we want to get married for several reasons now, but our families think we need to wait a while, so we want to still have the "wedding" for them in a year or two, with out them knowing we are married if we decide to do it soon.
2007-05-28 14:48:42 · 24 answers · asked by Em-lynn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If you are old enough to get married then you are old enough to be honest. Secrets are always found out and people are very hurt by them.
2007-05-28 15:45:21 · answer #1 · answered by Cloee Quips 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How are you gonna pull that off, your going to want to live with your husband... unless you already are. If that's the case, then why don't you just wait and have the wedding in a couple years. If the two of you are meant to be together then you'll still be ready to do it then, plus the year or two will keep you busy planning everything out. I'm sure if your families found out, they would be really hurt. Why don't you just let them know that you guys have set a date ( a year or so away) and you would like them to help you with the arrangements. You'd have a much nicer wedding, and every girl wants to have memories of this day... think what you'd be missing!! Congrats either way, and Good Luck!!
2007-05-28 15:09:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can just go to the court house and get married. You don't have to tell anyone, but I think it's pretty selfish to lie to everyone, then expect them to fork out all that money on your "wedding" when you're already married. They probably want to be a part of it and support you on starting your new life together. I think they would be very hurt if they found out about that. I'm guessing they think you're too young to get married. What reasons do you have to get married right now instead of waiting another year? It's not that long. Whatever you decide to do (get married now or later) please don't lie to them and have a party thrown in your honor long after you married in secret.
2007-05-29 03:19:55 · answer #3 · answered by Renee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really is no way to do this. If you get married now, then the only option you will have for a ceremony is a renewal of vows and that is usually announced by the priest as that is what is happening. The best thing you can do is sit down with your parent's and explain to them why you want to be married sooner. If you sit and talk it out with them like adults and let them know that you want to hear their reasons for you to wait, and that you will take there advice into consideration about deciding when you will get married. They will look at this as a sign of maturity and be more susceptible to listen to why you want to get married now. Keep in mind that as long as you are of legal age, there is honestly nothing they can do to prevent this. Once you have talked let them know that you will let them know your decision in a few days. If you still decide to get married now then they will have to accept that decision whether they agree with it or not. Tell them your decision and stick to what you decide. Once they realize that you are in control of your own future and not them, they will either accpet it, or be forced to live with it. Sometimes it is a parents way of getting you to make decisions for yourself, and really think about the decision before you make it.
2007-05-28 15:03:05 · answer #4 · answered by Derrick D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to the Courthouse and get married. I got married without my family knowing and wished I hadn't. We ended in divorce. Not good to start your life out together a lie. Sort out your reasons that you think it is necessary to marry now, rather than wait. It is way too hard to keep it a secret. Don't ya'll want to be ablt to wear your wedding rings?
2007-05-28 14:55:58 · answer #5 · answered by orphan annie 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You just DON'T. That's not the way to start your lives together, with a pack of LIES. If you think you are mature enough to get married, then just get married, but tell the world! Spend whatever you can on a simple wedding, even just for close family.
2007-05-28 15:41:43 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wedding day (and there really is only one-even if you pretend a second) should be a very happy occasion-NOT one shrouded in lies and deceit. When will you celebrate your anniversary? Your family will all want to celebrate on your fake wedding day...so they will eventually find out you're a liar. Pluss, if you're young and your parents claim you on their taxes, you could be setting them up for some very serious legal problems if they'd still claim you and you're a married person.
Bottom line...if you have to sneak around, you shouldn't be doing it--no matter what it is. And you're also cheating yourself out of a positive wonderful experience.
2007-05-28 16:11:49 · answer #7 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My neighbor did this exact same thing. Him and his wife got married last year at a court house, but their family doesn't know they're married. The ceremony is more for the family so they're planning to have that in another year or two. If it's what you and your fiance really want to then I say go for it.
2007-05-28 15:28:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wanted to do the same thing. We made a few mistakes and people found out but here is what we did and what you can prevent. We bought rings and we wore them. You can get the rings but if you don't want anyone to know, you can't wear them unless you wear it on another finger and just say, it our promise to get married ring. We got married in the court house with witnesses who we trusted to never tell...but when you get married in a court house, they ask you if you mind being in the paper, we said yes but our mistake was that people read the paper and they found out. So say no I don't want to be in the paper. We bragged about it alot and we were so happy that we gave ourselves away. But my sister and hubby eloped and they kept it secret for a year...so it can be done. Good luck
2007-05-28 14:53:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why the rush? Trust your families, they love you & want what is best for you. My wife & I have been married for more than 36 years, & plan to remain that way for the rest of our lives. In the overall scheme of things another year or two doesn't amount to much time.
2007-05-28 14:54:05 · answer #10 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋