Our mom is a nurse and quit her job to be a part time waitress. A bad decision I know and when my sister found out, she said, "How stupid can a person get? " My mom had money problems after that and my sister told her it's her own fault. Another time we went out to eat and I left the tip. My mom tried to pick up the tip and told us she got confused and thought she had left money laying on the table. My sister rolled her eyes and real loud said, "Give me a break! You know that money isn't yours so stop trying to steal it." When my mom asks my sister personal questions, my sister tells her to butt out, if she wants her to know something she'll tell her. She treats our mom rude and I tried talking to her about it and she basically blows me off. My sister and me are adults and she has no compassion at all for our mom. What to do????
2007-05-28 01:09:58 · 10 answers · asked by my_sister 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Northing, compassion has to be felt ... you cant force it.
About the rudeness, you can probably do a little more ... when you rolls her eyes call her out, tell her she's being an obnoxious snot and to grow the hell up or shut the hell up ... public shame is great for a horrible sibling. Best of luck to your mom.
2007-05-28 01:16:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe your sister sees your mom for who she is and doesn't feel obligated to idealize her because she is your mother.
I'm in sort of a similar situation- my mother feels she has the right to know a lot of my personal business (including medical information- she even recently found medical paperwork in my home and called my sister and god knows who else to discuss it without my permission).
For some people, it's hard to put your parents on a pedistal. Some of us see our parents as human- and some of us see our parents as irresponsible.
Perhaps your sister is concerned about what kind of life she will have when she is older if she has to support your mom's retirement or nursing home fees? Your mother choosing part time work as a waitress surely isn't going to give her a comfortable retirement. Perhaps your mother has been borrowing money from your sister and your sister does not feel obligated to share that information with you.
I think it's nice that you find it hard to feel anything but love for your mother- but parents are people too and sometimes they aren't good people.
I suggest you leave this alone completely.
2007-05-28 01:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by iampatsajak 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are both adults, you should be living your own life, out of your mother's house. Your mother is under no obligation to pay for you anymore. Your sister is being ungrateful and cruel. There is nothing you can do to change your sister's mind. As she gets older, she will learn that you only have one mother and her mother did the best she could. The best thing you can do is be kind and love your mother.
2007-05-28 01:24:26 · answer #3 · answered by lt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we don't pick our parents. Sometimes, parents embarrass us. Someday, you'll be wishing she was around to steal tips (although it is pretty lame) ! My Dad emptied the truck ashtray, out the window, where it went onto the window of the cops behind us. (they just shook their head) He would do this with me driving ! Talk to each other. Even if you have to explain it in detail, "mom, this is why we don't steal the tips from the poor waitress..." Your sister is a different person than you. and maybe she has her right to feel as she does. I would be TOTALLY embarrassed !
2007-05-28 01:20:40 · answer #4 · answered by Scorpius59 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
sound like your sis may think she can take a dump in the corner and no one will smell it , My sis act similar to my mom but there are some underlieing issiues , My mom deff has not ben perfect but that is human , sometimes people for get parents are just human , but no matter if your sis cant have respect she shud not be around in my opinion , there is no reason to be rude its better if they have an agreement of staying out of each others business and trying to get along even if they dont agree with each other , maybe you can make them see that any of us can die at anytime and family shud at least try to get along so that if one or the other dies there wont be a lifetime of regret for havin to many issiues and not sharing love
2007-05-28 01:55:15 · answer #5 · answered by stevie g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in an awkward situation. You love your mom and you love your sister, but they each have their problems which you cannot fix.
You need to take care of YOU. I hope you can realize that your mom and your sister each have something emotional that is disabling them. You cannot fix or heal them; they have to admit and deal with their own problems. It is their right to stay ill and not deal with their problems. Please just love them both and accept them as they are.
Your mom has a lack of self esteem and chose to give up a good job for a poor job. You can confront her with this truth, but you cannot make her admit that she needs counseling to find out what's bothering her, deal with it and get back to her life.
Your sister's problem is that she is angry at your mother for your mother's problems. By not accepting that it's your mother's right to stay unhealthy, your sister has become consumed with anger towards your mom for your mom's illness. You can see how her anger is not helping her or your mom.
The best way to love them both is to accept them as they are.
It's ok to gently confront your mom and suggest counseling to find out why she left a good paying job for a poor one, and get guidance as to what kind of work she would be good at that would pay her better. If she doesn't go for it, that is her right.
It's ok to gently remind your sister that her being angry at your mom only hurts her and doesn't help your mom get better.
If you can accept it's their right to not heal, you should have less distress when they clash.
2007-05-28 01:47:27 · answer #6 · answered by Nedra E 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not to any extent further incorrect in being offended, offended, or damage. Your sister stated as your toddler a "b/b", why would you imagine you're purely being overly tender? It become in the course of a controversy and frequently people allow out what they sense at the same time as heated up. So i wager it truly is what she fairly thinks of your daughter. some sister.
2016-10-18 10:53:37 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont mean to offend you but, my mum is the same. She DOES deserve all she gets. My mum behaves like the world owes her. But, she made her own bad decisions so, im not going to be the one to help her out of her hole. I dont suffer the guilt she tries to put on me. I know you love your mum & you support her but, your sister is entitled to her opinion too. All you can do is continue to be there for your mum if thats what you want to do but, you cant change your sister. Sorry.
2007-05-28 01:14:57 · answer #8 · answered by Aussie 1 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If she still lives at home,I would kick her A** out the door and change the locks,She sounds like an uppity ******.
2007-05-28 01:22:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to get out of your life my sister is a total ***** to my mom too and we have no respect for her whats so ever she is nasty and has beat my mom tell her straight if she dont respect your mom then you want nothing to do with her good luck x
2007-05-28 01:16:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋