Pregnant and scared...What do I do?

Question

Hello I need for you to be completly honest with me. I just found out that I was pregnant this weekend. I took two pregnancy tests and I couldnt believe it, Im still in shock. I should have gotten my period around the eighth this month so I figured, let me test...I was on birthcontrol so thats what drives me insane even more. I havent told the father, but that is another story ( I can get into later). Im really scared. Im 26 and in graduate school to become a counselor..I dont have any family support, all of my family lives somewhere elseand I do not want to move or leave until I finish my masters degree next June. I spoke to most of my friends and theyre are all telling me that this is going to ruin my life. I have some siblings in Penn, but I know how they would react and it would be with so much disappointment. They were so happy that I started graduate school and although Ill probably be due in Feb or something three months before I finish school, it wil be a disapointment

PS..I HAVE NO FAMILY SUPPORT AND MY PARENTS ARE DECEASED...

Answer 1

Babies are blessings not dissapointments. True it probally couldnt have come at a worse time for you, but everything happens for a reason. I too just started college to be a teacher and have now put it off until after my baby is born. Life is all about choices so make sure the one you make is something you can live with the rest of your life. Abortions are I'm sure not fun and can be really hard to recover from emotionally. If it's not meant for you to have this baby then you wont, but if you are supposed to have him/her believe me it will be the greatest reward of your life.

Answer 2

Women have been getting pregnant since time began- it doesn't ruin lives! I think your friends are making you more worked up than you need to be... please try to step back and see your situation from the outside. So many teens come on here asking if they should get an abortion- 14, even 13 years old- reading that you're 26 and in graduate school actually made me breathe a sigh of relief!

I'm not saying this is going to be a walk in the park or anything. Don't try to go it alone- support IS important. I would suggest visiting a women's center- they'll help you with all the medical referrals, financial aid, etc. but more importantly they will be there for you without judging. http://www.pregnancycenters.org/advantage.asp
Also just because your family doesn't live nearby doesn't mean they can't be a source of support! Tell them a news in a positive way (I'm having a baby!) not a negative way (My life is over!) and I bet they'll start getting excited too!

Email me any time. I'm wishing you the best!
~Kelsey

Answer 3

Can u put graduate school on hold until after the baby is born? Sometimes life throws us obstacles but I know you will get through this. Please tell the father, he needs to know. Birthcontrol is not 100% effective, but I would say more than any other methods. Your life is not ruined, and don't have an abortion. It is not the child's fault for your actions. Adoption though is a better choice if you feel that you aren't able to take care of a baby at this point in your life. Everything will work out in the end. It's not like your 14, you're 26 and if people get disappointed in you, o'well. You're an adult and it's your life. Pregnancy can happen to anyone who is having sex whether they are on birth control or not. Good Luck, Please finish school and don't worry about what other people might think or feel about you. You need to be thinking about you and this precious baby:)

Answer 4

Please don't rush into any decision at this time - you're still in shock.
Having the baby may not be as difficult and interruptive to getting your masters as you think. Most University's have daycare centres on campus or for 3 months or so, you can find a private daycare provider.
There is help from your local government - it may be a horrible feeling or step down for you to temporarily take welfare to help you survive but do it.
You want to become a counselor. I don't know what type but think.....if you have to counsel single Moms or young parents, you'll know a lot more about what's involved and could help them more.
Having this baby will not ruin your life. It will make it a little more difficult for a little while (till you finish school) but then will bring you so much joy. Don't worry about disappointing others - that's their problem to deal with - this is 2007 and it's no big deal. You were on birth control and yet this baby is on it's way....a sign it's mean't to enter your life at this point....a sign from above???
Remember, there's help out there and one day when you are in a better situation, you can offer help in kind to another person in your situation.
Good luck and have a healthy baby.

Answer 5

Well, in this situation I would say..... Do what you think is best for you, not what other people want you do or will think of you! I was in a similar situation recently....I am young... 20 yrs old.. and I found out I was pregnant april 15th... I was terrified to tell my family because of what they would think. I told them and at first they were upset, but they got over it.. My mom is really excited now... I`m not in school but I have a really good job and was worried I was going to mess it up by telling them I am pregnant.... but everybody just seemed to be ok with it. Don`t worry about what people will think because you were on birth control, it wasn`t planned..... neither was mine... I was scared, and didn`t know how I was going to do this alone.. because my now "ex" boyfriend is a loser...lol... but I realized that no matter what I do or how mad my family will be... they will always be my family and will always be here for me. I`ve been in for a few ultrasounds, saw the heartbeat, and the last one I went in for I saw the baby dancing around in my belly on the monitor... I can`t feel it yet cuz the baby is so little but it was so far one of the greatest things I have ever seen in my life. You will be fine... finish school... you may need to take a semester off to care for your baby... then when the baby can go to day care go back to school.... You`ll be fine!!!!

Answer 6

Truthfully this is what will happen if you have a GOOD Pregnancy with no complications. If you end up with complications or severe morning sickness (which is more common than people realize) you may actually have to take off of school.

Is adoption an option for you? If so I do suggest it and even an open adoption so you can know your child but still continue on with your life (school/work).


Edit: ALL pregnancies are different so the saying "If you can do it I can do it" isnt so. No one can tell you right now what its going to be like.

Answer 7

Talk to the father and build yourself a support system. It is much more difficult to take care of a newborn as a single parent.
You should be able to keep going to school even while you are pregnant. I would talk to your professors and make any arrangements that you can with them. Letting them know ahead of time should make it easier to get a little help if you need flexibility to get to doctors appointments and stuff.
A nice thing about being so young is that you are more likely to have a nice simple pregnancy, and you are likely to be able to do pretty much everything you could before throughout most of the pregnancy. Make sure to eat well and to sleep enough, and you should be able to get through school just fine.

Answer 8

The disappointment people feel is only due to the fact that you are sooo close to graduating. They don't want to see you work this hard and let it all go after you have the baby. If you are determined to finish your schooling, you have to let people know that this baby is a bump in the road, but you fully intend to complete it because it will only mean good things for you and your baby. I think your friends mean to say that quitting school will ruin your life, not having the baby. I think it sounds like they are scared that you will quit school because of this and not go back.

Answer 9

Don't beat yourself up hun. You are 26, perfectly capable of taking care of yourself and a child without family support. There are pregnancy support groups everywhere these days, I'm sure you can find one in your area. Take a step back, remember what you are in school for, now think of how you would handle this if someone came in to your office with this same situation. Grad school doesn't have to be put on the back burner, you can do it. My mom raised two kids, worked, and went to UW (huskies), if she can do that without family support, you can do this.
You'll be amazed at the inner strength you really do have. Believe it or not, most grad schools can help you work around this. Talk to a counselor at school and your professors, tell them what's going on and they can help you figure out a course.
A child does not ruin your life, it changes your life. Believe it or not, this will help you in your career AND help you in school. Keep your chin up and talk to someone. Remember, there are plenty of people in your shoes around your area, you just have to search them out.
The decision to have a child is YOUR choice, no body can make it for you. There are options out there and you have to figure out which one to take.

Answer 10

It sort of sounds as if you are asking someone to tell you wether or not you should have an abortion. That is something that you will have to decide for yourself. You have to do what is right for you. If you feel as though you will not be able to take care of this child to your full potential and finish school, OR if you feel as though you could handle taking care of a child and going to school to finish your degree it is up to you. Either way, you need to tell the father. Maybe he will be mature enough to offer support and help to you no matter what your decision is.