If two people get a divorce after 20 years of marriage, you think they never really loved each other?

Question

I was just wondering, because I see lots of ex-Christians, who left Christianity after 20 years, being accused of never having been "real Christians' to begin with.

Answer 1

This way of thinking only hold guilt in to place. It take time for the mind to grow. I know I did not see the world the same as I did when I was 30 years younger. Over time I realize man has be lied to in many ways. Religion and governments have a lot in common. There power can only be derived from coercion and deception.

Now watch the religious start giving me thumbs down because I speak the truth about their religion.

Answer 2

I thought that was where you were going with this question. Nice analogy. As far as the marriage goes, people that get divorced after a long marriage sometimes were married for the wrong reasons to begin with. I do believe that some people marry not for love but money or other reasons. Some people that are married feel forced into it and after a while wake up and realize it was never what they wanted to begin with. Others have other reasons for getting the divorce. Perhaps something happened that could not be forgiven. Perhaps there was an affair or something else that happened. It doesn't mean the love wasn't there in the beginning, but perhaps, it no longer exists. The same is said with Christians that no longer choose to worship God or follow His commands. It's a choice. Some of them maybe were forced into it by parents that thought they were doing the best for their children. Others perhaps figured out they wanted something better (like someone that left a wife or husband for someone else). Others perhaps loved God with all their hearts and later lost that love and the desire to serve him by their own choice. It doesn't mean they weren't Christians to begin with at all.

Answer 3

There are a few things you need to ask yourself before you decide: 1. Do you love this man you met on the internet? How much do you know about him? 2. Will you be able to bear your children's broken hearts(Once you separate)?? Believe me its really hard for children to cope up with their parents divorce no matter how old they are. I am 24 and I cant still digest the fact that my parents have separated. It saddens me. 3. Will you be able to live without your husband after living with him for 20 years? 4. How would you feel if your husband did the same. Maybe be your husband is going through a stressful time just like you. Men are a little different from woman. You should give him a break and not stress him out more. What you two need is a holiday... away from your hectic lives. Trust me... it helps! maybe if you could decide on a place that the both of you would like to go to?? Be there for your husband... show him that you love him. Hope this helps :) Take care!

Answer 4

Being the child of divorce, and having been divorced myself once after a long period, and Being currently in a long marriage again, I think I may have an answer.

Love never really dies. It only gets overshadowed by other things, sometimes hate. Sometimes indeifference.

There is always a place my parents have where they say they still love each other. When I was younger, I though this trite.

After my own experiences, I se what they meant. I still have love for my ex, only the other BS got in the way for both of Us and we could not get back to just the love.

Also my current wife, we have times when we wonder about the loss of love, becuse life gets in the way, but it is still there, if you clear away the muck.

I would say, No, it never dies, not really. It only gets pushed out of the way.

Answer 5

Now this is right up my alley. I was married for just shy of 24 years. Did we love each other? I thought we did. Honestly though by the end of it I felt we were more like best friends with benefits.

Now to the part about christians. I think it's rather presumptious of someone to say that an ex-christian was never a real christian. They either out grew the religion or became disillusioned with it. Either way they moved past it. That doesn't mean they weren't ever true christians.

Answer 6

That bugs me, too, seeing that I get told that a lot.

What's especially weird is that the Bible mentions people who have left the faith, so I'm not sure where this new trend in coming from. In fact, I remember many times as a child overhearing the adults talking about how such-and-so wasn't a Christian "anymore", followed by a general clucking of tongues.

I think it's a fear-mechanism - people are afraid that if someone leaves then there might be a good reason. Therefore, they decide that if they did "leave", then they must not have ever really "got it" in the first place, or else they wouldn't have left.

Circular reasoning is comforting, I think.

Answer 7

I walked out on Jesus once. I flirted with the world. I would say that I did not have a personal relationship with Jesus the same way I have now. To be faithful is hard. To carry out the commitment and promise after the feeling is gone takes a little bit more what I have sometimes.

I am happy that Jesus did not give up on me. When people leave Jesus, it is not really Jesus' fault. It is very convenient to doubt God's Word when we want to do something that we know is not God's will.

Leaving marriage after 20 years, that story is very individual. Some people get married even though they do not love each other to start with.

Answer 8

No. You can love someone and not be able to live with them after a while. Doesn't mean you didn't love each other ever. People grow apart. I know this from experience. I still care deeply about the woman I was with for six years but circumstances broke us apart. But we absolutely loved each other. Things can change...

Same with belief.

And anyway, what is a "real Christian"? There are many different kinds of Christian you can be,

Answer 9

People change and so do feelings. I don't think they didn't love each other in the beginning they just grew apart. Some though didn't really love each other, but were forced to get married because of social pressure. Such as in the 50's and 60's if you got pregnant out of wed lock it was socially unacceptable. It was considered to be the "right thing to do." This happened to my parents. My mom got pregnant and my dad married her because of family and social pressure. The minute I turned 18, my dad filed for divorce.

Answer 10

Perhaps, after 20 years of marriage, they chose to celebrate the lasting commitment they have to each other by taking it outside the confines of a legal contract.

In the same way, many former Christians have had to make the choice to either follow the teachings of Jesus, or the dogma of the church, and have chosen to follow Jesus...no turning back.