We go at it often, and I can tell she is about to peak, but then she just freezes up, and suppresses it. I wanna rock her world, but she won't let it happen. What is she afraid of?
2007-05-28 05:25:38 · 32 answers · asked by Ponyboy99 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
HA!
You ever think that it might not be her? It could be school or work- or insecurity or one sort or another.
Jeez, us ladies like to orgasm- and if she's not able to, it could be a combination of emotional and physical stimuli (or lack thereof)...
For a female, the ability to reach orgasm is more mental than physical. If she's preoccupied with other crap, she's probably going to be less responsive.
Also, never forget about the percentage of females who actually like being "on the brink". It's a nice place... the brink...
2007-05-28 05:30:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has she ever had an orgasm before?
If not, the sensations she's feeling (and about to feel) are new to her, and this can be scary.
It sounds like she's at the point of losing control and releasing an orgasm. But because of this new feeling, she get's scared, maybe thinking of "I hope I don't wet the bed" or whatever. Her mind is stopping her from letting go, and to her, although it feels good in the moment, she may just want to stay in her comfort zone because that's what she's used to.
You need to talk to her and comfort her. She needs to be in a relaxed state of mind, and not have any inhibitions about having an orgasm.
2007-05-28 06:43:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it's just a loss of control we're afraid of. But there's also the differing values that are thrust on women: be the Cosmo type who can rock HIS world....but be a good girl at the same time.
So we're expected to be hot and spicy.....yet inside? Cool as cucumbers. Hard to reconcile those two ideas in the heat of passion.
Most women who orgasm fantasize during sex for that extra "push". Maybe you should figure out her fantasies and work 'em :)
2007-05-28 05:30:21 · answer #3 · answered by Barb R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ahhhh..... the question of questions!
She probably has a misconception of what "female ejaculation" is. Most women will hold back from having a mindblowing orgasm because they feel the urge to pee. However, it is not urine. My suggestion is for you to do some research on female ejaculation, how it is done, etc.. learn a few great techniques to do on her, and reassure her that she will not be peeing on you. Show her what you found, print it out. Let her know that you are very concerned with pleasing her and you want her to have amazing experiences with you. She should find it as a very sweet gesture, and she may at that point be willing to experiment with it and let it all go comfortably.
2007-05-28 05:31:16 · answer #4 · answered by Apryle C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure that she's actually keeping herself from orgasming? I often have issues trying to reach the peak of my orgasm, especially when it's not me in charge of whats going on. Talk to her about your concerns and see if she needs additional stimulus in addition to what you're doing. There are times when I have to use a vibrator in addition, in order to have an orgasm. If she is actually holding back on purpose, then she would be the only one who knows her issue. Either way you need to talk.
2007-05-28 05:34:32 · answer #5 · answered by mntjulep 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well when your about to orgasm,every girl is different. There are small orgasms that happen in waves and then there are girls w/ one large orgasm. And if your really doing it right there is female ejaculation, It comes running like a water fall! I'm serious. Now the only reason I can see her freezing up is maybe inexperience. See when your about to orgasm,it kinda feels like you have to pee. Maybe she thinks she is going to wet herself. You should definitely talk to her about your concerns.
2007-05-28 05:31:42 · answer #6 · answered by Constance C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Atia of the Julii's got it first: ASK her. If you're good enough friends to have sex, then you're good enough friends to talk about it. (Boy, do women wish that men realized that!)
Maybe it will turn out to be one of the many physical or lack-of-knowledge reasons that the women's Answers above me suggest.
BUT, if her answer indicates she needs counseling, therapy, etc., then help her get an appointment and support her--either in going alone or WITH YOU, as appropriate. And if it's with you, then *open up* to the counselor, therapist, or whoever.
Assuming you're a standard-issue str8 guy, you'd sooner be beaten to a pulp than do any of the above, but you need to be man enough to do it anyway!
2007-05-28 05:35:48 · answer #7 · answered by georgetslc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pony Boy :-
Here is what I think, it is a control issue. Women who have very controlling tendencies have a hard time having an orgasm, they are simply afraid to let go.
I don't think the problem is you, I think it is her, with that said, I think you need to work a little harder to help her to achieve one. Find out what her fantasies are and talk to her about them when she is nearing her peak.
Trust me it works everytime.
2007-05-28 05:39:08 · answer #8 · answered by andysdcden 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's a bit uncomfortable because you want it to happen so badly. Therefore she tries or thinks about it too much and it fails. Don't make it the main objective, and try and stay in the game until she can finish up.
2007-05-28 05:28:35 · answer #9 · answered by Questionable 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is probably not doing that consciously.
She may just need to feel trust in you and in the relationship. Give it time, it will happen eventually.
And...quit the pressure for her to have one! She is probably having a little performance anxiety because you keep watching for it and asking about it.
2007-05-28 05:28:51 · answer #10 · answered by Barbara 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋