What's the best joke you heard all week that was related to your profession?

Question

whatever your profession may be -

Answer 1

I got my paycheck this week, that made me laugh pretty hard.

Answer 2

The Vacation
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads, "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

They start going up and on the first floor the sign reads, "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads, "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads, "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continue on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect. "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are about to go in when they realize that there is still one floor left.

Wondering what they would be missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

On the fifth floor they find a sign that reads, "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

Answer 3

No Homework Excuses

I lost it fighting this kid you said you weren't the best teacher in the school
I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

Our puppy toilet trained on it

Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked

I put it in a safe, but lost the combination

I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away

Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing

I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine

I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload

My little sister ate it

Answer 4

P)Dead bugs on windshield
S)Live bugs on order

P)Something loose in cockpit
S)Something tightened in cockpit

P)Left inboard main landing gear tire almost worn out of limits
S)Almost replaced left inboard main landing gear tire

P)Test flight good, autoland was rough
S)Aircraft not equipped with autoland

P)IFF transmitter inoperative
S)IFF transmitter always inoperative in OFF mode

Answer 5

Manager to his Computer programmer :

First, I want an update on the last status of your progress, then give me the status of the progress in your latest update and finally the progress of the update in your current status !!!

Answer 6

My profession: teacher

Teacher: "What do you call a person who keeps talking when no one is listening?"

Student: "A teacher!"

Answer 7

none