My Indian boyfriend of nearly 8 months told me that his parents calls him and pressure him to get marry with an Indian girl. I am Asian, and we are both studying in a 3rd countly. He was planning to go back to India for summer vacation, but now he is alarmed. Because if he goes back, his parents would set him up with a girl they selected. At this moment, he is not that much into marriage. We are getting along pretty well, but we never talk about marriage because I didn't want him to feel "pressured". So even this time I let him make his own decision. Deep inside of my heart however, I always fear that he would suddenly dump me and marry a girl from his own religion and caste. So even if he could somehow avoid his parents' pressure this time, same subject will surely arise when he completes his study (6 months later). My question is, will he ever marry me in the future if he really loves me? Will his parents approve? I'm 6 years older than him.
2007-05-28 12:09:34 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My best friend ( who is Indian ) was dating an Indian guy, like a year ago. The were from different caste and different states in India. Well the guy went home for vacation and came back with a wife , because his mom and dad forced him ! So be careful. Indian men are chickens. They always give in to pressure, especially pressure from their mommies.
You sound like a very nice person. Being all worried about "him to feel "pressured". But I hope that he is not taking advantage of you.
You need to talk to him and see how much he values you versus the whole Indian culture / belief system. And ask him that in worst case scenario if he has to pick between his parents and you, what will he do ?
I hope every thing works out for you. I will keep you in my prayers.
2007-05-28 15:18:01 · answer #1 · answered by zacki 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, they like the fair skin and guess what...they can be very open-minded. The real question is you. You can't just up and marry any Indian guy. If you come from a different culture you need to get to know the person well to see if your compatible. Thinking all Indian men are alike is like saying all American men are alike. Not true. If you get a great, nice Indian guy like I did please consider the culture shock first. Get someone who is modern otherwise it will be you who thinks later..."should I have married an Indian?" BYW Indians do not marry thier relatives, but yes they go to the same region but people are "very far removed". Also women do not have to cover thier faces unless they are Muslim. Hindus are very accepting of all races and creeds so this is your best bet. Also India has changed so if you get someone in thier 20s it will be better. They will be closer to your culture and give you more independence. Like with anyone else, have a courtship for six to twelve months and get to know the family, be perseptive and (again like with any culture) make sure you can live with them.
2016-03-13 01:04:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if he agrees to marry you, it is difficult for his people to accept you because you are much older than him. Indian culture would normally not accept an elder wife that too when the guy is well placed. Evenif he marries you, in longrun he may think that he has done a mistake in marrying an elder woman and that will create problem in your life. So better find out a suitable match for you in your culture.
2007-05-28 20:04:29 · answer #3 · answered by VP K 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
From the facts presented here by you , i feel that it is quite difficult for you to convince the boy's parents, as Indians generally believe in arranged marriages more than love marriages. It is also very difficult for a boy to go against his parents' wishes in matters like this.
As regards making a drama in front of his parents, i feel such things may actually backfire.
I have personally seen one such marriage wherein a christian girl convinced her Hindu boy's parents by enacting a high drama of crying and winning their consent. The girl also agreed for many of their conditions including the one for learning their language and adopting to vegetarianism. But after the marriage she threw every thing to the wind and started her own ways of independant life. The girl also refused permission of entry for her inlaws in her house.This created a big gulf in their marriage and finally the wedlock ended in divorce. The boy's parents underwent severe stress and mental anguish on account of this, which finally made one of them stricken with heart attack.Therefore the moral of the story is that every one should make a perfect study of their marriage beforehand and then only proceed ahead, lest it is likely to cause unnecessary problems later to every one concerned. As it is said that you do not marry a girl or a boy, but their entire family.
Best Wishes.
2007-05-28 18:38:22 · answer #4 · answered by V.S.Je 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Indian Boys, could be mama's boys!
If you are six years older, his parents could resist.
And if your races are different that could be another problem.
Your guy must be strong willed to push through all the above under currents!
Good luck anyway!!
2007-05-28 23:52:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hard love is blind ….if he really loves you n care about you he should not really care or listen to anybody coz you are the one who has to live a life together…………….not he’s or your parents
Unless otherwise hi thinks you are just he’s collage body n just having fun with……………….first of all think for second before he having or offer you a love or relationship did he ever ask he’s parents that oh mom n dad can I have a relationship with the girls who is older than me n she is Asian SO WHY NOW? When it’s come to marriage.
2007-05-28 19:26:12 · answer #6 · answered by gomesajay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all u have to do is a nice drama in front of his parents.try crying.first impress his mother,if u r bf is going down to india this summer.u too go with him.do some ground work.even if the agree to everything probably they wont b able to accept the fact that u r 6 yrs elder to him.but if u tlk some sentimental dialogues and cry and make a scene.they might agree.all the best but u have rare chances that they might agree.
2007-05-28 14:32:54 · answer #7 · answered by indra_shria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will not be able to marry you looks like he will have a pre-arranged marriage but since he loves you his heart will always be with you now abt his parents no approval at all..sorry
2007-05-28 12:27:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mira,
You are asking wrong people wrong question. Nobody knows this guy and how is family background is. Nobody but him.
Ask him where ya'll stand. If there is any future. And you will get your answer.
2007-05-28 17:30:49 · answer #9 · answered by Indy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
indians give more importence to family and parents even when it comes to marriage. u try to convince his parents that u can b a good wife and daughter in law and adjust and also u understand india and its values. if they agree u will have no problem. wear a sari or punjabi when u go to meet them. good luck. byeeeeeeeeeee
2007-05-28 12:36:22 · answer #10 · answered by deepa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋