intubation... is it necessary?

Question

im kinda senstive asking question bout this but im just confused and dont know what to do, im the eldest child and sole person to decide on this matter.

my father was diagnosed lung ca brain mets stage 4 and the doctor told me that his survival rate would be 6weeks.

His body starts detiriorating and the doctor wants my decision if i will allow intubation (meaning placement of tube so he can breathe) but the procedure will be painful for him and still this will not be also an assurance for his survival. Im torned between not doing the procedure since it will cause him pain but if i will not allow it, its also indirectly saying that im giving up for my father's life...

I cant decide on this im confused please help me... thanks!

Answer 1

You must realize that regardless of whether you do the procedure or not, this will not alter the prognosis of your father. He is in stage 4 lung cancer with brain metastasis. He will not survive very long. The question is how you would like him to go. He will be in much pain from the cancer and intubation will just add to this. I would suggest that you talk this over with your father if he is still able to. If you are the one tasked to decide, then I would suggest that you make him as comfortable as possible. Don't blame yourself for this decision. You are not giving up on your father's life. The end is a certainty but most would like to go with dignity and not prolong their agony. .I hope this helps.

Answer 2

I am so sorry to hear how sick your father is. I lost my dad to brain cancer 14 years ago.
Being a nurse I felt that intubation would only add a few hours to his life. If the cancer is forsure terminal then itabation to me adds torture to the end of a persons life.
I would recommend your father recieve plenty of pain medication for pain and also some oxygen in his noise to ease things for him. Anything beyond that is prolonging ineventable death and adding a day or two or perhaps an hour or two.

If he was my dad I would ask for NDR (no recessitation) Or medical heroics for him.

Let him die in peace and in as little pain as possible.

Also, just because he seems uncoscious, or that he can't hear you. Please don't take that as the fact that you should ignore him. Hold his hands. Talk to him. Sing to him. Tell him that you love him. A person near death may not be able to respond, but they might be awear of what is going on around them.

If you choose to intibate, then you might be asked to let them incert a feeding tube. Then if there is a kidney ifection they will treat that.....this is unduely interference of pending death.

As a family you need to formost respect the life and death of your family member. Death is the crossing to the spiritual realm. There is no greater honor than letting a person go with honor, respect and love equal to the joy that was experienced when they were born in to the world.

No one ever dies alone. The light of God surrounds them. There is no more pain , sorrow or any other kind of human inadiqucies.

There is no right or wrong answer here. If he seems frantic to breath, you migt just choose the intibabtion.

Feel the peace that although you can't decied this minute what to do. YOU will know the answer to the question when it is asked of you. Feel confident in your choices.
Whatever you do, chose to give your father a graceful and loving crossing from this world in to the next.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear that. Intubation in just a way to help him breath easier and SOMETIME sustain life. The procedure maybe painful but once it's in then you father will be put on a ventilator to help him breath. He will be put on a fentanyl drip (a pain medication that helps with the pain and helps him relax) or other medication to make him comfortable. If your father still conscious and able to make decision you should ask him. Now the fact is that you can never predict the future, they say 6 weeks maybe he will fight and stay longer or vice versa. Ask opinion about you other family members, do they want him to be intibated or not. They cannot make the decision but you can ask for their opinions.

Answer 4

I just went through this with my husband. I did not want him to be kept alive without a chance of surviving anyway. I didn't want him to suffer. He also had stage 4 but it was non small cell lung cancer that went to his brain and the rest of his body.He didn't have a chance of making it more than a few days.He survived the original brain tumor by 3 years and was given only 3 months. Getting a DNR is a very hard thing to have to do. Does your father have a living will? This would make the decision his.
I know what you are going through. You will know when the right time to make that decision will be and you will know what is best.

Answer 5

I know how you feel. My father is also a cancer victim. He got a prostate cancer and its also advance it metastasized to his bones. He is still fighting for that until now.

In your father's case, I still believe that prayer is the most powerful. Ask for God's guidance and enlightenment for you to have a confident decision.

If intubation is not really an assurance that he will live then, if you will ask me, Y should i allow it to my father? It will just prolong his agony and you don't want that to happen don't you?
Everyday you witness how he struggled in bearing the terrible pain of that disease, its every ones wish to put an end to that pain.

My sister also died of colon CA. Few days before she died, it was her wish to let her go in peace for she cant bear the pain of all these tubes and needle pricks anymore.

Not allowing intubation to your father does'nt mean that you are giving up, Remember that everything lies in God's hands. Once the heartbeat stops its His will and no human being could stop that even the most skilled doctor in the world.

Answer 6

If your dad is still conscious then it would probably be best to ask him what his wishes are. Also, check to make sure he doesn't already have a living will. If he can't make a decision then unfortunately it will come down to you. If you don't make a decision then the hospital is basically required to do everything they can to keep him alive. If you have siblings, maybe you all can talk it over and come to a decision. Maybe your dad had mentioned something to a friend or your siblings about whether or not he would prefer to live on machines or not. It's a tough decision and I can't even imagine having to be the one to make that decision. I wish you luck and I'm very sorry. If you need anyone to talk to feel free to contact me.

Answer 7

I know how you feel I have watched A few of my family memebers eaten up by cancer. It is very
hard to take. My advise to you is this MY LOVE,
take A few deep breaths and close your eyes and
with your mind keep asking this for as long as it takes to get your answer ASK over n over what due you want me to due ,DAD? Trust me he will give you the answer! when you open your eyes what seemed like for ever to you waiting for his reply will come faster than it seemed to take and
follow his instructions to the letter. If by some reason he dose not answer you dont give up just
ask for guideance from the THE LORD IN his SONS NAME JESUS CHRIST OUR GUIDE AND SAVIOR for his will not yours amen.
IF your dad ever said thats to much to due to keep some one alive like that with machiens then dont due it.let him Die. this might sound crule but if he resented seeing others keeping some one alive like that then please due not due it to him.
if you due you are striping him of his dignity to die and not be a veggie.