my guy has just proposed but I don't think I am ready to settle down!
We have been together for 3 years and the best of friends,and I am 23, but I thought the one was supposed to be really really special.
Am I expecting too much here?
2007-05-28 03:05:13 · 51 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
you will know when you meet the right person because when you look at your life in 50 years they are still right there with you.
i am 23 and just gotten engaged to my fantastic boyfriend, he is so sweet, and kind and generous, i knew from early on in our relationship that no man would ever come between us, nothing in this world could part us, and although things are not always perfect it is as close to perfect as it can be.
we are soul mates, we know every detail about each other.
i know i go on about me but i want people to see that this is what it is about. if you dont think you are ready to settle why not have a long engagement, dont plan a wedding straight away. in fact why not ask your boyfriend to keep his proposal for a later time, when you are ready, just be careful not to offend him.
just imagine your life without him!! imagine living everyday without him by your side, then ask yourself if you want to marry him.
good luck and best wishes for the future.
2007-05-28 23:49:58 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there,
I got married when I was 19 and I was divorced by 22. He was older and mire mature, but I was not ready to settle down. I did it to gain independence from my controlling mother. I am now in my early 30's and engaged to a wonderful man. I know that he is the one.
It took allot of growing up on my part to be ready for this commitment. You can be with a person for 10 years, but if you have not reached the maturity level that it takes to make things work, then it will never work.
Personally I think that 23 is too young because you have not lived life yet. If you are having doubts now, may I suggest talking to relationship counselor or maybe a spiritual leader that you trust and know.
Good Luck on your decision. He obviously really loves you.
2007-05-28 03:39:03 · answer #2 · answered by Wywysmom 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no best age to get married. It depends upon the individual and when they are ready to settle down.
If the two of you have been together for 3 years a lot of the early romance has probably worn off much like it does in marriage. I think maybe you are expecting too much and have read too many romance novels with the really really special business. If the two of you care deeply about each other and get along well that is what love is all about.
2007-05-28 03:13:33 · answer #3 · answered by don n 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you expect to start planning for a family after you get married? If so, the ideal time to give birth (minimal complication risks, highest fertility) is around 25 years old if I remember rightly, which means you're at the ideal family-starting age from a medical point of view. You might also want to consider if you have the resources to provide for a family (i.e. house, stable job/income, time).
But, remember in history people used to get married as early as 16 or 17 years old and it never seemed to do them any harm. Mind you, they usually went for the much older, richer guys!
The bottom line is, if you feel ready, go for it. Don't jump into something if you don't see a bright future for you both - it could end in disaster. Wait until the time is right, if he's 'the one', then you can take all the time in the world - you could never get married and still live a happy life together.
My parents didn't get married until I was 11 years old, despite having been together for about 20 years previously! You could even get engaged but not plan a date for years to come.
I am currently dating a guy who is ten years my senior and has two children who are almost teenagers. We love eachother dearly and want to get married in the future and live together soon, but we haven't started planning exact dates or got engaged yet. We're just seeing what happens in the time being, there's no rush.
2007-05-28 04:14:49 · answer #4 · answered by Katy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on how mature you are for your age. At 23 you should be alright. Maybe it's just pre wedding nerves. I got them before I got married at the age of 36. He has just proposed which means you are the right one. It takes time to organise a wedding so you could be another year or two older before the wedding comes around and you will have grown use to the idea. It can be a shock at any age. Go ahead and everything will fall in to place. If you are still unsure you could be engaged for a few years to see how you feel.
2007-05-28 21:28:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
25 or older is really best. The divorce rate among people under 25 is quite high, and goes down considerably after 25. If you aren't ready to get married, maybe you shouldn't date seriously. Dating is to find a mate for marriage. Be very honest with your man. This will probably be the end of your relationship, and you will be doing him a big favor by telling the truth and calling things off.
2007-05-28 07:38:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my own experience. I was 16 when I met my exhusband and I married him at 20. I did it because thats what I thought i should do. There is no best age, if you aren't ready don't do it to make everyone happy. I've had friends that didn't get married til they were 30 because they weren't ready til then. There is no time frame on engagment, you do it when you are ready. If you are engaged for 10 years than so be it. I was engaged for 2 years my brother was engaged for 6. You do it when you feel its time.
2007-05-28 07:17:07 · answer #7 · answered by D P 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got married on my 21st had a luvly day tho it rained the whole of the day.
If you dont feel ready 2 settle down n get married then dont,, no1 can force u 2, and it cud end in divorce,, there's no age limit 4 people 2 get married,, its wen u feel ready and totally in love with that person...
If you feel ur being pressured in2 it by ur partner then maybe he's not the 1,,, if he loved u that much he wud wait til ur ready,, then u no thats true love n commitment..
Besides if ur happy the way things r,, and ur having fun why spoil it,,, put the money 2wards a luxury holiday...
2007-05-28 03:20:49 · answer #8 · answered by meeshno1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got married at 20. For me this was the best age because I know that I'm spending the rest of my life with the person I am meant for. My hubby's 35, so I think that 2 people of just about any age can be compatible. Just wait until you're completely ready (you'll know when you are).
2007-05-28 06:00:18 · answer #9 · answered by Tiff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 21 and engaged - I'm getting married in 2009, and I will be 23. I have been dating him for 6 1/2 years. He may not be the "knight in shining armor," but he's my best friend and really, really special to me. Be honest with yourself. When you are ready, you'll know. And if you're not, tell him you'd like to wait a bit longer to take that step.
2007-05-28 05:18:07 · answer #10 · answered by amleo6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋