I have this boyfriend. and i dont see him as all that much of a boyfriend .. but he is obsessed wit me. and wen ever i try to say this is not working out. he says some relly sweet stuff and it just makes me feel bad for wanting to break up wit him. i dont have the ability to be all that cruel. altho most ppl dont mind being cruel to me. how can i let him down gently and still be friends wit him.? his last girlfriend that broke up wit him. he talks **** about all the time and is very mean 2. i dont want that to happen wit us. he was my friend for 5 years b4 we got together. HELP!!
2007-05-28 05:08:59 · 23 answers · asked by C C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just let him know you would rather be friends. leading him on to thinking you like him isn't a very nice thing to do. just be honest with him, thats all you can do. and just hope that he'll want to still be friends. he may need a little time before he stops being mad and upset before he can be your friend,
2007-05-28 05:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admire you for not wanting to be cruel. There are many people in this world that do not have no problem being cruel.
However, if the relationship is not where you want it to be, then you need to have a serious talk with him. Tell him why things aren't working for you. Let him know you can't keep going on with things they way they are.
If he offers to change, give him a chance BUT make sure you re-address the issue in a month to see if he's made any progress. If he is still doing the same thing, then you need to decide if this is the type of relationship you want to be in. If it isn't, then you need to break up with him and MEAN it. Do not let him sweet talk you into staying. You need to respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself.
Good luck!
2007-05-28 12:30:57 · answer #2 · answered by ookami007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure he know's you are NOT his girlfriend. sounds like he may have a problem with obsession, and that can get dangerous, and also....you can't live your life like that. when he say's sweet stuff-- that is just trying to manipulate you, even though he may mean what he say's. If he really cared about you, he would listen to what you are saying to him. It's not cruel to be firm, but fair with what you say to him. good luck.
2007-05-28 12:16:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, he sounds dangerous.
I've been through this situation sooooooooo many times.
Just think about what would happen if it was in reverse. Would he have qualms about leaving u? In my experience, they chase u and chase u, but if they decide u aren't right for any reason, throw u away quickly enough.
Not that it's necessarily wrong, but guys just seem to be more resolute.
If he won't accept that u aren't interested, stay away from him 'til he gets it.
Obsession is scary. RUN AWAY!!!!
2007-05-28 12:15:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
try 2make him know any other girl and if he starts getting close with this girl, tell him that u cant support this and u need 2break up, and so it wont be ur fault. Or just tell him and dont mind if he will say **** about ya. In the end if he will do that, then he cant be even ur friend at all
2007-05-28 12:14:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to tell him the truth. You are not being fair to either one of you by pretending to love him when you don't.
You cannot control what someone decides to say about you once you've been honest and upfront with that person. If he talks badly about you and refuses to return to the friend level - you can only count your losses and move on... knowing that what ever he chooses to say about you does not make it so!
2007-05-28 12:13:54 · answer #6 · answered by jenneylou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him the truth about how you feel. Tell him that you like him and care for him as a friend, but you have no romantic feelings for him. He seems really insecure. Tell him that if he wants to be a good boyfriend for other girls in the future, he should learn to have more confidence, be more independent (aka less clingy), and be nicer. Encourage him to improve.
2007-05-28 12:13:32 · answer #7 · answered by Chivalrous Chubbu 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately you must decide what is best for you no matter how selfish it may appear.Its your life and you only get one shot.Why not try explaining this to him and if he really cares for you then he wont want you to spend your life miserable in which case he'll let you go.And if you get a selfish self centred response then you know that he cares more for what he wants ie being selfish on his own behalf
2007-05-28 12:18:04 · answer #8 · answered by mack 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that you can't leave him.....you WON'T leave him. You are getting something from hanging on even though it is obvious you need to end it. Figure that out and you will be able to say good-bye. The sad thing here is that the one you should be with is out there and you'll never see him with your head buried in the wrong relationship.
2007-05-28 12:17:10 · answer #9 · answered by Chegles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man this is a toughfy I think you should give him a chance hey if he's nice and sweet then whats wrong? don't leave him because maybe the next bf you get he might be horrible. I know i didn't answer your question but i hope it all workss out. GOOD LUCK!!!!! ^_^
2007-05-28 12:15:21 · answer #10 · answered by Precious S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋