what i mean is he will never stand up to her when she makes unreasonable requests.She calls all the shots and even makes "rules" for our house.In the 3 yrs i have known him he has NEVER said no or disagreed with her.I have heard her scream and sware at him and he just takes it and never says boo to her.(he has no problem screaming at me or anyone else its just her)now they have joint custody so she can't keep him from seeing his child plus there is plenty of times when his child is not around and he could set her in her place but he never does.He also was the one to leave her and if he still had feeling for her she would take him back in a heart beat.So why does she have such control over him?
2007-05-27 15:58:29 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is VERY complicated. I've been in this situation. Couples with a child have to cooperate if joint custody is going to work, but sometimes only one of the people is willing to cooperate. The other gets used to this and runs all over the only parent willing to be reasonable. You're right that he's probably going to have to "grow a pair" and stand up to her at some point on some issue. In the meantime, don't push him. You're going to put him in the middle and make it all that much more difficult for him. And he'll resent you for it, which I'm sure is not the result you're wanting.
2007-05-27 16:09:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I don't think it has to do with her taking him back... I think it has to do with child custody... if your bf loves his child then he may be afraid of her doing something to try to get full custody...
Depending on your area, this isn't a unreasonable thing to be afraid of... To be truth, in the area I am in there are two different ways to look at things, the bigger city believes that the woman has the perferiential rights no matter if she's the worst parent and does drugs on a frequent basis while the father is a steady reliable parent... While the smaller city looks at who is the better parent to decide who should have costody of the child...
While this may or may not be the fear... You bf does need to stand up for himself... she shoudlnt' be making the rules for the house and shouldn't be yelling and screaming in front of the kid... Now, on the same token you shouldn't say anything dirrectly to her (unless somehting seriously wrong is happening) but, you do need to talk to him about how you feel...
2007-05-27 23:09:35 · answer #2 · answered by Rob D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not really "afraid" of her, he just knows from experience that it's not worth the effort to fight her. She can and will make his life a living hell if he does. It's not a matter of the child being there or not, she will take it out on him anyway. Realize that it's not about him wanting to get back together with her, he doesn't. Believe me, no one is happier to be away from her than him...that is why he left her to begin with. You need to understand, it's not worth the fight.
That being said, you also need to understand that he probably isn't right for you at this point in your life. He will be this way until the kid is much older. You are better off looking for someone else.
2007-05-27 23:09:15 · answer #3 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Using a child to hurt the ex is a common feature of divorce. It can really scare a male to have a child turned against him by the mother, and happens all the time.
2007-05-27 23:01:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's probably scared that she will with hold him from his child,if he stands up to her. mind you he is doing the right not arguing back cause it only escalates into a huge turmoil and it is more harder on the child having to listen to all of it.as long as he still see's his child that's the main thing
2007-05-27 23:06:47 · answer #5 · answered by smiley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its all about the kid - she can use the child to control him or he is afraid she will take the child away if he makes her mad - just your everday "baby mama drama"
2007-05-27 23:20:17 · answer #6 · answered by jillmarie2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you know about their marriage? Maybe she tried to kill him one time or threatened to. Or Maybe she knows something about him and is hanging it over his head.
2007-05-27 23:02:23 · answer #7 · answered by skitzoette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she maybe just have control over him
2007-05-27 23:08:07 · answer #8 · answered by sexymama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋