Is This Depression, Stress Or What?

Question

I am getting cheesed off with my brother. My Mom and Dad passed away quite a few years ago and we both still live in the same house.
But a few years ago he met this woman. But they are both chain smokers when I have never smoked in my life.
His girlfriend moved up here unoficially after having some trouble where she previously lived. No consultation with me just moved her up here. We had a massive barny a few weeks ago and I mentioned about the smoking issue and all I got was 'you never said anything when your Mom and Dad smoked! As I have said the smoking issue is the main problem. I have lived in this house since 1979. And I feel that I am gradually being not forced out-but I feel I feel like I am a lodger.
At times I am arguing with my brother when I am on my own (Like as if I am living the same scenario or practicing different scenarios for if and when they happen)
Is this stress or depression?

Thanks

The house is council property

Answer 1

This is a legal question. You have a right to live in the home but so does your brother. You have no agreement between you as to who else is to be brought into the home. See a lawyer so that you can establish the rules of your joint tenancy (presumably as joint owners you are joint tenants?). Once you have clarity and know your rights you will be able to act accordingly rather than feeling powerless.

Answer 2

Yes, you can recover from stress related depression. I won't go into my life story (I'm writing it though) but I have PTSD, anxiety, and depression secondary to head injury. But it is well controlled through medication and therapy. I have since been released from treatment for two years now from the psychologist and I only see the psychiatrist every four months for a medication adjustment/labs, so I'd say that I've been successfully treated, which is why I'm a top contributor. You notice that I said I have PTSD rather than suffer from it? A lot of times I can talk myself into a bad space or talk myself out of one just the same. One of the things that I learned in therapy with a psychologist was to change the way I feel by changing the way I think. This is the benefit of going through therapy AND seeing a psychiatrist for the proper medication. It really takes both to overcome depression. As far as, will you ever be the same again? No, you won't ever be the same again. You may be better! I have more balance in my life now than I ever had before and want to help others as much as I've been helped. Who knows. You might end up helping others as well once you recover. Good luck!

Answer 3

It sounds like a little of both. You seem to be upset with your brother because he's overstepping his boundaries. You both live in the house, you're both affected by what the other one does, but he doesn't seemt to consult with you when he makes a major decision about the living situation. This is understandably stressful, and it's very sad, too, making you feel depressed. Everyone feels depressed and stressed at times, but you need to work through these issues with your brother. Citing what you did or did not do in the past is really no excuse. The dynamic between you and your parents and you and your brother is completely different. You're an adult and you're allowed to change your mind.

Write a list of the things that he does that really annoy you (like inviting people to stay without asking you if it's alright, smoking in the house, etc.) and maybe a list of suggestions of how he might be able to change. You won't be able to make him change, but it will help you if you try. Sit down with him and talk to him about the things he does that piss you off. Ask him if there's anything about you that he'd like to see changed. Then work through a compromise that is acceptable to both of you. You might even want to write down some house rules that you can both agree on.

If your brother is unwilling to cooperate or repeatedly disregards the boundaries you set, move out. He'll continue to trample on you if you don't make it very clear that you won't let that happen.

Answer 4

It's definitely not a good living arrangement for you and is indeed causing you stress and depression. The fact that you are acting out scenarios when you brother isn't even around proves that this thing is getting to you because it is always on your mind. Hang in there, and talk to someone who can give you some moral support and ways of dealing with your brother that communicate your needs effectively but at the same time don't drive a wedge between you two or make the situation worse by making him angry.

Answer 5

This situation is definitely stressful for you. I don't know how old you are, but it sounds like the time has come for you and your brother to go your separate ways. You are living together by default, not through choice, and tensions are building up now that a partner is involved over-riding your consent regarding your living space.
If I were you I would be looking at my options, get some professional/free advice and go to brother with a proposal over the house.
If either of you wants to stay, then they ought to buy the other one out. If this is not possible, it might be wise to agree to sell up and go your own ways; it may save the sibling relationship in the long-term.
If this sounds like a lot of upheaval, it is, but it is only what will have to happen eventually, so it is better to go about it in a planned and organised way, rather than let a crisis build up.

Answer 6

Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..

But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.

Helping you eliminate depression?

Answer 7

Stress not depression !!!, you need to resolve the situation before it gets worse. Talk to your brother and lay down some ground rules for EVERYONE !! they are not being reasonable smoking in your space, You need rules if you are all going to stay in the same house , good luck !!!!!
PS ...... read your addition ..... You and your brother could get rehoused by the council, however you would only get a one bed flat each. I take it you now have a house ???.
The council would be happy to rehouse you ,it would free up a family home !!!!!

Answer 8

No, it's living with a selfish brother. Tell him you want to sell the house and go your seperate ways, you are both entitled to half the money assuming there are no other brothers or sisters.

Your brother should not be moving people into a council property without the council knowing about it.

Answer 9

Could be depressiuon judging by the last thing you said however there is a simple solution ask Him to buy your share of the house or move out and ask him to pay you rent for his guest. You should see alawyer about the terms of the but he isnt breraking the law by having her there. You must ask him to pay rent for the duration of his rental even if you dont live there. It goes to the estate until the will is settlked. The same thing haoppend with my family exept it cost us 100k!!!!! THINK ON????!!

Answer 10

Im not sure but i find myself putting my points across to invisible listeners when im annoyed about somethings.I actually find myself talking out loud as if im explainin to someone thats not there.
The woman that lives above me has her tv turned up loud 24 hrs a day and shes really quite ignorant about it.I think we both are stressed out a little bit.
I hope more ppl say that they talk to themselves too lol