My mother doesn't have work - my Dad earns a decent living but is always out on business. She has many friends, and stays out with them almost everyday - until like 3, 4 am! We're all grown up - 14, 18, 21 but I feel like my Mom doesn't take responsibility. Our house is a mess, she rarely cooks, and when she's home she's too tired to hang out with us. I try to help out cleaning once in a while, but then I feel it's unfair because it's not my house and I wil want to move out soon anyway. It irks my Dad a bit but what can he do, he's busy earning money for all of us and can't stay home to watch what everybody does. Am I being reasonable? How to deal?
2007-05-28 20:18:56 · 8 answers · asked by Wanna 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I think you are being reasonable for wanting your mom to be around the house more. After all, she doesn't work so most of her time must be devoted to her family - not her friends. A lot of mothers would want to give up their jobs just so they could spend more time with their kids. It sounds like your mother has issues of her own - maybe she is feeling lonely, or she's being left out when you guys are home, or maybe she's having a midlife crisis? Anyway, you must have a heart to heart with her (are you the 21 y/o?) and tell her exactly how you feel. Tell her you are concerned about the effect of her behavior to your younger siblings, since they are in their teens and need guidance. You are a smart kid to recognize your mom's attitude problem and want to try and solve it. But you will need the cooperation of your whole family, including your dad. Good luck, Bailey.
2007-05-28 20:45:58 · answer #1 · answered by Tammy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you and your siblings are 14, 18 and 21 you all should help clean the house. Your mom has done much bringing up all 3 of you, it's your turn to put in some work on the house which you have been living in since your birth. If your mom rarely cooks, how come you and your siblings are still around, alive and healthy? She must have fed you something or other all these years. Stop pushing responsibilities to your mom and start shouldering some yourselves if you intend to continue staying in your parents' house. Until the day when and if you do move out, you should pull your weight in the upkeep and maintenance of the house.
It's time you allow your mom to enjoy her life before she's too old to. Stop being selfish and be happy that your mom is happy and has friends.
2007-05-30 04:09:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that your mother needs to take more responsibility for her actions. She has a family and she should make sure that her family is taken care of.
I understand that parents sometimes need a break from their children but when it becomes an ongoing situation it can cause problems in the family, like it seems to have done in yours.
I would speak to your mother and let her know that this cannot and must not go on because it is driving your family apart.
You are a good child if you try to help out around the house. You seem to have more responsibility than your mother and sometimes the roles of parents and children can be switched.
Talk to your mother and let her know how you feel, that way she will no longer have any excuses for not acting like a mom.
2007-05-29 03:25:48 · answer #3 · answered by Roman Abromovich Beckham 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Answer would be different for the 18 and 21 year olds as they are legal adults.
However, for the 14 year old, , Yes, your Mom needs to be there a more responsive to his needs.
At 14 they still need a parent at home to help guide them in life's challenges. By being selfish, she is denying her youngest child access to an acceptable role model.
If you are not in a point in your life where you can be an effective role model and take custody of your brother, the next step, as sad as it will be for you, is to contact Child Protective Services in your community, give them the background and see if they will intervene.
2007-05-29 04:12:13 · answer #4 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say but if your Mom is out till all hours of the night maybe she has a drug problem. Your Dad on his days off should be talking to your Mom and see if counseling is needed. Let your Mom know you are concerned about her and the effect she is having on you and your family. It will help you to stay on goal, get your education or a job...keep yourself healthy!
2007-05-29 03:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by G-ma 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your dad should stop giving your mother money so she can go out and party. That might keep her at home a little more. And if your dad is always out on business, your mom might be feeling lonely and that's why she's out so much.
2007-05-29 03:22:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I had to do the same thing basically. I never knew my mothers middlem name until i was 20. Until I was 14 I called her By her first name. But anywho . . .
Personally, whatever you do for your mother to help her, she won't completely acknowledge or even be thankful for it until your gone and it's no longer happening. Don't take on so much that you stop putting you as #1, as long as #1 is alright, whatever energy you have left. . . use it to help out, I think it's great that you're being the bigger person. (it feels good doesn't it.)
2007-05-29 03:29:55 · answer #7 · answered by jenn4dave2007 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ask your Father why your Family
doesn't have someone to help with
the cleaning, and cooking because
your Mother isn't into it.
2007-05-29 05:25:17 · answer #8 · answered by elliebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋