if you and your husband just got a new house to move into. That is the good thing. The one we got needed alot of work. Paint in every single room, all the trim needed painted, carpets needed cleaning. Husband spent the last month putting the tile in the kitchen and painting the cabinets, while you did everything else? Then, he gets mad at you for it, like you didnt do enough? I think i have a right to be pissed, he thinks he has the right. Oh, and when the time came to start moving things over you are the one packing the boxes, moving them to the new house and unpacking them. Does this seem fair? Dont get me wrong, i love him dearly but I am just overly annoyed tonight that he thinks he has the right to get mad at me and point out that I missed 3 nail holes in a peice of trim!!!!
Am I wrong for being upset?
2007-05-28 14:36:19 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A few of you were asking if I work out of the home. Yes I run a trucking agency. He works full time as well. As far as that goes we both work full time, I do ALL of the household chores & look after our 2 year old. He laid an 8 x 12 floor and painted 2 sets of cabinets. I guess it just got to me that he was being critical over what I had done, rather than pick up a roller and help me, hed rather be outside talking to the neighbors.
2007-05-29 02:50:41 · update #1
Y'know, after seeing all the posts here about cheating spouses, cheating spouses, and more cheating spouses, it's a RELIEF to see someone getting upset over something like splitting the home-improvement tasks.
Three nail holes in a piece of trim? Oh my, I'm actually chuckling.
This type of stuff is nothing. NOTHING.
It's a normal part of marriage and relationships. It may be annoying, but you shouldn't let it become MORE than annoying. And your husband shouldn't either.
Have a talk together. Have some wine. Have a cuddle. Then laugh at yourselves, go to the bedroom, and make whoopy like there's no tomorrow. That's what married couples do.
(I'm not a wife, but I've been a husband for thirty years. Does that count?)
2007-05-28 14:50:30 · answer #1 · answered by Bruce A 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to say who is in the right or wrong in this picture. First of all you did not say if you had more time than he did such as does he work too and do you? However, from what you did say I would say that he could have managed to do a little more than he did but I do know that it takes a lot of time to put tile down and if he had to strip and sand down the cabinets that would take a lot of time too. I do not think that you should have been yelled at for missing some nail holes. As for packing and moving things I do think that he should have been of more help. You could have packed and he could have started moving the stuff but there again if you had more time than him you may have done the majority but still he should have helped especially with the big stuff. If you are not working outside the home then you can take your time unpacking but if both of you work he should help. Maybe the next time you move or plan to do remodeling or something you can sit down beforehand and decide who will do what and make more of an effort to share in the project. However, this move is apparently done and over with so make up and let it go. Enjoy your new home and each other.
2007-05-28 21:51:46 · answer #2 · answered by susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know that moving house is in the top ten things that causes major stress? You are both coping with this, while trying to get your new home livable, so you're both on edge. Does that make the picking at each other right? No, but it does go some way to explaining it.
Does your husband work out of the home while your working in it? That could explain why you're doing the lion's share at home. He has less time. If that's not it you need to talk this through with him. He might feel that you're happier doing things your way.
But what I think you might need is some time out together, something to ease the tension, to give you two time to relax together. Then you can both come back to it refreshed, and rearing to go.
And remember that setting up your new home won't take forever, hopefully soon you'll both have a home in which you can put your feet up and relax.
2007-05-28 21:51:25 · answer #3 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be upset. And he has a right to be upset too.
It sounds like you two found a great house. And you worked monumentally hard to make it your own living space. You worked as a team getting the house all perfect. Maybe it's been a bit too much togetherness? Now wonder you're both irritated.
....but...a holiday weekend night is the perfect night to kiss passionately and make up in your new house!
2007-05-28 21:43:51 · answer #4 · answered by Nina 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no but you need to remember that he is male and men think that just because he put in tiles and cupboards that you did nothing because they where big jobs just remind him of what you have done
every time i we have moved i have done the packing and unpacking but he had to lift over heavy boxes cause i cant pack them propley so that was my way of making him help pack the boxes
as for unpacking dont unpack his things and he will soon get the message
worked for me
we have moved 4 times in the last 5 years
good luck
2007-05-28 21:43:33 · answer #5 · answered by traceybear81 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you both are overworked from the house and it's stressing you both out and then taking it out on each other. both of you need to take a breather from the house. Try to relax for a day or two and do something fun to relieve the stress. believe me that house will always be there!!!! So don't get worked up.
2007-05-28 21:47:49 · answer #6 · answered by leapyrangels 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you both are stressed out over this house and are taking it out on eachother. It sounds like you both think you did more than the other person. I wouldnt add and more fuel to the fire and just get over it. Pretty soon you will both be moved in and living as a happy family.
2007-05-28 21:41:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes...you have a valid point. HOWEVER, choose your battles carefully. In the big scheme of things, this is not worth your negative energy. My best advice would be to try and get over these feelings as soon as you can. You have a new house and a guy that you love....that is good "stuff"!
2007-05-28 22:07:19 · answer #8 · answered by mammy 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you both have done a great share involving this house. you should pat yourself on the back for the great teamwork instead of pointing out who did more or what. Was there any communication beforehand who was doing what so that both of you feel that equal amount of efforts was shared?
2007-05-28 21:43:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you are not wrong to be upset with him. Have you sat him down and told him how you felt? Tell him you are doing your best and he doesnt have the right to expect any more than that from you.
2007-05-28 21:44:23 · answer #10 · answered by trish_reas 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋