"I'll pray for you"?

Question

When I first started learning about Wicca, I learned that it is not allowed to cast a spell on someone's behalf without their express permission, even if the spell was meant to heal or benefit them. There were two reasons for this:

1) The person might be traumatized if they found out about the spell later, if they disagreed with Wicca or thought it was evil.

2) It is arrogant to assume you know what is best for another person. Even if you think they need healing, you need their permission before you work toward that goal.

I'm surprised at the number of Christians on here who so flippantly say "I'll pray for you" without asking if it is okay. First, they don't ask if I have a problem with their god and if I even WANT his help. Second, the prayer is often offered in the context that they disagree with me and they want me to change my mind. That seems pretty arrogant to me.

Am I being too sensitive or does this bother anyone else? Is it rude or is Wicca too overly polite?

Answer 1

Yes, I find that sometimes I find it arrogant, especially when some say "I will pray for you" after a disagreement---I take it like they mean I need to be enlightened to their way of thinking. No you are not being too sensitive.
Those tenets of your religion are a respectful approach.

Answer 2

I have a very similar reaction as you do. When someone who doesn't know I'm a non-believer says "I'll pray for you" I'm fairly okay with it but I do inform them about where I stand after I thank them for thinking of me. If they do know I'm a non-believer I get snarky and basically tell them to keep their crap in their own pile.

Answer 3

Well it depends on how the person says it. If you are talking about how your family (G-d forbid) lost someone recently or was hurt in an accident, and they say "I'll pray for you" they usually only have pure intentions. If you don't believe in their god, then why do you care if they pray to him or her on your behalf? If you believe in their god, then why turn away help? But I can understand your situation. If you believe in their god you can explain them the situation, but I can't guarantee they will take it the right way. :-/

If you disagree with them (especially about religion) and they say "I'll pray for you" that's usually codeword for "I can't backup my arguments and I'm losing this debate, so I'm going to run from it and be condescending so you won't know I don't know what I'm talking about." Obviously, their intentions are not good, and I find that the best way to take this is just treat it like any other condescending remark. Just ignore it. They probably won't pray for you, anyways. It's rude and you shouldn't have to put up with it, but alas, the world is not perfect, unfortunately.

I also think that casting spells and prayers are seen as different things in the eyes of many people. It's like two different cultures. For instance, it is rude to enter a synagogue without a hat on (for men) whilst it is rude to enter a church with a hat on (for men) because of the way the two cultures evolved. So while it is considered rude in Wicca to say a spell for anyone else without their permission, it is generally not considered rude to pray for someone without their permission because 1. of the way the cultures and religions evolved and 2. because some people consider prayers and spells two different things. (why? people believe that spells are trying to make something happen while prayers are only asking for something to happen.)

I guess to answer your final question, it depends on the person. I can understand where you're coming from and in the wrong context, it is definitely very rude. But on the other hand, sometimes it's not rude.

Peace

Answer 4

They just think it's their duty to pray that God will have His way with you. I can see where it would be annoying to people who don't follow that path.

I have had people take what I say totally out of context and pray that I find God---when, in fact, I already have. Granted, I'm not an Evangelical, maybe that's what they have a problem with.

Answer 5

I think "I'll pray for you" is most often just a polite way of saying "I don't like you".

Now if Christian friends of mine say it (or for that matter if my witch friends say they're going to light a white candle and so some kind of projection for me), I don't mind, because I know it's my general welfare they're concerned with and this is how they go about things religiously.

What bothers me is when "I'll pray for you" is an back-handed way of saying "It's in your best interest to convert to my religion". It's insulting, not to mention a hypocritical way to hide intolerance for another person.

I mean if you Christians really think I'm an evil heathen, at least cut the BS and have the guts to call me that. I'd be far less insulted.

Answer 6

I believe most Christians are sincere when they offer to pray for someone. I do this when a request is initiated or the need is obvious. Many times I will ask someone if I can pray for them, and then what or how they want me to pray. I believe prayers can cancel each other out or not be effective if one prays one way and someone else another or that the person being prayed for doesn't agree.
You make a good point, although I disagree with your belief, I respect your right to it.

Answer 7

Uh...If you don't believe in what they believe in and don't do what they do, why would you care..., unless you think their prayers might truly have enough power to change anything in your life?
I don't care what you do according to your beliefs in my behalf..., and you explained your "rules", but it is obvious that us Christians DON'T have those rules so get over the difference. We CANNOT pray anything against God's will or against YOUR will. God gave us dominion over all things vegetable, mineral and animal, the circumstances, the works of the devil and every demom spirit, but NOT OVER OUR FELLOW MAN!! So not to worry mate! IF any Christian prays over you it will be only positive and helpful and cannot violate your free will. Smile..., Christians LOVE YOU no matter how we may disagree with your views or false gods or processes, rules and rituals.
They are harmless for or to anyone who "hides themselves with Christ in God" and knows that "no evil can come near our dwelling place" and who knows how to "cancel the enemy's assignment". Also, we believe we have "what we say", not what YOU say.

Answer 8

Im, Christian I hope that doesnt offend you, I feel like some Christians can be a little rude but dont put yourself in a defensive position because Im sure it doesnt benefit you and I strongly dislike "intrusive Christians", I believe that it is okay for people to share prayer between religions for the benefit of one another, this shows growth within humanity. Religions should be past the point of clashing with one another.

Answer 9

Whether or not I'm offended depends on who is saying it, and what their motivation is.
If it was my grandmother saying it, then it wouldn't bother me, because I know she means it from the heart. She is praying according to beliefs which are precious to her out of love and genuine concern. What I don't like is when someone is saying that they'll pray for me in a condescending sort of way. With an attitude like, "Oh, you're an atheist. You know your beliefs are wrong and you're going to burn in Hell for all eternity. I'm (inset belief here) and I know I'm going to Heaven because my beliefs are right. But don't worry...I'll pray for YOU."

Answer 10

People who think they need to pray for you aren't impolite for wanting to. The way they go about doing it, like if they don't like the fact that you're wiccan and they're like I'll pray for you- that's rude. But it's not like someone is going to hurt you by praying for something good to happen for you, but if you don't like it tell the individual person.