Divorce when 1 party is unwilling?

Question

My friend is stuck in a marriage where his spouse torutures him mentally and emotionally blackmails him using the kids. He is willing to end all this, however she is adamant not to give him either divorce or the custody of the kids. How does it work in this case? Can the man still apply for a divorce and also request custody of kids(both minor) citing the mother's psychologically disturbing behaviour? Please help, he is at his wits' end..

Answer 1

As you mail id suggest you are an Indian & must have asked this question in relation with an Indian in India. Well yes he can file petition for Divorce against his wife on the ground of cruelty which is an ground relating to not only physical but even mental cruelty that is continues in nature & for a long time in progress that has made their living to together impossible & there is a complete breaking of the matrimonial home without any repair possible in future. As far as the custody of the children is concerned, the courts apply the golden principle of general welfare & wellbeing of the children in relations to the parents, keeping in mind the income of both the parents, educational background of both the parents, time each parent can devote in general development & progress of the child, age of the child, the marital status of the parents after there divorce, & even the choice of the child for any of the parent. Although the permanent custody of the child is awarded to one of the parent but this can be changed if circumstances so exist in future, at the same time the parent who is not enjoying the permanent custody of the child can always get right to visit & keep the child for short period of time regularly as the parents agree or court decides accordingly. No single parent can be deprived the company & love of the child completely.

Answer 2

First thing he needs to do is start documenting things as they happen so he has a record of her psychological blackmail and other actions.

He can still apply for a divorce but I can guarantee it's going to be bitter and long and drawn out if she isn't willing to go along with things.

One thing he definitely needs to do is keep his record clean ~ no girlfriends or calls to females unless he is at work and it is connected to work. She could well use things like that against him.

He should go ahead and talk with a lawyer for some advice so he knows upfront what he can and cannot do so when he does get everything together that he needs, he can get it started and be ready for what comes (as much as one can).

If he hasn't already, he needs to set up a separate savings account with his name only. He can always have them sent to his parents house or someone he knows he can trust to keep it a secret. He will need money for the divorce and to get himself set up later.

Above all else, he needs to make sure they don't argue around the kids. If she tries to start things, he needs to not respond or keep it calm, clean and gentle so the kids don't see them arguing. It won't solve anything and could well work against him.

My hope is the kids aren't scarred by all this but with a mother like that, they may already have some problems. He should probably go ahead and seek counseling for him and the kids. Those records could come in handy later when he files for divorce.

Answer 3

Its called a contested divorce and could get real nasty,expensive and time consuming, but he will eventually get the divorce. The cours usually tend to award the custody of the kids to the mother unless shes ruled unfit. He has a good case ofmental instability here but he will have to prove it andnot by hearsay. Any police or medicalreports will help and any character witnesses he can produce wont hurt either. He can use the threats and blackmails but he ha to prove they ever happened and without it, its his word against hers and thatsnot good for him sincehes doing the accusing. So if he can prove what he says then theres no problem here but getting the kids wont be easy and he should prepare himselffor the fight of his life,but dont fight it on her level, because he ha to prove himself to the court regardless of the outcoming, because even if he does lose the kids,he can always take her back to court for remodificattion hearings on child custody and/or support only, after the divorce is final. Good luck. Please feel free to contact me if I can help further,my email address is: [e-mail]

Answer 4

first of all, she cant keep h im form the kids, and he can get a divorce even if she doesnt want one, it will just take longer, he needs to first get proof of her craziness, witnesses, video surveilence, ect, also, if this man is the father and on the birth certificate, guess what, he can take the kids with him and file for divorce, there is no law that says when a man leaves he cant take the kids, womend do it all the time, and when she goes nuts and calls the cops, they will tell her that he is the father and he has rights, that this is a domestic issue for a family court judge, and he should take that opportunity to show the cops his evidence to her unstability, they can help him later in court at the divorce .

Answer 5

She does not have to give her consent for him to get a divorce. All he has to do is get a lawyer, file, and let the ball get rolling. If there are any issues over the kids, financial issues, property issues, etc, she will be forced to get lawyer in order to fight him on these issues. Otherwise, she has NO say in what his lawyer will file for in this case. As long as he has not abused his kids, neglected them, or emotionally abused them, then he will have every right to see his children and the judge will decide what rate of child support will be paid by him. No reason to wait on her any longer. Get out of this unhappy marriage, and get the divorce done. Both of you, and your children will be much happier after you do so. Good luck! Wish you alot of happiness.

Answer 6

Are you "the other woman"? If the answer is yes don't believe a word he says. He is using his wife not wanting a divorce as an excuse to keep you on the hook. Only one party needs to initiate the filing for a divorce decree. The parties do not even need to be living separately and can be living as roommates.
If you are in anyway involved with him stop until he is available. Make yourself available for the available man.

Answer 7

Alot of it depends on which state you are in. The laws vary by state. It sounds like he will have to file for divorce (sue for divorce), rather than going the dissolution of marriage route which is when both spouses come to agreement of division of property, custody of children, etc.

Answer 8

In India if your friend was a woman it was easy but if your friend is a guy he needs to collect, creat and make proofs and evidences of all his problems and claims. As a stepping stone get him to chk www.saveindianfamily.org; www.498a.org and get in touch with the nearest helplines.

Also as starters he needs to be doing the following:
1. Never file divorce unless he has all proofs and evidences, inclusive if her mental challenge, transfer of money to her and her folk's accounts.
2. Get as close as possible to his kids so that they tell in the courts that they want to go with the father.

Answer 9

There are LOTS of cases of divorce when one party doesn't want it. That's the beauty of emotional blackmail and/or abuse.
Tell him to go ahead, she doesn't need to give consent. She'll be served, given time to respond, then go to court. Period. End of marriage. ;)

Answer 10

Seek legal advised'
Noted down the date ,time and specifies on thw words of blackmail. Don;t argue nor fight just maintain your cool/
Sad , the one going tosuffer is the kids.