I'm getting married in November and I have a stepfather and obviously a biological one. To avoid complications I chose my nine year old son to walk me down the aisle. My real father hasn't always been there for me, he's more a friend than a dad. I didn't choose my stepdad because I didn't want to hurt my real dad's feelings. It didn't work. Today my real dad found out that I want my son to walk me down the aisle and he's pretty upset. Am I wrong? I mean I could understand where he's coming from, I am his only daughter but at the same time he was nowhere near the father he should have been. Problem is, is that he doesn't realize that he wasn't a great father.
2007-05-28 19:02:19 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Seems to me that no matter who you chose someones feelings are going to be hurt.
I say, its your wedding and you should have the person you want to walk down the isle. I think having your son is wonderful. That would be a honor for him, something he will always remember
Good Luck ~Faith
2007-05-28 19:06:54 · answer #1 · answered by faith♥missouri 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
This is YOUR special day. Don't let your dad interfere with your happiness. The fact of the matter is that you are having your son walk you down the aisle. End of story. If your dad has a problem with that then if need be explain to him how you feel so that he understands your choice in picking your son. There is nothing wrong with airing out your feelings. It will make you feel better and at the same time let dad know he wasn't the father he should have been. Don't worry about hurting his feelings, I'm sure he's hurt yours in the past too. Hence the phrase "he wasn't a great father". There are consequences to the choices we make in our lives. This is one of his consequences whether he likes it or not. If your stepdad was a good father to you, then I wouldn't see anything wrong with him walking you down the aisle. Why are you sparing your bio dad hurt feelings when he clearly didn't earn this priviledge? I wish you the best, and remember: This is your wedding and this is your day. Don't let anyone ruin it!
2007-05-28 19:12:04 · answer #2 · answered by glittereyedg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have already asked your son to walk you down the aisle then I would not change my mind. Your father is a grown man and he is jealous of his own grandson? I have known many single mother's who have chosen to be walked down the aisle by thier sons.
I would stick by your original plan of having your son walk you. It just makes more since in the long run. Weddings are a hard time for dad's because they realize that they have either been a great dad or that they could have done better. good luck!
2007-05-28 19:17:37 · answer #3 · answered by hotelmajor 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well im sorry youre in this situation but i dont think youre wrong b/c i dont have a really great dad either, i love him but i always pictured my older brother walking me down the aisle when i get married b/c he is more of a parent to me than my dad so i dont think you did anything bad, but i would just explain to him that you chose your son to avoid complications between him and your stepdad. i dont know if this will help, but i hope it does and i hope everything works out 4 you! :)
2007-05-28 19:09:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
See you could sit down and ask him why he feels he should walk you down the aisle which could be obvious reasons or maybe he knows he wasnt the father of the year type of dad so he wants to make it up to, maybe it will help. But if you dont want to have this conversation in detail with him, tell him you are sorry if you hurt his feelings but are standing by your decision, if you want to explain yourself do so if not its your wedding, your day, do whats in your heart.
2007-05-29 01:06:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kind of know where your dad is coming from on this one but he has to realize that he was not there for you and he doesn't know much about u. With the hole thing of walking down the aisle and letting your daughter go away is a special sacrid moment and he doesn't even know who he is giving u away too. u should explain that to him. he doesn't know if your soon to b husband is a killer and u r in love, he doesn't know nothin. i think the idea of letting your son letting u go to another man is a great thing cause he knows that person is the right person otherwise he would of told u no no no. if he thinks your future husband ain't nothin.
2007-05-28 19:13:47 · answer #6 · answered by kita 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, this is your day. I made the mistake of trying to please too many people on my wedding day. Do what will make you feel happiest and most comfortable on your day! Have you considered having one dad on each arm? It could be a good compromise. I have also seen it done where one dad walks the daughter 1/2 way down and then the next dad switches off. Remember, don't get caught up in the way things "are supposed to be". This is YOUR wedding! Best of luck to you and CONGRATS!
2007-05-28 19:06:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I also had a similar problem. I am also the only girl, and my father wasn't a major player in my life. I wanted my brother to walk me down the aisle, but didn't want to offend my older brother and biological father. So, I worked it out this way:
I had my older brother walk me part of the way, then handed me over to my father, who walked me part of the way, then handed me over to my younger brother who handed me over to my husband.
Ultimately, it's your wedding, your decision. I LOVE the idea of your son walking you down the aisle. That's a special touch in adding him into the ceremony.
2007-05-28 19:08:01 · answer #8 · answered by Island*Chica 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you've chosen the right person to present you to your new husband. Including your son in this important step is a wonderful idea. It assures him of his importance in this step. I've read many of the answers given and most advise you that this is your day and it is. You don't have to explain or justify your decision or choice to anyone and you certainly don't have to tell your bio father that he wasn't a good father. He already knows. Do value the relationship that you have with both fathers and look ahead to your future. Congratulations and good luck.
2007-05-28 19:34:58 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Better yet walk down the aisle by yourself that way no one can complain! Well they can complain but it is your wedding and your decision and if they are adult enough they should accept it. Actually I like the son idea after all he is the one who has been by your side thru it all. Good luck and have a GREAT wedding!!!
2007-05-28 19:07:29 · answer #10 · answered by RB 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋