We tried to encourage him to get his GED and to find a job. We even allowed him to stay in our home with the understanding that it was to try to help him! BIG mistake....he did NOTHING....my husband was at school, I was at work, my daughter was at school and he sat in our home, played video games,played on the internet, watched tv,ate and slept......not one thing around the house! EXCEPT impregnate my underage daughter....who thinks she is completely "in love" with this person who she "thinks" is going to be a GREAT father! We gave him a deadline to have a job by and when his time was up and my husband was taking him to the bus stop to send him back to North Carolina where he came from....they dropped the bombshell of a baby! I want my daughter to finish high school and go to college and we will be here for her and the baby through it all.....however he is NOT allowed back into our home! He seems to be VERY manipulative and has such a hold on her! Anyone else go through this?!!
2007-05-29 03:09:20 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Congratulations on your coming grandchild.
It is sad that dreams have been upset by circumstances and the father doesnt fit the desired profile of what you would like for your daughter.
The clock cannot be turned back and unless abortion is an option, working with what is happening is all there is left.
I know how disappointed you must feel, but with love this preciouse life to come could well make up for all your fears.
Love what is about to happen and stop grieving over what you imagine you have lost that hadnt happened yet.
2007-05-30 07:46:56 · answer #1 · answered by tillermantony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mistake was letting him in the house. What did you think was going to happen?
Now all you can do is deal with the hand you have been dealt. I wouldn't' even be surprised if the baby was planned. He knew his deadline was coming up and needed to find a way to stick around. It would seem you daughter has caught herself a dud, but by letting him move in, a lot of this is on your shoulders now. You need to do whatever you can to get her through school and if not college at least some kind of tech school to further her education so she can get a good job, because she is going to need it.
Forget the statutory rape thing. It's not going to help anything. She will just hate you for having him arrested. If she's going to get rid of this leach, she is going to have to do it on her own. Hopefully as she matures, she will see what a loser he is and move on, but even if she does, the child will bond them forever, unless he turns into a dead beat that wants nothing to do with the baby, he will always be a part of her life now.
2007-05-29 03:21:13 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is called statutory rape. He is an adult, And she is a minor. She doesn't even have to press charges, You can do that and he will be out of your life for the next 5-10 years in the state prison. He has no job or means of support of your daughter or her child. He is just a user.. All he will ever do is take what he can get. And when he gets bored with her, he will just move on without a second thought for your daughter or his own child. The only thing your daughter will find in a relationship with a man like this is pain and regret.
2007-05-29 03:27:45 · answer #3 · answered by master_escrimador 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The first answer was right in that it is statuatory rape. If you feel he is a very serious problem, you can take that issue to court. Remember there will be ramifications to that decision though, from both him and your daughter.
Your daughter is almost an adult. Very soon she will be able to make her own decisions completely, and there's nothing you can do about them if they are unwise decisions, but sit back and watch her ruin her life for awhile.
But there's hope. Your daughter is going to realize over time what a loser this guy is, and will probably take him off that pedestal she has him on.
Until that day comes, be there for your daughter. Ask her how she feels about him not working, etc., and isn't she a littlet concerned about it?
Be gentle and kind and help her out when you can. In the end she will remember your behavior and appreciate it's loving manner, instead of remembering the fights between you and her if you try to control her.
2007-05-29 03:19:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wow. Well, I was in the same situation 3 years ago. Me 17 and BF(now husband) 22. The only difference was that my BF was working and asked to marry him. But i will highly suggest to talk to your daughter. Ask her was she really wants to do. Either live with her lazy, manipulative, no good BF, or have an opportunity to graduate and be somebody in life. Tell her that you are willing to help her through out her pregnancy and after. If she is really in love with him, I doubt she will want to stay with you. If she does not want to stay with you, she will have to learn the hard way. She will soon turn 18 and if she wants to leave, she will. I guess the only thing you can do is sit down and have a long conversation.
I wish the best for you and your daughter. Hope evrything works out, and hope she decides to stay with you and finish HS. : )
2007-05-29 03:37:17 · answer #5 · answered by Latina4life 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Press charges on him for statutory rape. Any time you have a horny teenager, don't let her boyfriend live with you. Adoption is the way to go. But do press charges, TODAY. And don't EVER drop them. Tell your daughter he may not be his only free prostitute. And do use those words. If you have any other teenage girls, do what my mom did. I was 12 or 13 when she told me this. She told me if I became sexually active she wasn't buying birth control, and if I got pregnant I couldn't raise it under her roof, and she wasn't paying for an abortion. She said the only thing I could do was adopt it out. Tell your daughter she now has to get a job flipping burgers, and give her 30 days to do it or she's out. Do NOT volunteer free babysitting. She already has taken advantage of your generosity, don't let her do it anymore. Her boyfriend isn't the only manipulative one. She is as well. Don't let her manipulate you into anything anymore. She already manipulated you into letting her boyfriend live there rent free and take whatever he wants.
2007-05-29 03:24:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
you're 33 and you do no longer use any punctuation? truly? consistent with hazard you're only disillusioned and typing quickly and if it truly is the case you may desire to get her right into a psychological facility asap in case you do no longer desire to be sure her lifeless. My buddy had a 17 year old daughter who replaced into additionally emo, we tried to tell her to take her in and he or she pronounced no, no she is only attempting to discover who she is etc etc...wager what? On mothers Day 2008 she got here across her putting lifeless from the tree of their outdoor dealing with the kitchen window. She knew her mom constantly have been given up for espresso and can see her there. It replaced into terrible yet all of us warned the mummy, it truly isn't any longer something you may forget approximately approximately or attempt to understand. She desires some severe psychiatric care.
2016-10-09 01:34:57 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guys should be busted for statutory rape. You gave him EVERYTHING and all he did was take.
Give him an ultimatum. First, have the paternity of the child established at birth. Second, make sure he KNOWS you will prosecute unless he mans up, gets a job and shows proof that he is willing to accept responsibility for this baby. If it were my daughter, I would probably have him busted but I know that may alienate you from your daughter and future grandchild.
Good luck to you and your family. It's sad that this lazy loser has the capability to reproduce.
2007-05-29 03:19:14 · answer #8 · answered by katydid 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh God i dread the day my daughter is 16 and has the hot pants . I'm mean as hell to her boyfriends but I'm a single dad so i have to be anyway there afraid to come over let alone live in my house . Sorry for your troubles but your going to have to help them out together or ells your daughter may run away with him . The damage is dun all you can do is be kind and hope for the best
PS why didn't you get them condoms when you had the chance i took my daughter to the doctors and had him give them to her
2007-05-29 03:25:23 · answer #9 · answered by dad 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Im a lawyer and im sorry but as horrible sounding as this story is ...most of the people who answered before me are just wrong......its not rape....the age of legal consent in most states is 17..and in some states its 16....so dont throw the rape card out there no matter how emotional you feel about the situation. If you did call the police..the most they will say is sorry she is of age. And then she will never forgive you.....move out with him the second mcdonalds hiires him and she will never talk to you again...until she is hooked on drugs...or really gets raped from being out on the streets. The best thing for you to do is to let her know you are there for her but you are very disappointed. Help her decided to keep the baby, give it up for adoption or have an abortion..you have options..many people on here will have a problem with those last 2 but this is your life and your daughters life. Besides that...get her through high school....take her to look for a job for about a year..then send her off to college....if you keep the baby take care of the baby for her ....it will be hard but in the long run if she goes to college her life and your life will be better....as for him...tell him to get a job or he will be gone..plain and simple. Make him pay rent and give money to you for the baby. It wont be easy but if you dont guide her to college she will suffer forever ...and so will that baby....
2007-05-29 03:26:44 · answer #10 · answered by Christopher R 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋