How do you know when your marriage needs counseling?

Answer 1

When you feel you have to ask this question.

Answer 2

When You feel that a third party would be helpful because to two of you can no longer handle simple communication.
All couples argue, but most eventually find a point of compromise.
Even if it means that they mutually respect the others right to their own opinion.
Sometimes individual counseling and joint counseling is also helpful, because it allows each person to first look at their own issues and then see where the breakdown in communication is happening in the "relationship".

Obviously when abuse or violence is happening it's probably best to have a separation, at least until counseling has been established and even then it will be a long road back to living together again.

When Both people are willing to go into the counseling, with the understanding that it isn't about a "blame game", but a sincere attempt at finding a more healthy way to relate then real progress can be made.

Good luck, it sounds like your considering a good thing :)
Remember marriage is a lifelong process and an evolving relationship not an "event".

Answer 3

If you are asking, you probably DO need marriage counseling and I am not trying to be mean when I say that, really. You don't necessarily have to have a rocky marriage to have a 3rd party listening to your complaints or problems. I think it's actually healthy for any married couple to have some kind of counseling. My husband and I have a good marriage and do talk to counselor to keep it that way. You should never wait until the word "divorce" becomes part of a discussion before going to marriage counseling. Our counselor is a really wise woman that can listen and offer helpful suggestions. My husband was counseled by her long before he met me and we have just continued seeking her advice since. Friends and family can be a good source too, but don't always give the best advice because they will often have some bias.

Answer 4

I guess you never really know but then it seems you do. I know that sounds ambiguous but what I mean is that things may not be going great or you may feel a change in him or in yourself but you shrug it off blaming the stress from your job, the issues with the kids or the problems with money but then when it hits rock bottom you're there and going "I saw this coming, things weren't right for a while"

My best advice - what I would do - is schedule three counseling sessions, one for you, him, then together; this is so that the professional has the time to see you both apart as well as together. He/She may be better able to help both of you verbalize what may be bothering you or identify what could potentially become a major issue if not addressed in an appropriate time.

After you guys may realize that it wasn't really necessary but there's an old Barbadian saying "Make sure is better than cocksure" which simply means it's better to be sure about something than to hope for it. It will also put your mind at ease.

The best that will come of it is that you both would be on the same page and even if the counseling doesn't continue, in the least it would have opened up some avenues for better communication between you and your husband or (worst case scenario) put things into perspective as to wether you can or want to save your relationship.

I hope all goes well...

Answer 5

Seeking counseling in marriage is always appropriate when you need advice, a little help, a little fine tuning, or a major over-haul. If you are feeling a little lost, or overwhelmed, it is a good time to get some help.You know for certain that you need help with counseling if one or both of you are being abusive in any way, i.e., mentally, emotionally, physically. When in doubt, check it out. Chances are, you already are feeling a bit of dissatisfaction and know you want to talk to someone if you are wondering about this. You shouldn't feel bad about seeking counseling either. Think of it as paying someone for their advice. You don't have to take it, but it just might be what you need. You should definately consider counseling if you are struggling to communicate, or if your sex life is suffering (or a lack therof), or if you just don't communicate at all. You may learn to speak each other's language, and a counselor can help you identify this and learn to listen as well. Sometimes a counselor can help you discover what the hidden needs are that you or your partner has that you can help meet or fulfill, or have fulfilled or met. Counseling can be a great tool as the counselor will be objective and will be able to listen to you both, without taking sides.

Answer 6

Obviously when abuse or violence is happening it's probably best to have a separation, at least until counseling has been established and even then it will be a long road back to living together again.

When Both people are willing to go into the counseling, with the understanding that it isn't about a "blame game", but a sincere attempt at finding a more healthy way to relate then real progress can be made.

Good luck, it sounds like your considering a good thing :)

Answer 7

Wow, your marriage can need counseling for a lot of reasons. If one person is not financially responsible, and they are putting the family in financial jeopardy. If you blending two families, where one person is bringing a child into a marriage. They could be resentment by the child, especially if they child was the only person in there parent life for a long period of time. Personally I think before any couple get married, they should have some kid of counseling to ease the process. Marriage is the bringing together of two separate and distinct lives to make a totally new life. That opens up a entirely new set of issues, that should be addressed before you say "I Do".

Answer 8

All relationships will be in need of counselling at some time or other and it does not necessarily have to be from a paid professional.
You can also get advice (air an issue) with a mutual friend that both parties respect.
If you feel that the communication between you and your loved one has broken down or is not as good as it used to be then you really need to address the issue. If you find there are things that you really need to get off of your chest but can't because of fear of a reaction...I'd recommend counselling. It is not right, nor is it fair to silence the heart if it knows there is a problem... Talk about it and eventually things will get better...Leave it and you could become bitter.

H.x

Answer 9

If you two want the marriage to work, any time is a good time.

In order to get married in our church, we had to go through pre-marital counseling. There was a lot more to getting married than we thought! Everybody has preconceived ideas about what a marriage should be like, but not everybody has the SAME ideas, or knows how to "get there." And you can't get there on your own. We had to read books, listen to tapes, and have sessions in our pastor's office for quite a while and discuss a lot of different things. And that's before anything happened!

You both already know how complex marriage is. If you are even thinking about it, and you can find someone you trust, discuss it with your mate the best you can and do it soon. Love and marriage takes a constant building up.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 10

Obviously when abuse or violence is happening it's probably best to have a separation, at least until counseling has been established and even then it will be a long road back to living together again.

When Both people are willing to go into the counseling, with the understanding that it isn't about a "blame game", but a sincere attempt at finding a more healthy way to relate then real progress can be made.

Answer 11

If you are asking this question, you most likely are in a situation where your marriage may benefit from counseling. Everyone has different experiences with counseling, so I can't say if it is "good" or "bad". Sometimes, though, it is helpful to talk out your concerns with a third person who is separated from your situation. Just make sure the counselor is a professional who has been properly trained. You want to see someone who is a Licensed Marriage and Family Counselor (LMFC).