Why is not inviting children to a wedding considered rude?

Question

Why do people still get so upset about their children not being invited? Weddings are so expensive, and children really don't care in the grand sceme of things, so why do the parents?

And my wedding is about the union between me and my love. NOT about how much money I can spend or showing off to everyone I know!

Answer 1

Simple! If children aren't allowed they will have to find a babysitter. Most often then not the babysitters that they rely on are friends and family who will also be attending the wedding. If they cannot find a sitter they cannot go. They want to go but can't because their children aren't able to go.

I'm not like that. I just understand why people are.

Maybe you could find a sitter that just watches the kids and tell the parents that there will be child care provided [HOWEVER] they will have to pay. Find someone with great credentials then no one will be upset! Best of Luck!

Answer 2

It isn't rude not to invite a child to a wedding, personally I would prefer it that way. Having a crying and fussy child/baby at a wedding 'ruins' things for the others in a way. 16 years ago we had a 25 anniversary party for my parents - no 'children' were allowed, the family and friends that had children all found babysitters. The same sorta thing for weddings, if the bride and groom say no kids allowed then the invitees should abide by those rules.

What is rude though is going to a wedding and not getting a thank you card within an appropriate amount of time - and when it does finally come, it is a crappy post-card like thing, full of advertisements of the photo company and not even personalized - AND there is 1 thank you for the 4 adult atendees, one of which doesn't even live at home. That is considered rude and intollerable!

Answer 3

I don't think it is rude. Some parents seem to think everyone should love their children and have to put up with them.

I can't tell you how many weddings I've been to with a kid interupting the ceremony, all over the place during the vows, etc.

I also think the reseption is no place for a child. Many people are drinking alcohol, etc. It is not the proper enviroment for a child. Also it is annoying for people without kids to have to have kids running through the dance floor, hitting into them, etc.

My sister is getting married in Oct. she banned kids from the wedding, even to the point of no flower girl or ring bearer. This way people can enjoy the wedding without screaming kid. Some of the parent were happy, chance to get away from the kids for the night and not have to follow a kid around all night.

Answer 4

well it depends,
if they get upset that their children are not invited then the parents should not go either.
but if the child is like 1 month old or so and/or the mother is breastfeeding then its safe to assume the parents aren't coming
they might not want to leave the child with a sitter because the child is too young or what if they are coming from maybe a few states away.

a parent wouldn't drag their child to another state just for the child to be with a sitter all day long by themselves.

i am an Indian and here in America, we have family and family friends and friends all over the country.

i went to a wedding last summer and children were invited because more than half of the guests were coming from out of state and also they wanted everyone to enjoy the occasion.
and us Indians don't like sitters very much unless its for a job.
my mother only got me a sitter because her and my dad both had to work around the same time.

but they would never do that for them to have fun.
and we always bring our children because we know they will behave and if its like that they can't(rarely cuz we have dancing and food)
then the parents don't go either.
and we Indians don't go to restaurants allot so its like a treat to us...lol
and most parents with babies don't go cuz they might cry...its all about how u think the kids will behave

Answer 5

I don't think it's rude at all. Personally, I think it's more rude for parents to bring along kids who don't do well in those situations. Sounds awful, but true. I know a girl whose daughter had a reputation for getting into the wedding cake before the cake was even cut. She would eat it with her hands or just bite off of it. She did this at 3 weddings that I attended. Mom thought she was "just being a kid." I didn't invite her to my wedding because I wouldn't invite anyone with those manners, not to mention how expensive my cake was. If my child wasn't at an age or hadn't developed the appropiate manners yet, I wouldn't take my child to a wedding. That simple. Kids are great, I love kids, but not every setting is perfect for every kid.

Answer 6

I don't think it is "rude" for a bride and groom to have the wedding they want. If they don't want children at the wedding, the people attending should respect that. Not respecting the bride and groom's wishes is rude. Some parents think their little monsters are so cute and they want to show them off and then they totally ignore them while they run amuck at the reception. This can happen anywhere -- restaurants, theaters, etc. If the people are upset that their children aren't invited, they can save everybody the aggravation and stay home.

Answer 7

I totally agree with your right to not invite children...especially if it's an evening wedding. Even if not, it is your decision.

However, I can also understand the parents' POVs. Children DO care in the grand scheme of things. They need to see this ceremony that is a rite of passage that they will probably partake in later in life. Weddings are beautiful! Little girls get to dream of their wedding days and little boys get to practice being little gentlemen (which the little girls will appreciate later in life). Plus, parents have the extra expense, after forking out money to get you a present, of getting a babysitter. Finally, parents are geniunely hurt that you think their kids are brats who would ruin your wedding.

I hope that helps! Congratulations and best wishes...I guess you're getting married, since you asked the question! :)

Answer 8

It is YOUR wedding and YOU decide how you want to celebrate it. END OF DISCUSSION.

That's why there are invitations. If anybody was entitled to come that has a certain relationship to you, then why would you need invitations? You could just put an ad in the paper, eh?

Do what you want. When my widowed father-in-law got re-married in his senior years, he wanted all his grandchildren there to celebrate with him. He gave all of them a role in the ceremony, and basically planned a child-friendly wedding. But they were HIS grandchildren and HE wanted them there. That is all that matters.

When I grew up my parents regularly attended relatives' weddings & I don't recall ever being invited, which was always fine with me. Both of them came from large families, and if everyone from every generation had been invited as a matter of course, all the weddings would have been huge.

Answer 9

people should have more understanding why children should not be invited to weddings. you're right, its expensive and couples usually work around a budget. and children will not understand what's going on with the ceremony.

i dont think not inviting the kids to the wedding is rude. instead, its practical. so i wouldnt feel bad if some parents would feel bad if their kids are not invited. they should have better understanding of things.

Answer 10

It depends on the age of the children and the closeness to the bride/groom.

If my brother didn't invite my onemonth -six month old to his wedding, I would be very upset. He would know I would be breastfeeding this baby and would not leave it in the care of a babysitter.

HOWEVER, if my brother didn't invite my 3 year old, I wouldn't be upset.

If a work collegue didn't invite my one month old-6month old, I wouldn't be upset, but I wouldn't go to the wedding as I will not leave a young baby in the care of a sitter.

So I guess it all depends on the situation for me. I didn't invite any children over the age of 2 up to 16yrs to my wedding. It IS expensive.