2 years ago my hb & I seprated for 6 mths. During this time he had sex (if it can be called that on 3 occasions) with s/one else. He felt so guilty & dirty about what had happened that he could not tell me. (it came out when she let me kno 2 years after the evet!!! which was Jan this yr) He has come clean & admits that he had to mastubate himself to get an erection for about 10 mins and that the actual act only lasted for approx 30 seconds as he went flacid & did not ejaculate. He said that the experience was awful & that he was so angry with me he just did it to try & get one up on me as I was (IADMIT) so controlling and hurt him badly (no affair or anything on my part)What I want to know is does this sound right? If so, would it be down to guilt on his part?
2007-05-29 02:20:04 · 14 answers · asked by gooneress 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds genuine enough and I think he has more than realised it wasnt someone he wasnt comfortable with hence not being able to get an erection normally. Not saying that he wasnt wrong to do it but may be you should give him the benefit of the doubt after all you admit you hurt him pretty badly too. Leave in the past and make a future together you still have each other make the most of that.
2007-05-29 07:41:52 · answer #1 · answered by Magster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should have told you instead of you hearing it from the other woman, and more than likely he is telling you it was awful in order to downplay it.
But, you were split up and as you admit it was your fault, and it was 2 years ago. Let it go.
Get some counseling.
2007-05-29 02:28:08 · answer #2 · answered by Schwinn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My stbx told me exactly the same thing when I found out about his affair. That he couldn't get aroused, and that the sex was awful and the woman was useless as a lover. What a crock of crap. He feels guilty, because he enjoyed it.
2007-05-29 04:11:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it was so bad it would only have been once but three times
he is having you over do you think he would ever have told you if the other woman had not told you
try this out tell him you did the same and had sex two or three times but did not enjoy it and see if he excepts that
i bet you he flips and will not be able to get his head round it and will want to divorce you
2007-05-30 00:28:34 · answer #4 · answered by top cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the lead up to and the sex was so bad and it was such an awful experience for him then why did he go on to do it again on two further occassions!
2007-05-29 02:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by luz2loz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This was two yrs ago ,let it go.
but thats not going to happen, So
He has to dig himself out of the hole she's dropped him in.
he has to make you belive it ment nothing to him, because its easier than honesty,
You being into control (low self esteem) , will never forget ,never forgive ,NEVER
Get along to RELATE ASAP
2007-05-29 08:47:11 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like what he is telling you is the truth. I think its part guilt and probably part embarrassment too.
2007-05-29 02:30:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are a players dream.why? because you are the kind of person who goes against their own intuition and believe what they know is an untruth.None of what he says makes any logic or sense therefore it is not logical.Simple to me.
2007-05-29 04:36:11 · answer #8 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you worrying about it. you were seperated and what he did in that time has nothingto do with you. His guilt is his problem and he has to deal with it not you. If he needs to ofload his guilt send him to a counsellor - you are not his counsellor.
2007-05-29 02:25:10 · answer #9 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he for real? He's trying to pull the wool over your eyes.
2007-05-29 02:52:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋