My mother in law is extremely ill and will not be with us for much longer. My darling husband is beside himself. He is not coping very well at all. What can I do to help? I am always here for him. I feel useless. She's a wonderful lady and a credit to the family. She will be missed terribly. I need to know how I can help him. I am feeling it too.
2007-05-28 07:54:00 · 8 answers · asked by purplehairsarah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Firstly my heart goes out to your husband and yourself. Losing a parent is extremely hard and seeing them terminally ill adds to the stress.
It sounds like you are being a tower of strength to him by just being there and loving him.
I am a nurse by trade and know how hard it is and what a journey you are all on. Both you and especially your husband may need some bereavement counselling when she has passed away. Does he need some now? Is he depressed? Don;t be scared to seek help from the Gp if you feel like he is sinking into a deep depression.
Just be there, tell him and her how much you love them as you are doing now. You are not useless but I can truly understand why you do feel that way.
You say you are feeling it too..I'm sure you are as you are holding things together? You are probably being strong and supportive for your husband and mother-in-law. Remember you need to look after yourself too. Seek comfort from other family members and friends if you can.
Also if you are in the UK and she has a Marie Curie Nurse then they can offer quite a lot of support to your husband and yourself. they are there to help families too with their grief.
2007-05-31 08:15:49 · answer #1 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like ur a really good person and being there 4 ur husband is probably the best thing u can do! Just let him no ur there 4 him and also give him some space he'll no ur there and he'll appreciate it! Just don't feel useless as there is a lot u r doing already! I hope u and ur family get through this hard time!
2007-05-29 06:22:47 · answer #2 · answered by Angel J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u can help by just being there. even if it doesnt seem to u, u are there! he knows this cos u are his shoulder and rock. ur husband know u love him. dont be put out if he seems distant, a man (or woman) usually needs to heal on the inside by themselves, yet they know there is people around. but here, u must be the strong one, even if u think u cant, u can. and u are. by askin this question here u have our support, cry on our shoulders, yahoo dont mind, and it doesnt cost a thing. and thats the beauty of friends, they will be there for u always, all through the difficult times and some of the best. just remember the best times u had with ur mother-in-law cos it seems to me like u have a beautiful family, and one u will always have :)
2007-05-28 15:07:05 · answer #3 · answered by its me :) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you both - I have been in this position. Please dont feel useless, the fact that you are just there for him makes you NOT useless. Sadly, you really can't do more than be with him when he needs you & leave him to himself when he wants the solitude. (Dont take it personally if there are times when it seems he doesn't want you there)
I wish you both strength.
2007-05-28 15:01:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just went thru this exact situation. All you can do is be supportive and say its ok to cry and be sad. Grieving is a process and its not over in any set way. There may be anger. denial, actually grief takes many forms. We were their for each other with both parents and with prayer, and love its all we can really do. Our faith really helped us. God bless you.
2007-05-28 15:03:46 · answer #5 · answered by kim 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're doing a wonderful job.
Just knowing you are there for your husband will mean the world to him.
Stay strong x
2007-05-28 15:01:53 · answer #6 · answered by cheesypeeps 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i lost my mother in law on new years day . i just was always at my husbands side he had days and still does when he just wants to be by himself you just have to go with it . sorry for your troubles xx
2007-05-28 16:09:24 · answer #7 · answered by ladyni 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you really can do is be there for him, even if being there just involves saying nothing at all, i really feel for the both of you, its an awful situation.
2007-05-28 15:14:32 · answer #8 · answered by Lola 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋