May I please ask an etiquette question?

Question

Is it OK that if you're living under someone else's roof, they have every right to just go in your stuff & take & use or steal it without asking, just because it's their house? I'm living with my brother & he does that to me, & I feel like he's dogging over me & taking advantage over me, & people tell me I have to listen to him in his house, but at the same time, he needs to ask me for my things before he uses it. One time he used one of my previously used razors without asking. Today, he used my umbrella without asking for my permission.

I want to move out of here soon when I get paid. I don't like it here.

Answer 1

No, it's not okay. Even though u live in ur brother's house, he doesn't have the right to go through ur stuff. That's invasion of privacy.
U don't have to put up with that. If I was in ur shoes, I would move out as soon as possible, and tell ur brother exactly what u think of him. Tell him to mind his own business and leave ur stuff alone or u will report him to the cops. I would.

Answer 2

No it is not ok. Just because you live in his house he does not have any right to go through your stuff. You are an adult and he is not your parent. If I were you I would get a lock for my door until I was able to move out. Have you talked to him about it? Let him know that you don't mind him using your stuff just as long as he has your permission first. Let him know that just because he is your brother doesn't mean he doesn't have to ask for permission. It's an invasion of privacy.

Answer 3

I don't think he's taking those things because you "owe" him for living in his house. He's taking them coz he's your brother. Maybe the relationship is special (it should be). What that does, is it gives you a moral right to dunk into his things as well.

Don't whine about your brother in public, specially with a superficial problem like taking your umbrella. Heck my brother can have/use anything I own.

Answer 4

would I ask who's speaking? is nice. Etiquette is depending on being polite, pleasant, and thoughtful--this question is about asking. "would i recognize," no longer purely sounds tacky, although that's a touch too aggressive.

Answer 5

The agreement to share a domicile is made by ALL parties, with the unspoken understanding that mutual respect should be exercised. It doesn't sound like your brother is living up to his end. I suggest a calm and non-confrontational point-blank conversation about respect for your things.

Answer 6

Personal property is personal property.

One should not use another's personal property without asking permission.

And landlords do not have a right to search a tennant's belongings, or take them without permission.

Get out ASAP.

Doc Hudson

Answer 7

To be honest, I think your bro's rude. Mutual respect is very important especially between family members. The best thing u can do is to move out at the first chance u get.

Answer 8

Sounds like just because the two of you are related he's got no boundaries.
H*ll yes, I would expect someone to ask be fore taking my stuff w/ out permission.
That tick me off pretty god.
Get out of there girl! It's time to move on.

Answer 9

You should respect his house, obviously, but just because your things are in his house, that doesn't make your things HIS things, ya know? Unless--and I'm not assuming or anything--you've given him significant reason to believe you have stuff that he doesn't want in his house, he should really just ease up and respect your property the same way you do.

Good luck!

Answer 10

If your living in his house, you play by his rules, but he does not have a right to go through your things. If your old enough to be working, I'd save all I could to get out of ther ASAP.