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My mother has a quicksand personality, it seems like she's been having a bad day for my entire life. She refuses to go to counseling or listen to common sense. I guess those two go hand in hand. I seriously believe she is bi-polar.

Now that I am moving out and not a "burden" on her anymore, she's mad at me?! This hurts me so much, because I don't know what else I can do as her daughter. I feel like nothing will ever be good enough for her. She doesn't realize that she's turning into her own mother, and turning me into her! Im scared because I don't want to ever be anything like her, she was a horrible mother. How do I stop this cycle!

2007-05-28 08:05:30 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

It should be said that I'm really trying not to judge her if she does in fact have something mental going on: I just wish she would get some help, and stop taking it out on her kids!

My mother does not appreciate anything. She has no respect for the little coffee or lunches or the big things, on holidays, birthdays. I am 24, but I still don't want to be in the house all by myself on Christmas AND my birthday without so much as a phone call. The only thing that matters to her, is how SHE feels, etc. I have a hard time even carrying a conversation with her.

I try talking with her, but it always goes back to how she feels, what she's doing: she doesnt ask how Im feeling, or doing, etc. Never.

2007-05-28 16:26:00 · update #1

6 answers

My mother either has Narcissistic Personality Disorder or does a very good of acting like she does. Like all disordered people, my mother is EXTREMELY inconsistent in her behavior toward me. That said, I wasted the first 26 years of my life trying to get along with her. Once I realized that the problem lay with her and not me, I cut contact with her. I am currently trying to heal from all the abuse she heaped on my head.

Your mother is behaving in a disordered manner. That said, don't take anything she does personally. Just move out and be very firm in your limits. You can also see a therapist. A trained professional can give you much more help than I can.

2007-05-28 08:15:10 · answer #1 · answered by e_d_ellis2004 5 · 0 0

Hey, been there, I'm a mom. Establish Lunch. Moms like to be taken out to lunch, or star bucks. Now really do this once a week or every two weeks. This assures her you still want intimacy between you and her. Duck the questions she has, the really hard ones you don't like. Just say Ma I love ya, and miss ya. She will shift gears cause this love takes care of her worries. Please don't judge your mothers mental status, shes who she is, accept it. Move on but remember lunches. when its over, she'll have the love she needs and will come to really value who you are.

2007-05-28 15:18:43 · answer #2 · answered by kim 7 · 0 0

Your doing it right now. Admitting to the fact that you don't want to be like your mother. Realize though that you are, your OWN person & even if you wanted to be like her...your not. My husband didn't have a father who was involved in his life & now that he has children of his own he makes sure that he is involved in theirs everyday. Your hurting right now because you love your mom & she is struggling with her own emotions but what you can't control is not yours to deal with. These issues our hers & she will have to decide what is more important...her bad behavior or a relationship with her daughter. You may have to seperate yourself to find your own happiness & stop looking for approval from her. Good luck love & know that you will be fine.

2007-05-28 15:40:46 · answer #3 · answered by BG 3 · 0 0

Your mother is happy for you she just has a wierd way of showing it. No mother ever wants her child to move out and be on their own but she will come around eventually so be patient.

2007-05-28 15:17:27 · answer #4 · answered by sweetie1169 2 · 0 0

Never MIND HER. Get counselling for yourself, so as you say you DON'T TURN INTO HER.

2007-05-28 15:22:58 · answer #5 · answered by Klingon 6 · 1 0

probably she never loved you from the very start.. worng timing for conception may be?

2007-05-28 15:09:09 · answer #6 · answered by NAMIK KEMAL 5 · 0 2

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