My wife says she loves someone else but still loves me. She can't be with this other person for another 10 years as he is a prisoner she is a guard but says she is going there when he gets out. We have been married for 26 years and still get along great. So do i stick with her for the time being hoping she changes her mind or do i leave now and look for someone else.
2007-05-29 04:03:02 · 23 answers · asked by stan155 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am sorry, but being a woman...I can say that...it isn't possible to love two men. Not the way you should love someone you are spending your life with. So if it were me...then guess 26 years together would be all we had. Cuz, I'll be danged if I am going to sit around and hope someone changes their mind about wanting to be with someone else. That means at this point you are second choice...she would rather be with him, but she can't be...so rather than be alone she is going to stay with you until he gets out. I don't think so...she would be all alone in my book....let someone else be her shmuck...not you. You deserve better. You deserve someone who will love you and only you. Good luck
2007-05-29 04:09:11 · answer #1 · answered by jewel3977 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love your wife right? maybe she is longing for something that she doesn't see in you. Talk to her to settle the issue. But set your mind of whats gonna happen. acceptance is very important whatever the situation might turn out. All marrieges tends to overcome some trials some dont. Just try your best to win her back if you really love her.10 years is really long enough. If she still choose the other guy, then it's just not meant to be.. that will be the time to move on. It would definitly be painfull, just pray that you'll make it through. goodluck!
2007-05-29 04:15:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you should stay...her telling you this is a big red flag that something is missing in your relationship. You have ten years to fix it, if you have the desire to do so....
The only thing I think you need to find out now is if her and this prisoner have had any kind of sexual relations.
I would find the best marriage counselor you can, somebody that has an excellent record of marriages still together.
All relationships have rough patches and this is going to be a hard one.....perhaps by telling you, she is testing you to see how much she means to you and how much effort you will put into trying to keep her.....
2007-05-29 04:17:04 · answer #3 · answered by She Said 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know why your wife is seeking love outside of the 26 years of great get along marriage? I am always facinated by this love for men who are incarcerated. 10 years of waiting is inconceivalbe to me for a man who has commited an obviously serious offense(s). Does your wife know that she could lose her position for unethical? It appears obvious that she isn't aware of the bullshit these guys offer to, hopefully, unsuspecting women and other men. They are PRISONERS who have little else to do to amuse themselves. I hope she wakes up, and I hope you do too.
2007-05-29 04:51:14 · answer #4 · answered by lesS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the marriage now. If this girl is saying that she will leave you in 10 years, what are you still doing with her. i no you love her but she mustn't love you that much. If you stay until she changes her mind, deep down inside you will always know she was going to do it. Get out now. =] Good luck!
2007-05-29 04:08:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't she going to be in a position where she is going to be able to see this man for these next 10 years since she is a guard?
Its one thing if you can trust her to never see this man again... and you both also go to counseling.
Do you feel it is fair to you that she will get to keep seeing him and getting more and more emotionally deeper with the relationship with this man over the next ten years and gets to decide everything?
2007-05-29 05:29:10 · answer #6 · answered by Twizzle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you should stick around. You deserve better than that, you've put in 26 years with this woman. Get rid of her and let her do whatever, find someone who will love only you. Good luck.
2007-05-29 04:12:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife wants to be with a convict? Sounds like someone has a little case of the crazies. Maybe she should see a therapist to talk some sense into her.
2007-05-29 04:06:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I admire your commitment to your wife and wanting to stay. Most people jump ship too soon. On the other hand, ten years for you to wait is time wasted for you. If this is truly what she wants, please let her go even though it will be difficult for you. It is time you consider your own needs and wants. Good Luck.
2007-05-29 05:37:30 · answer #9 · answered by Angelina N 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based solely on the information you have given us, I agree with Melimel. You need to extricate yourself from this emotionally abusive situation, and find somebody who will appreciate you and treat you with the respect and love you deserve.
2007-05-29 04:20:48 · answer #10 · answered by Doc B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋