should i cut dad out of my life?

Question

he drinks too much and gives the family a lot of stress. he acts stupid and yells a lot when he is drunk. sometimes he doesnt go to work because of hang-overs and the worst part about this is that he does not pay the bills and doesn't even buy groceries, he only drinks his money away with friends. he has never been there for us as a father should and doesn't want to listen to to us and refuse to take advice from any of us. WE HAVE BEEN PRAYING FOR HIM FOR YEARS AND STILL NO CHANGE. what should i do.

Answer 1

hello smiles, i can understand ur problem.that's really difficult to be with such a father. u know that there has been no change in him for years.then how can u think that he will change now? the only way to cut him out of ur life is to avoid him. if u really want to change ur father u should act up on him with love and affection that may bring in some change in him. but according to me, its better to leave like that as its waste of time.for change think of any other issue than ur father it will make u better. don't feel dull as the good times will be ahead. all the best for ur future.

Answer 2

First of all, I can relate you part of your story because of my own upbringing. If you are over 18, then stay away from him when he gets into those conditions. Maybe you should have all members of your family to confront him in what is called an intervention program. That's where he is confronted by all of you so you can tell him how badly he is ruining your lives. Then ask him to seek help. Sometimes God would want you to be pro-active to face the problem that way. Ask Him to give you and your family strength and courage to face on this problem. If not, move out. Also seek an interventionist in doing this. Check out the phonebook or whatever mental health facility is around your area. If you need help email me and I'll get you the info. Have peace and be blessed.

Answer 3

Keep praying, but also DO something BIG, like conspire with your mom to steal his keys so he can't go out or something. Give him the ultimatum of leaving or stop drinking. Get rid of the alcohol. Take away his money. Tell some authority at school about it and maybe they can help. And if all that doesn't work, just leave.

I hope things turn out ok for you. I'll pray too.

Answer 4

You can't save your Dad. you can take charge of yourself. Look up a service like..Al-anon. They help you to deal with alcoholics in your life. It's a start. Certainly, you can refuse to acknowledge him when he is drinking and walk away. If he becomes violent, then you should contact the local police. If aressted and brought before a judge, maybe he would have to go into rehab. Regardless, take care of your own sanity, seek out some kind of help. You might want to talk to a counselor at school, they may have good information to help. You are not alone, you are special and just need extra tools to learn how to move on. Kudos to you for reaching out, you are on your way. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

I am kinda going through the same thing. I don't know if you have any children yourself but even if you don't this is my advice. You have to decide how you want to live your life. If you want to be around an alcholic or not. I love my dad but I had to leave. I still visit him but when I know that he has starting drinking I leave. One difference is that my father works everyday and pays all the bills. I hope my advice worked some. Keep your head up!!!

Answer 6

It really is a tragedy, he is an alcoholic and you and your family have to suffer. He is a sick person. Keep praying. You have to look at it that way, and not hate him. I know it is very hard, but who said life was easy?

If he had cancer and was in the hospital would you cut him off? You should be happy eventually you will be older, and be able to move out. It is your mother that is really stuck, unless she divorces him.

Answer 7

Sounds a lot like what my father was like. Do not cut him out of your life, but make any involvement he has at his incentive. If he wants to be there, fine; if not, it's his choice. It is not your fault if he chooses to screw up his own life by making bad choices.

But I've grown, since his death 20 years ago, to accept his limitations. He was not going to be the father of the year, no matter what. Let him know what you expect, and if he is unwilling to follow through you know for sure that he is a deadbeat dad.

Answer 8

that's a tough one, but i think you should stand by him and get the family together and FORCE him into rehab or counseling or SOMETHING that can solve his problems.. or stop enabling him.. you might think that there's nothing more that you can do, but there just may be.. try getting some counseling (no, seriously!!) they can come up with constructive ways for you to help, and they can point out things to you that you don't realize right now.. but things that could ultimately really help your dad.. you will regret it if you cut him out of your life.. cuz no matter what, he is still your dad.. you need to identify the problem(s) that are causing him to behave like this and self-destruct.. the last thing he needs is to be cut off from his family.. he is screaming out for help!!

Answer 9

don't cut him out let him know you no longer which to witness his disease and want to see him in his better moments if he ever has them let him know you are willing to work with him and support him in working on getting well other than that your prayers and hope for his turn around will always be within you but living with what you have experienced in the past with him is not what you want in your future so its Bye Bye for now cause you have a life and you want some peace so you can be the best you can be

Answer 10

NOOOOOO dnt cut your dad out of your life that is the worst thing you could do i mean my dad hardly notices me and all i wish was for him in my life offer help to him and just sitt down and say dad u are in a bad way if u have a heart to heart mabey he will listen hopfully just the last thing you should do is kick him out of your life knowone deserves that!!!!