Why do people give their partners a second chance after they have had an affair?

Question

It’s something I could never do. Could you please explain to me why you do?

Answer 1

I once thought that I could forgive n forget if this happen to me. Until one day I found my husband looking at porno behind my back. From then I realise that it was painful enough for me to catch him with porno, what more about having an affair. He said it was because at that time I was not available so he sought to porno but to me that is an excuse. Since that incident I could forgive my husband but the hurt was so deep that I find it hard to ever forget it. If it was an affair, I too will forgive him but not forget. I had to forgive because I know I love him and cannot bear to be separated from him. Although today is modern day, women still in general more long to have longlastng love and find it harder to let it go. It's different from men as they do not think that far. That is why the chances of men being unfaithful is higher than women. It's a fact women is at the loosing end. It hard and sad to believe but this is a fact. Loving someone can be very happy and at the same time painful. Because we love, that is why we are so hurt and painful when we find him cheating and having affair. Besides love, I will also forgive him because of my 3 lovely children. Children need both father and mothers love. To have parents separated, it would be very painful for them and it will affect their lives badly. I cannot bear to see my kids in this situation. In short, I would like to say true love is kind, giving, not wanting anything in return and may mean sacrificing own happiness. If an affair happen, it will be painful for both party. So, we need to avoid this from happening. We must never take each other for granted and must never give any reasons for our partner to look for comfort elsewhere. Why would a man seek outside comfort if nothing is wrong? That is why it is easy to get married but not easy to stay married. It is very challenging to keep a happy marriage and family. I hope if you were to come to this situation, you will not let go but forgive your partner and make your relationship even better.

Answer 2

Hi Ben A very good question, i had suspicions that my husband was having an affair but i never found out (at first that is) he was away most weekends with the TA, he was always one step ahead of me, i even packed his things and told him to leave he was like a blubbering wreck and when you have been married a long time (or even a short time) it is very hard to end a relationship. So i let bygones be bygones and let him stay, i even told him of my suspicions and that i thought the affair had ended he still never told me. It was only one week later that he said to me "I dont need a nursemaid i am fine now" that was because he said he was ill and that was why he had been acting odd. And i knew straight away he had started the affair back up........It still took me a while to find out though, because of the TA he always had an alibi, but i knew it was only a matter of time before he got lazy and forgot to move things, to cut a long story short i found a receipt for a lolly from a shopping centre in North Wales, he said that weekend he was somewhere completly different. I called his bluff told him he had been seen with a woman. He left nearly 5 years ago i havent seen him since, i hear from him now and again, but i knew when he left he would never ever be allowed back in my life, oh how i am glad no strain from him, he was nothing but a lying, cheating, b*****d, But it was only because i did not know for certain that i let him back the first time.................you know what i am sure he had cheated before that as well........i hope the woman who is is with now is watching him like a hawk because he will do the same to her.

Answer 3

You could have a lot to lose if you split up with a spouse or partner. Family, finances, a house, friends, everything you`ve built together, and hoped to achieve. If you think the loss is going to be `greater` than the mistake your partner/spouse has committed then it`s worth trying to save the relationship. Besides the other partner/spouse could still love the other and want to make the relationship work again. It`s not a simple situation of `well I`m off, or you`re outta here because you cheated`.

Answer 4

They are so desperate to keep that person they are under the belief that they can forgive the unforgivable. I say that they are weak, but there are times where, with some assistance, the couple are able to get past it and move on like it never happened. I say those people are very unique, but I still question, if their relationship was so strong in the first place, why did the one go outside the relationship? I wouldn't accept it. I can forgive and forget, but not with that person in my life any longer.

Answer 5

Because you don't just turn off love, hopes and dreams with the flip of a switch. Also, everyone makes mistakes sometimes, so it's up to each couple to determine if they want to try to make it work or not and what's best for them. It's not about lack of confidence, or stupidity or anything, it's about wanting to be with the person you love and being forgiving about mistakes. It just really depends on the circumstances and what is going on in the marraige at that time.

Answer 6

OMG what a very good question. I too feel like I could not forgive or trust them ever again. My sister has put up with it twice! I cannot understand her reason for still being with him. How sad that someone lacks so much confidence they dont feel they could leave. They must love them more than anything in the world to forgive something like that.

Answer 7

For one it is called Love. Sometimes a person will give his or her partner a second chnace because they love him or her and they think they will not do it again. But once someone cheats and gets away with it. They will continue to cheat every chance they get because the know they can get away with it as long as the excuse is good and sincere. But to me if my partner cheats guess I am gone because if you love someone it shoudl be for life not until you find someone else.

Answer 8

good question cause if they really loved that person they wouldn't need to have an affair in the first place but hey to have this done to you then take them back well no way .they don't deserve a second chance

Answer 9

You love them, you want to give it one more chance. And if the guilty partner is sincere in their apologies, you are more forgiving. BUT you do not forget, and if they cheat again, you know that you can't trust them.

Answer 10

They say it is...."Because they love them". Yeah right, more like they are afraid they cant get anybody better.

Well I am the same as you, I could not forgive anybody who cheated on me...Once a cheater..always a cheater is what I say.

It always baffles me when you see ladies who have been beaten by their husbands, and some asks..why dont you leave him...."Because I Love him!! Yeah right how can you love somebody who hits you?


I am totally baffled.