i'm 24 and deeply in luv with my boy, i was a christian before i lost my virginity,i did'nt lose it over him er, but nowadays i feel lyk going back to church and recolecting myself, i love him much and he loves me much but he does not want to go to church with me, its so hard becoz i nid him to motivate me spiritually and again if i get born again i'l have to abstain which i forsee he cant manage, but he usually tells me to go to church but its nt easy, at times i feel lyk quiting the relationship and have hope that i'l find a new born again husband who i'l love as i love my current fiance, pliz help me!! this makes me feel bad coz i dont go out to clubs nor do i go to church, who am i and where do i belong?
2007-05-28 08:30:02 · 12 answers · asked by Pearlie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Leave him and go back to Church. Find a good Christian man who will love you and marry you.
Ask God for forgiveness for your sin of premarital sex. Then accept His forgiveness, and get on with your life.
Once a Christian, always a Christian. You cannot lose your salvation, like you can lose your virginity, and losing your virginity does not result in you losing your salvation, if indeed you ever had it to begin with. So, if you were once saved, then you have eternal security.
Who are you, and where do you belong? You are likely a Christian girl, who is a bit confused, and in need of spiritual guidance. You belong in Church.
2007-05-28 08:40:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many men and women are Christians and do not attend church regularly if at all. Many people are turned off by organized religion and have a personal relationship with God without going to church/meeting hall/ etc.
Your church attendance should not be hindered by him not going. Follow the calling of the spirit of God and you will be okay.
You may find the following of some value also,
Years of research by psychologist have shown that most long-term marriages have some very common factors. Lack of any two or more of these factors indicates there is high probability the marriage will not last. (Long term –is defined as a marriage of more than 20 years)
1. Both parties married at age 25 or older.
2. Religious compatible (example: Jews + Hindu just do not work)
3. Common goals (someone likes a simple life, not chasing material wealth or career and some that is very goal minded for gaining as much material wealth as possible, together they do not make a lasting marriage. Another example, a conflict over having children).
4. Social economical compatible (poor + rich only works in the movies)
5. Financial responsible (debt is the number one cause of divorce)
6. Open Communications (agree that it is ok not to agree, tell each other your most hidden secrets, keeping the secrets from everyone, no name calling, and etc)
7. Both parties are very much alike (opposite may attract, but they do not make for a lasting marriage)
8. Sexual compatible (variety in sexual act + partner that finds some acts repulsive, does not make a lasting marriage.
9. Both individuals are not egoist. (a egoist believes that everyone would be happy by making them happy)
2007-05-28 08:39:16 · answer #2 · answered by oldcorps1947 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The church that you are thinking of attending probably has a counseling program of some sort for issues like this. Even if it is a small church, the pastor would probably be more than happy to set up an appointment to meet you and discuss your situation and what you can do. Usually churches have a web-page to send e-mail, a phone number that you can call the church office to set up an appointment,or else you can drop a comment card (usually found in your bulletin) into the offering plate asking to talk to someone. Or you can probably just talk to the pastor after the Sunday morning sermon and see when he has time to talk with you.
I would call the church office and set up an appointment with a counselor to discuss your situation. You will get better advice from your pastor than you will get from random people on the Internet.
Either way, your relationship with Jesus is more important that your relationship with anyone else (as Jesus himself said), so if your boyfriend is interfering with your spiritual life, then I suggest that you find yourself a new boyfriend.
2007-05-28 08:40:50 · answer #3 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, realize that going back to church doesn't mean you have to abandon your boyfriend who you love, even if he's not interested in going to church with you.
Explore different Christian denominations -- while most frown on premarital sex, some are more accepting than others (and this can vary from actualy church to church, much less from one denomination to another). Being "born again" has lots of different meanings to a lot of different "flavors" of faith (it's an important idea to Baptists, but just a metaphor that happens every day to other protestants, like Lutherans, Episcopalians, or the Deciples of Christ).
My thought is this -- if you're called to go to church, go. But not just back to your old church --explore what's out there. See if any place particularly speaks to you. Then, if after listening, praying, talking, you find there's a conflict with your relationship, you'll find a way to resolve it. There may not be a conflict acter all.
Good luck.
2007-05-28 08:40:53 · answer #4 · answered by Perdendosi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess it will be for you to appropriately prioritize between your spiritual and your romantic needs. Once you figure out which is more important of the two the decision won't be as daunting. Remember that it's not very easy to change a person.
2007-05-28 13:13:06 · answer #5 · answered by Somniferous 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what I did: leave him.
There will be plenty of people in church to motivate you spiritually, and lots of guys in church to date.
Do not keep compromising your standards for him.
2007-05-28 08:39:34 · answer #6 · answered by LovablyMe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God has to be the most important thing in your life. Seek him first and eventually you'll meet a guy who also has God first in his life. The Bible says you shouldn't be unequally yoked with an unbeliever.
2007-05-28 08:34:33 · answer #7 · answered by Jeff A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being a christian is a personal decision.. if you can't do it on your own, then you must not truely want it.. and you dont have to go to church to be a good christian either..
2007-05-28 08:35:28 · answer #8 · answered by lilchikka2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im christian and i feel that you should love god more than your bf and i think that you should just pray for your bf and if nothing changes then ask god for help and if things dont get any better then i think that you should wait for god to give you that perfect someone.
2007-05-28 08:39:50 · answer #9 · answered by Groovy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats your spiritual self talking...decide where you find solace ..in the arms of your guy or the feet of jesus. simple
2007-05-28 09:50:24 · answer #10 · answered by tring tring 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋