Ive been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We decided to move to a different country together and live together and things have been working out pretty well. The only problem is that his mom has decided to come out here and work for a little while. From the beginning this woman didnt like me. But I guess now that she sees we are getting really serious she tells my boyfriend how she really feels. I dont know what to do because I love him and I've been trying to be nice with his mom but its just not working. It frustrates me and it puts a lot of stress on him. He keeps telling me that I have to prove myself to her and if I dont it shows that I dont love him.
2007-05-27 18:28:00 · 18 answers · asked by Meeshi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OMG!!! Maybe he should prove himself to you by standing up to his mom. Or perhaps he would rather LIVE with her!
2007-05-27 18:31:42 · answer #1 · answered by beth l 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he expects you to prove yourself to his mother, and you try and he thinks you don't love him...your boyfriend might need to get a clue. Not all, but many mothers view just about any woman as not good enough for their son. Next time you and your boyfriend have a discussion about this you should ask/tell him 'If you don't try to get your mom to accept that I make you happy then you don't love me.' See how he likes being on the other side of that conversation. Good luck :)
2007-05-27 18:33:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is wrong in saying that.
Arrange a lunch or something where all of you can sit together and talk. Find out what you can improve about yourself to make his mom see that you're a good woman. If that doesn't work, it's up to your boyfriend to choose between being with you and ignoring his mom, or agreeing with his mom and leaving you. I bet he'll choose you, if he loves you enough :)
2007-05-27 18:32:03 · answer #3 · answered by julka323 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your last sentence says that he is not the one to spend your life with. He is putting his mother up against you and not providing a balance or support. She following isn't a good thing either. If you haven't been sucked into a situation where you feel trapped by his control of your finances as well as of your emotions, it is time to get out and get back into a situation where you are a normal part of the population.
2007-05-27 18:34:14 · answer #4 · answered by Mike1942f 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope he didn't really mean that the way it sounds (proving yourself!). You've proven yourself by being with him, standing by him, etc., etc.
He may not be ready to cut the apron strings. Be poilite and accomodating to her. Maybe try having one on one girl time with her to develop a relationship but be aware that there may not be a woman alive that is good enough for her son in her eyes and for goodness sakes, tell him to knock off the "if you love me, you'll do this" stuff.
He is choosing a life partner for himself, not a companion for his mother. Perhaps in time she will see that you really love her son and will make HIM happy.
Good luck, hope this helps.
2007-05-27 18:45:04 · answer #5 · answered by maxmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her how u feel and that she has to just get over and deal with it b/c ur happy she isnt the one that has to live with u for the rest of her life he does. i have almost the sam problem with my boyfriends dad as u have with ur boyfriends mom he hasnt liked me from the time we started dating and still dont and its hard not to tell him how i really feel about him but i dont say anythign to him b/c i try to be nice and get along with him since he is my boyfriends dad and so i know what ur going through but tell her what i said and i hope it helps u good luck
2007-05-27 18:41:02 · answer #6 · answered by Someoneslilgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend shouldn't say that at all. Doesn't 2 years mean anything to him? Don't even try to prove yourself out to her. However, you could stay on the friendly side and try to get along. n
2007-05-27 18:37:09 · answer #7 · answered by Nikki 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, obviously you have been trying your best... I say confront her about it,and see why she really dislikes you. If it is just the fact that she thinks that no one is good enough than confront him about it, and have HIM talk to her. If that doesn't work just tell her to give you guys some space... you guys are in love, and nothing is going to change that... not even her!
2007-05-27 18:33:07 · answer #8 · answered by issy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should understand that you have been and are trying, and that it is upsetting to you that she treats you unfairly. You've given it a good effort, that is all you can do. Continue to be respectful of her,but don't stress about her actions. She may be one of those mother's who would never approve of a companion for their child no matter who it is.
2007-05-27 18:34:28 · answer #9 · answered by lauren c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shame on him and her! You have no obligation to prove yourself to anyone. If he loves you and you love him that is good enough. At some point he needs to stand up for you and tell his mother to butt out. I would carry on being yourself and if she chooses not to like you, that is her loss.
2007-05-27 18:32:21 · answer #10 · answered by Mikila 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋