My (almost) 2 and a half year old son, has recently started hitting and pushing??

Question

He one second will be so nice, and hug kids, and then the next, he will push them in the face... I always tell him No and it's not nice, and have him say sorry. And then we leave. And I take him home and explain why we are going home. What else can I do?? This is so sudden, he loves playing with kids... I think he got it from seeing older boys wrestle and rough around... But those kids are usually siblings or friends. He doesn't really understand you can't just go and jump or hit a random kid at the park. Any suggestions??

He is usually never mad-- He does the pushing and hitting and giggles and runs around and think he is funny and playing around.

Answer 1

Several suggestions (and this is totally normal, so don't worry!!!):

#1: Play group. The more practice the better. Instead of taking him home, sit him on a park bench and give him a time out. After he has sat still for two minutes...three at the most...tell him that he can go back to play but must play gently. Repeat until you see improvement. Don't get frustrated! He's learning his place in the world.

#2: Practice doing things "gently". Pet the kitty gently. Push the car gently. Touch the flower gently. If he does it wrong, restrain his hand (gently, but firmly) and show him a gentle touch with your other hand while saying, "gently".

#3: Play with dolls! This is called play therapy. Kids can work out how they are suppose to play with others by playing with you in role-playing games with dolls. Don't force it, though. If he doesn't want to play, play by yourself, outloud, showing two dolls playing and getting along. Then show what happens if one doll isn't nice. Have the doll sit in time out, learn his lesson, and go back to playing nicely. He may join in the play at any time if he wants. If he doesn't, repeat this several times, even if he doesn't seem to be paying attention. As long as he's in the same room, he'll probably soak it in.

#4: Kids at this age aren't really ready to play in a conventional way. They are usually to the stage called "Parallel play" at this age. That means they are both doing the same thing, but not interacting in a readily observable way. Set up parallel play scenarios. Bring two sets of digging tools for the sand box or have two of the same type of dump truck for the two year olds to interact with.

Answer 2

Well, he's being a little boy. I know that answer isn't going to be popular, but that's what he's doing. All kids go through a phase like this, and he's a boy, so his is a little rougher. Whatever you do, don't spank him for it. If he's in trouble for hitting or pushing, or using any sort of physical violence, the worst thing you can do is use another sort of physical violence to tell him it's wrong. That should be common sense.

You're doing the right things as far as I can see. But since it isn't working, you may need to add to it. Make him apologize, take him home, and then actually punish him. Make him stand in the corner for a while. Make him go to his room and think about it. If you use either of those, tell him to think about why he's in trouble, then when he gets out of his room or the corner, ask him why he got in trouble for what he did.

Take away something he enjoys. Tell him no TV for a week. Or take his favorite doll or toy. To get it back, again, he needs to be able to explain why what he did was wrong. Tell him he can't go play for a week. He'll see the long term effects of his behavior.

Again, don't spank him for it. He may act scared for a little while, he may seem like he learned, and you may even feel better afterwards, but trust me, the behavior will return not too long afterwards because spanking is proven to have little long term effect on a child's behavior. Not to once again mention the common sense factor of hitting a child to show him that hitting is wrong. Doesn't add up to an adult, and it certainly won't add up to a two year old.

Be prepared to deal with his behavior more than once. You need to instill in him the idea that what he is doing is wrong. He probably won't get it the first time, and you'll feel bad punishing him the second time. But he WILL get it. Just be consistent. Whatever you do, be consistent. Talk to him and have him talk back to you. This will pass if you handle it the right way.

Answer 3

Sounds like you're doing the right things - consistancy is key. Make sure he knows the rules before you go somewhere, tell him that if he hits or pushes you'll have to leave, then don't give him any warnings. The very first time he does it, pick him up and go. The more consistant you are with this, the quicker it'll sink in that you're serious.

This is a phase that all kids go through - some hit, some bite, some throw major meltdown tantrums - whatever their outlet, they're trying to figure out the world around them, and how their behavior affects other people.

I don't know how verbal he is yet, but maybe work with him on his feelings - have him practice saying "I'm mad" or whatever - that's another reason kids act out, they don't know what to do with how they're feeling. If he hits out of anger, you could also have him do something else that doesn't hurt anyone or anything - maybe have him squeeze a stuffed toy really hard or something. I have my daughter clench her fists and scrunch her face - it gives her something else to think about and usually does the trick.

Answer 4

It's not about anger, it's about his inability to speak and convey his wants or ideas. If he knows that touching someone will get their attention, and he doesn't get their attention, he will push harder and get their attention. Either that, or when he gets bored with them and wants to go home, he just hits somone or pushes them down, and you've taught him (inadvertantly) how to ask to go home.

Try time out. *trick* sit him in a seat and use a big belt to seat belt him to it so he can't get off until his 2 and half min are up. Time out will teach your son that hitting and pushing will earn a negative response. Going home isn't nessasarily a bad thing~ all HIS stuff is there, and food, and a soft bed! Think about it.

Also, try teaching him good words like..."Play with me?" or "Have fun?" Earlier suggestion about role playing is a perfect idea. Show lots of emotion and empathy to the teddy bear who was pushed down. Show lots of happy smiles when teddy "asks" you to play. You can even role play if teddy pushes you down...and show your son that you cry and are hurt...then put teddy in TIME OUT! No fun for naughty teddy!

Answer 5

Don't worry, this is totally normal, my son did the same thing. He was the sweetest, always giving hugs, then went through a phase of pushing, and hitting. My friends son went through the same thing also. Chances are, it will pass.

Answer 6

My answer will anger some but its what works for most parents throught human history. Spank him when he does that. My sons both went through that phase. A good spanking curbs the bad behavior and allows him to continue playing with others after he is done crying. As his language skills develope the hitting will be less frequent.

Answer 7

He's going through the crazy twos. He still has to learn it's wrong to hit and push other children. Just be patient with him and explain to him why it's wrong to hit and push other children.

Answer 8

feels like he might. In my state, the same old public college structures have an assessment technique for preschool elderly little ones. there is a few solid occupational scientific care available for sensory integration affliction. i might touch the college or his scientific expert. besides the certainty that, whilst i grow to be dealing with this, i did not discover his scientific expert to be all that helpful. It grow to be his preschool instructor that gave me the main training and help.

Answer 9

Why in the world are YOU allowing him to behave this way.....
Talking does no good at his age - he needs discipline!!!!!
Step up to the plate and act like a parent!!!
Refuse taking him to play with other children until he can behave himself. A swat on the butt will NOT hurt him. He needs to know that his behavior is NOT acceptable!!!

Answer 10

Teach by example. Tell him to come here. When he comes to you. Push him down and ask him if he like that. Hard enough that it scares him but doesn't hurt. Shouldn't be too hard to scare him since he isn't expecting mommy to hit or push.