I love Denis Leary and
"I can't bring up my kids in a church who's authority system is entirely based on the size of f-----g hats. that's apparently how the catholic church is run. the bigger the hat the more important the guy. priest has no hat, cardinals have those little red beanies, the pope has a collection of big hats... god must have a huge f----n sombrero up there in heaven huh? "look at me, I'm GOD! look at the size of my hat, who else would i be?" i dunno, the lead singer of los lobos? i dunno!"
2007-05-27 19:40:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
holy christ you people are boring and uptight.
which reminds me of another joke by robin williams about the Puritans.. our ancestors... people SO uptight, the British kicked them out! Seriously, how anal do you have to BE for the BRITISH to say "get the fu-- out" (accent indispensable)
seriously, lighten up. you're going to give yourself an ulcer.
2007-05-27 19:50:03 · update #1
Heheh, my favorite is by Bill Hicks (about dinosaurs):
"You know the world's 12 thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, they existed in that time, you'd think it would have been mentioned in the f-----g Bible at some point:
'And lo Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus with a splinter in his paw. And O the disciples did run a shriekin': 'What a big f-----g lizard, Lord!' But Jesus was unafraid and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus's paw and the big lizard became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch for O so many years inviting thousands of American tourists to bring their fat f-----g families and their fat dollar bills.And oh Scotland did praise the Lord. Thank you Lord, thank you Lord. Thank you Lord.'"
Edit: Oooh, and immediately following that:
"Get this, I actually asked one of these guys, OK, Dinosaurs fossils - how does that fit into you scheme of life? Let me sit down and strap in. He said, "Dinosaur fossils? God put those there to test our faith." I think God put you here to test my faith, Dude. You believe that? "Uh huh." Does that trouble anyone here? The idea that God... might be... f----n' with our heads? I have trouble sleeping with that knowledge. Some prankster God running around:
"Hu hu ho. We will see who believes in me now, ha ha."
"I am God. I am a prankster."
"I am killing Me."
2007-05-27 19:56:24 · answer #1 · answered by Tedium 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A woman pulled up to a red light behind another car. The driver of the car in front of her was talking on his cell phone, and shuffling through some papers on the seat beside him.
The light turned green, but the man didn't notice. The woman began pounding on her steering wheel and yelling at the man to move. The man still didn't move.
The woman went ballistic inside her car, ranting and raving at the man, pounding on her steering wheel and dashboard.
The light turned yellow. The woman blew the car's horn repeatedly, as she yelled and screamed curses at the man.
The man finally noticed the commotion. He looked up, saw the yellow light, and accelerated through the intersection just as the light turned red.
The woman was beside herself, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection. As she was still in mid-rant she heard a tap on her window and looked into the face of a very serious looking policeman.
The policeman told her to shut off her engine and step out of the car. The red-faced woman obeyed, speechless at what was happening.
The policeman then arrested the woman and took her to the police station where she was booked and placed in a cell.
After a couple of hours the woman was escorted back to the booking desk where the original officer was waiting with her personal effects.
The policeman handed her the bag containing her things, and said, "I'm really sorry for this mistake. But you see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn and screaming and cursing. Then I noticed the *Choose Life* license plate holder, the *Follow Me to Sunday School* bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally I assumed that you had stolen the car. Have a blessed day!"
2007-05-27 19:58:23 · answer #2 · answered by † H20andspirit 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
George Carlin,
If there is a God, it has to be a man. Only a man could screw up the world like this.
2007-05-27 19:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I like the Danish cartoon of Mohammed!
2007-05-27 20:10:35 · answer #4 · answered by Donald Nguyen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
check this 360 blog, Father Guido
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-Ltlp84Q8dKiMRKCLLGufGQkWmZg-?cq=1
2007-05-27 20:02:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like those cartoon's from the dain's point of view.
2007-05-27 19:44:25 · answer #6 · answered by allahdevil1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I find such jokes and movies such as O god to be taking the Lord's name in vain. I have no favorite joke.
2007-05-27 19:45:25 · answer #7 · answered by winkcat 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
well friend
i don't hav any comedian joke about any religion i m a MUSLIM but i also respects others religion as our prophet (p.b.u.h)says that
2007-05-27 19:46:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
anything by george carlin
2007-05-27 19:45:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋