Nearly two years ago I lent my wedding tiara to a friend and despite me asking for it back, she hasn't returne

Question

I lent my wedding tiara to my friend two years ago - she never returned it despite me asking for it.
It meant a lot to me(sentimental value) and was rather expensive.
I know I can't wear it anymore, but I had it on display in my cabinet.
I know I shouldn't have lent it now(too generous).
I don't want to take legal action, but what are some other ways I could ask for it's return without being too demanding or pushy.
I don't want to spoil the friendship although it's pretty strained now because I am hurt she has no respect for my belongings.

Answer 1

First, put it in writing. Don't beat around the bush. Simply state that when you loaned her your wedding tiara, it was with the mutual understanding that she would return it because of its sentimental value to you. Remind her of the dates or number of occasions that you have spoken to her about it, yet she has failed to return it or even attempt to make amends. Make it clear that you are very shocked and hurt by her indifference and you expect to hear from her to promptly return it. If she gets angry, don't be surprised. This woman is not a true friend. She knows fully well how much this must hurt you. Almost every woman is sentimental about anything to do with her wedding. Don't allow her keep your tiara and ignore you.

Answer 2

If you want to try once more on a "friendly" basis..lie! lol. I would suggest telling her that you are lending it to someone else or something like: you are having it permanently encased in a display box. Something that would have a time limit (the person who is giving you such an incredible price on the case is retiring *wink*wink*) Set a date within a week or 2 and follow up with calls to remind her about a week b4 and then again a couple days b4 the date. TELL (don't ask) her that you ARE coming for it. Don't let up or accept excuses..she says she'll b out, you say you can come b4 she leaves, you can meet her wherever she desires, etc.. She really could just be a procrastinator who puts off bringing it bk to you OR she has damaged or lost it or even wants to keep it because now, it is sentimental to her too. If the truth is the latter examples, then you need to pressure her so that she will 'fess up, then you can go from there. Sorry, but you NEED to be pushy.
Another thought: if you involve a third person, she could be shamed into returning it more quickly. You may even just have to "threaten" to involve someone else..if she is putting you off again over the phone for example, nicely say Well, let me talk to *** (her husband) maybe he has time to meet with me. Might work?

Answer 3

You actually have every right to be pushy about this since its been two years and she hasn't given it back yet. How often have you asked for the tiara back? What has she said in response to your inquiries?

It has sentimental value. Stop by her place and tell her you want it back now. If she says she needs to look for it tell her you will wait and can also help look.

Answer 4

I was in a similar situation... I called my friend and told her that I was in the neighborhood and wanted to stop by for a minute. After arriving there with coffee... I asked her for my item back. There was a lot of hemming and hawing, finally she told me that she lost my item and was afraid to tell me. She admitted that if she stalled long enough that she thought that I would forget. HA Well I asked for a check for the amount of my item and took off. A real friend would tell you if something happened no matter how uncomfortable it is for them! Hopefully this isn't the reason she won't return your tiara. Good luck!

Answer 5

I propose you a tiara for the marriage gown. I see many different tiaras on the internet internet site you reported. relatively proper. i'm going to purchase from it next 300 and sixty 5 days whilst i'm getting married.

Answer 6

How did you ask for it back? Did you say something like "Oh, by the way, can you give me my tiara back when you have a chance?"

You need to call her up or see her and say "____, I need my tiara back." Can I come pick it up today or tomorrow?".

You need to be direct. Get her to commit to a time and day when you can come get it.

If she keeps avoiding you, chances are it's because she lost or broke it.

Answer 7

Get a few of your friends and relatives to go with you to her house and bring up the subject of the tiara. If she can't give it back to you, ask her for a reason or compensation. If she can't give you a good reason/compensation, too bad, it's your unlucky day. Sever ties with her.

Answer 8

Since she's not your best friend and your relationship is strained anyway, take her to small claims court. The filing fee will not be over $80 and you WILL get your tiara back unless she wants to have her wages garnished. Sometimes it's absolutely mandatory that we put politeness aside and put ourselves first.

Answer 9

I'd say don't worry about the friendship. She obviously is selfish and doesn't respect you. I would enlist any mutual friends you have to bug her about it as well. Really, it's just short of stealing. You could send her a bill for it. Depending upon how much it's worth, you could possibly involve the police.

Answer 10

Send her a certified letter with a greeting card in it asking for the return of your property by a certain date. If she fails to return it then you have one of two options:

1) Legally pursue the return of your item or the value of your item

2) Accept the lose and move on with your friendship

I personally would think a friend would return your property seeing in it means so much to you.