Okay, my brother has gotten in LOTS of trouble like doing drugs and all. So my mom sent him to boot camp(mma) and when they let him come home for summer he ran away and he was doing drugs and while he was still their but my mom wasn't he did drugs AGAIN. He ran away so many times and my mom can't trust him to go out with friends so when ever he asks to go out, she says no and he gets angry and sometimes runs away and when he's old enough to get out of the boot camp he's probably going to do drugs and ruin his whole life. And its a shame because he's hansome and smart and he could do better than this! We don't know what to do with him.
HELP!!!!!!!
2007-05-28 12:53:27 · 19 answers · asked by luckyduckling688 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You can only give him support and understanding, you can't live his life for him. He makes his bed and he must then lie in it ...
2007-05-28 12:56:34 · answer #1 · answered by zappafan 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry, but someone can't be "fixed" unless they want to be.
It's a shame he holds his drugs and partying over anything else, but that is something you can't do anything about.
It's hard, I know. I have a son in the same situation, nothing else matters but getting drunk and partying at all times, and he has gotten in so much trouble because of it.
Some people just insist on learning the hard way.
Many answers here will tell you to do interventions, and seek councilors and what not. But the one thing I have learned that people like your brother get to be experts on telling people what they need to hear to let them off the hook.
All you can do is tell him how you feel, and hope that he doesn't hurt himself or anyone else before he finally realizes what he is doing and truly wants to change.
Trying to change him or force him to do things to correct his behavior will only make him do it more.
2007-05-28 20:11:29 · answer #2 · answered by Mr R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is his problem now.
He cannot blame anyone for what he does.
If its your little bro... let him know... he will pay for his wrong doings later!
I am sure you can find examples of the losers on the street?
My neighbor... crack head... recovering .... ran over our garbage can... and drove with it under his truck for two blocks!
The boys.. know.... he has a drug problem... and well.... they laugh because it is so obvious that his lack of awareness is due to his drug addiction (or his past drug use)
Besides... if your bro doesn't have anything to strive for...
ie/ do well in school so he can get a job... his goals may be non existent... due solely because your mom doesn't give him enough responsibilities around the house... or your mom baby's him so much .... there is no need to be responsible.. such that he needs a good job so he can live on his own.
Perhaps the best way for your mom to deal with him... is to send him on his way... on his own.
Pay for rent. Cut the ambilical cord!!! Set him FREE!
And see.. where his drug money buys him!
Before you know it. He will realize how good he had it...
... and hopefully he will smarten up!???
good luck
2007-05-28 20:03:34 · answer #3 · answered by movngfwd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boot Camp isn't always the best option. See if there are other substance abuse programs out there that are geared for the whole family. The first thing that they'll tell you is that unfortunately teenagers are very likely to relapse one or more times before they "get it." It's very difficult on parents and that's why programs that help the family are helpful. It'll help mom to understand reasons why your brother might be doing what he's doing and give her tools she can use while he's going through this.
I wish you lots of luck. It's very difficult to watch someone you love go through things like this. I'm the Coordinator of a substance abuse program for teens. The most difficult part of my job is watching them relapse and return to the program. We just continue working with them until it all clicks.
2007-05-28 20:01:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you've tried everything to help him and nothing has worked, maybe it's time you tried Tough Love. Some people don't begin to turn their lives around until they've lost everything and everyone. That's called hitting bottom. Apparently, your brother hasn't hit bottom yet. Hitting bottom is different for everyone. Sometimes, it's simply a matter of being arrested and threatened with jail and sometimes it's a matter of losing your home, your family and your job. Some people never hit bottom -- they die addicts. The best thing you and your family can do for yourselves AND your brother is for you all to get counseling with a substance abuse counselor, because you need to vent your feelings and get good solid advice and direction from someone who deals with this kind of thing daily. If you don't, he could bring you down with him. That happens all the time.
2007-05-28 19:58:55 · answer #5 · answered by Emily Dew 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My brother is and has gone through the same things. just be there for him and keep letting him know how you feel. Let him know you love him but never enable him. My mom gives my brother tough love and sometimes with him i feel like it's the best kind of love for him. I wish the very best for you and your family.
2007-05-28 20:00:07 · answer #6 · answered by crystal_brett2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this situation I am not sure what is best to do. But in this whole thing you never mentioned your dad. If what I am thinking is correct, the drugs are a coverup of his pain. Running away is a sign to you all that he wants to get rid of his pain. I think what he wants is for you guys to show you care, for you guys to show that you had pain too. That you still do have pain. If this doesn't work then contact me on my page.
Becca
2007-05-28 19:58:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
How about an intervention.
This is when family and friends corner him and tell him what they think of him. Usually this hits home and the person will seek some kind of professional help.
Narcotics Anonymous may be a useful organization for him and for you and your family.
Good luck.
2007-05-28 19:57:57 · answer #8 · answered by tichwoli 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
At some point your brother will have to accept responsibility and consequense for himself. I don't know what to tell you except that he is obviously going to have to learn this on his own. No amount of punishment, counseling will do this. My heart goes out to your mom b/c I know she is having it rough w/him. He is selfish but doesn't care. My sister was like that and when my mom died a six years ago she was full of regret. Your brother is playing a no win game....
2007-05-28 20:00:02 · answer #9 · answered by e_spehr_99 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My experience with my family member that was on drugs is that you have to let them go "totally". Anything you do is only enabling them to continue this vicious cycle although you are doing it with good intent. Your brother will change when he wants to and that's just all. Just believe have faith pray and trust that God looks after fools and babies.
2007-05-28 19:58:01 · answer #10 · answered by Jade 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
See a Doctor.
2007-05-28 19:58:40 · answer #11 · answered by Kevin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋