to come around I would talk with him only in a public place.
Good luck
2007-05-29 04:51:12 · answer #4 · answered by kaiynasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm, that's a hard one. Pretty sure, he is done with ya, and if that is the case, you are just going to wear yourself out trying to get him to care. I say, forget about it, you are pregnant and need to worry about that right now. It will not be healthy for you and the baby if you are constantly worrying about something that is probably not worth worrrying about!
Also, it sounds like you 2 should not have been trying to get married if he wanted 4 month break and you were laid up with the ex... Just a thought!
2007-05-29 04:55:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That appears to be your only option at this point. You cant force someone into something especially if that someone doesnt want the same thing you want no matter how bad you want it to happen. It sounds like in this case he didnt totally forgive you for what you did and wants out, so it probably is time to cut your losses and move on. Sorry
2007-05-29 04:51:18 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's done. He doesn't want to deal with you. Contact him through his lawyer.
I don't fault you for the sex, you were on a break. I'd be shocked if HE hadn't played around. That was probably half the reason for wanting a break.
What does annoy me is that there are at least half a dozen methods of the top of my head to KEEP from getting pregnant. You didn't use them, why?
2007-05-29 04:50:47 · answer #7 · answered by Atavacron 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.
Hang in there, girl.
I don't think it's going to work out...all signs point to no. First the break before the wedding, which, trust, he was sleeping around too. You went back to an ex, thereby sabotaging yourself as well.
Neither of you really wanted this marriage!
So why hang on?
2007-05-29 04:50:02 · answer #8 · answered by pola 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man feels betrayed. You took advantage of his suggestion for a 4 month break to go have your fling. I believe you should move on
2007-05-29 04:47:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who gets married after a 4 month break? If you need a break, your heart isn't in it. And if you were fooling around on your break, your heart wasn't in the marriage either. You rushed into marriage.
He won't talk to you, he feels you betrayed him, I can't blame him either, because you did.
cut your losses, and move on with your life, learn from this.
2007-05-29 04:50:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋