It all started with a situation last November.. when a lot of self-esteem/ confidence issues had been building up, and a guy who I had a mini-crush on that'd danced with me and given me attention ended up thinking my best friend was hot. It killed me and triggered a four month depression of self-hate/ mutilation and confusion. I felt used by that guy for one night and people had always told me that I was prettier than my best friend. However, by four months, I had started coming out of that phase, and I also found out that this guy who I'd thought used me thought I was hot but he and my friend sort of had this thing now. And I didn't care anymore!
But after these few months, I can't be the same. I feel a whole lot better, but everytime someone thinks my best friend is hot or cute, I get filled with this anxiety and get put into that depressed state. I think it's an inferiority complex I developed but I don't understand any of it or how to get out of it. It only happens with her too!
2007-05-28 10:58:24 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
First of all, you need to understand that a lot of people go through this as they are growing up. There will always be someone who thinks your friend is hotter than you. But - by the same token, there will always be others who think that you are hotter than your friend. It's all a matter of opinion, and you should not see yourself as less than the beautiful person you are, just because someone thinks your friend looks hotter than you. Life is more than our looks, and a happy life is one where looks are secondary.
I think that talking to your friend about this may make your friend feel badly because she may feel that she "stole" the guy you had a crush on. I think that you should talk to your friend AFTER you feel better about yourself.
I wish you well, and I hope that you come to realize that these things will pass. If you find yourself feeling inferior, talk to a parent, or teacher, or guidance counselor. They may be able to help you realize that you are a one of a kind, beautiful person. Good Luck.
2007-05-28 11:17:56 · answer #1 · answered by Paul L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound pretty young, and possibly inclined to shallow guys. A relationship should not be just based on who looks "hotter" one day or the next. Don't trust guys who pour out compliments. Think of that as manipulation vomit. If the guy threw up on you,or himself, would you date him or sleep with him ? Hmm, probably not.
That should be a good test of guys you DON'T want to date. And never try to outdress your pretty friend, but do dress well and be beautiful when you have a date, and look nice the rest of the time. Let her go through the heart ache of being used.
Guys who actually like you will talk to you, and have more interest than how soon they can jump your bones, and who is hotter on any given day. You'll get enough sincere compliments,and happiness from a guy who thinks you are special, not stupid and easy.
2007-05-28 12:38:15 · answer #2 · answered by Laurence W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u probably are ugly . to the guy. hot can be different to diferent people your friend didnt do anything that bad get over it ok done finished bang boom vaporized there ok byby
2007-05-28 11:11:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are pretty, you shouldn't worry about. Talk to your friend and tell her how you are feeling. maybe she can help you better than anyone alse.
2007-05-28 11:03:26 · answer #4 · answered by cutiecolleen27 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think you need to discuss this with your friend...you will feel much better if you do...the tension will be eased...
2007-05-28 11:03:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋