Is my wife right? Am I in the wrong? Finding other women attractive? I need some answers...HELP..?

Question

Hi. I was having a chat with my wife about some movies we watched. We got chatting about a movie we watched called "THE DEVILS REJECTS"
She asked me If I fancied one of the actresess in it (Sheri Moon Zombie). Deep down she new I found her attractive but I initially said I didnt like her. So she kept on at me saying...YOU DO! YOU DO! So I admitted that Sherri Moon Zombie was an attractive women.
Her reaction to this was appauling. She made me feel like a pig for finding another person attractive.
Here are some of the quotes she said to me....
" All you men are the F**ING same, you can never just like one women!!"
" You find a her attractive, shes the oppisite to what I look like. Why do you fancy someone who looks completely different from me?"
" Dont you dare moan at me when Im on a diet, beacsuse you havent got the right to! coz you fancy a SKINNY blond"

These a just a few quotes that she hit me with. She made me feel as though Im not allowed to find other woemen

attractive.
I am not the type of bloke to ogle women in front of my wife. I never EVER comment on how "sexy" other women look. Because I have respect for her and wouldnt want to hurt her feelings.

She has a crush on "slash" from guns and roses. When I asked her about this she said that he kinda looks like me so thats ok! (he doesnt look like me...at all) I think this is her excuse.

My view on this matter is this... We are all human. and we all have a right to voice are opionions. If we find someone ugly...we say it to ourselfs...and the same should go for beauty.

Anway... After the argument last night. I went to bed and she kicked me out of bed. She said she hated me. So I had to sleep on the sofa. (my neck hurts!)
I was so close to leaving her last night. WHY SHOULD ANY MAN IN HIS HOME BE FORCED TO SLEEP ON THE SOFA. Just because he likes the look of another women.

Answer 1

Tell her to go to hell. She's insecure. Go find yourself a better one.

Answer 2

Personally I do not feel that you are in the wrong. You are married, you are not dead or blind. I am a straight female and I have no issue with stating that certain actresses are beautiful women. I've commented on blondes. brunettes and red heads. I also comment when I see good looking men (ranging from John Zimmerman (a blonde) to Derek Jeter and Patrick Swayzee (both not blonde and none of them look alike)There is nothing wrong with acknowledging someone's beauty.
The problem here might be that your wife is feeling insecure and this was her way of trying to get some attention. I would try explaining to her that physical beauty is one thing and just because you can acknowledge that someone is attractive it does not mean that you like them, how could you when you don't know them. Then show her that you find her more attractive and that you love her no matter what. If she is dieting don't make any comments that could come across as being disappointed if you see her wolfing down a pint of ice cream or cake... she knows that it isn't on her diet and does not need to have it pointed out to her. Just tell her that you need her to tell you what she needs as far as being supportive goes.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Its not wrong to find other people attractive in a relationship if its just an actress or singer etc. However if long you have some sort of sexual fantasy with that person then yes you were in the wrong. I think more to the point your wife needs to feel appreciated and feel more attractive. Try giving her compliments and take her out places and make her feel special. Real women feel so pressurised by the media these days because of weight issues and celebrities etc, so i know how she feels hun. But you weren't in the wrong just make sure your wife knows you love her, and you wouldn't leave her even for Sheri Moon Zombie X

Answer 4

Man, I am soooo sorry. That is crazy!!! How long have you been married? It sounds like to me that she is really insecure about how she looks and wanted you to some how validate that by admitting you find Zombie attractive. From the other things you have said, you seem to respect how she feels and don't make it a point to stare at other women in front of her. That is a great thing. I wouldn't involve myself in this kind of discussion with her, tell her you love her and leave the room. Besides, you married her and looks are not what keeps someone together. Take care. And, don't watch anymore movies with Zombie in it at least when she is present.

Answer 5

wow first off i hate it when anyone is put in a position where they feel that they must choose between two people or two activities etc. so props to you for trying to rationally take care of the situation even though you fibbed.

Unfortunately she saw through it and instantly launched a verbal assault on you something quite like the Spanish armada. anyway this is what i think.

she is frustrated with men and i think some of possibly your actions or maybe men at her work or just men in general has gotten to her.

she chose you to take it out on.
It certainly is not right for her to do this. If you asked her a similar thing would you react in the same way.

Actually , think you should try a similar type of thing with her.
Ask her if she likes Orlando bloom or johnny depp. I'm sure u might know who her Hollywood fantasy is.

then use it to your tactical advantage once you have her by the ropes, then you can calmly negotiate and compromise. No need to beat a dead fish.

Answer 6

You're human. And your wife is full of it herself. I guarantee that if she was hooked up to a lie detector machine, she'd fail when asked if she was attracted to men other than you. It would be one thing if you acted on these attractions, but if you're watching a movie, the likelihood of any infidelity is non-existent. I'm sorry your wife is being so ridiculous. As a woman, I understand that my boyfriend will always find some other women attractive, but at the end of the day, he comes home to me. You're not in the wrong, this might just be the time to tell her little white-lies regarding your attraction to other women to avoid further confrontation. Deep down she knows this is normal, some just can't hear it.

Answer 7

Your wife does not understand, She needs to understand men before she can make such accusations. First off men are very physical creatures. women are very emotional creatures. If a man can't understand it, we beat it until we understand it. My wife has a saying, If you don't look once your not a man, If you look twice your not a husband. She understands we make connections one a physical level. we like what we see. Women are very emotional. everything has to be on an emotional level. If you where to ask her why she likes sex she say something like "It brings us closer together" for the man it's because we get an Awesome physical response during sex. there is not much emotional wise we have attached to it. If it where not for looks and the physical level of sex I would say 95% of all men wouldn't not even know women exist. Tell your wife to put less emotion in to it and to stop being a pig her self. if she is so hurt becuase you find another woman attractive then she needs to learn alot more about men. It's how we are wired.

Answer 8

In my opinion, and you must understand that this is just my opinion - sexuality for some people is fluid. Some people may be attracted only to women during one point of their lives, and then only to men during another. They may wish to add certain experiences to their life, while during another part of their life, they might find such acts distasteful. The wonderful thing about us is how our minds can change. We can change our tastes and desires. We're flexible. Now, from what I know and what I've read and heard and experienced, it's perfectly normal for your wife to have developed an attraction to women and to want to experiment. We're sexual creatures. If you're comfortable with it, run with it! Nothing's hotter than a supportive husband willing to explore a kink of his wife's.

Answer 9

i am a woman and no there is nothing wrong with finding other woman attractive.It is what you do with being attracted to another woman that matters. Obviously you dont stare at woman when walikg down the street with your wife or picture other woman foe e.g.during intimate moments. But harmless thoughts about an how attractive a woman is, is perfectly normal. Your wife is clearly feeling incredibly insecure, so the best you can do is make her feel beautiful everyday as best you can. If she feels that you are attracted to her no matter what she looks like she will feel less insecure about you being attracted to other woman. Hope it works out.

Answer 10

no don't take any notice of the previous message of telling her to go to hell!
Ok so no it's not that big a deal to like other women as long as the only one for you is your wife. Who doesn't find gorgeous women such as Angelina jolie, Kate Beckinsale, or someone else hot wouldn't be normal. All you have to do is to tell your wife that yes the woman in the movie is pretty but in your eyes your wife is the only one for you and that you love her.. make it clear to her cause there are some insecurities from her side, tell her she looks great every so often and that you love her just the way she is. Make her feel on top of the world by complementing her and make her feel great about herself.. today might be her day for feeling insecure about herself and who knows, tomorrow you might feel like that and you would need her to make you feel great again!
hope i helped:)

Answer 11

I'm just going to keep it short Some people be it male or female are just insecure and see it as some sort of betrayal its a case of enjoy the film but don't make a comment on a prettier girl than me because you just might go off me and find that Blondie somewhere else i wonder how she would take it if alien was on TV and you joked oh your on TV she would go mental its early days yet she loves you and is just scared that is all