I know that there is a problem since I see my parents interact. Mom seems to be always angry at dad and it seems like she snaps at things for no reason.I don't know if they had addressed the problem or not but I know it needs to be addressed.They can't see couples counseling since they r both not fluent English speakers and the language barrier might be too big for the therapist.Is it appropriate for me to address with them together what is going on?How much should a child get involved in their parents' marriage?I'm 21 yrs old so i'm practically an adult.What should I do and how so that the worst, which I think is a possibility, can be avoided and my mom can see what a great guy she has by her side?Thanks
2007-05-27 15:51:43 · 13 answers · asked by Unicorn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you cant find a counselor that speaks their language?, maybe your mom is going through menopause?
2007-05-27 16:01:33 · answer #1 · answered by jbonejones 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Unicorn, I'm sorry your parents are fighting,its hurts when you are an adult as much as a child.I think you should try talking to them one on one starting with you mom. See what she has to say. Then talk to your dad. I read in another letter that she may be in menopause that is possible.I had a hysterectomy last summer. That caused me to go into early menopause and I do get cranky at times. But I think it could be more. I don't see a problem with you trying to see what the problem is. Just be patient and let them know you are worried. To please help you understand after all these years why they are fighting so much. Tell them you love them both and you don't want them to break up. But as far as counseling they do have them that speak other languages. I wish you all the luck in the world.
2007-06-04 06:14:33 · answer #2 · answered by blueyedreamer67 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey mate.
I think that if you know about it you should get involved if you think it is better for their sake to be together.
If you think they should see a therapist it may be a good idea. As for the language barrier problem, you could try an interpreter. Some practitions may have some on stand-by, or may even speak the same language as your parents. Try finding someone who can help you out if there aren't any available. Do you know anyone you can speak fluently in both languages?
This appears to be a problem thats high on your list of fixing. Tell them you are going to do this first. Say to them before you start teling them-- 'please don't interrupt me or say no until I tell you what I have to say'. Tell them how you feel about the situation as their daughter. Ask them to remember why they got together in the first place if you think it is a good idea.
Good luck..I'm e-mailable...
2007-06-02 20:25:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not a child's role...even a 21 yr old child...to "parent" her parents. It is inappropriate and crosses a boundary that should not be crossed. It will put you in the middle and at some point may cause you to choose sides. You don't want this either. Your parents are at least twice your age and if they want help, they will figure out how to get it. Stay out of this. There are bi-lingual counselors around anyway. Plus while you think mom has a great guy you have no clue whatsoever what goes on between them privately...nor should you. Don't try to fix something that is not your business and out of your control.
2007-05-31 19:13:52 · answer #4 · answered by margot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this situation myself but my parents never got into fights. They just never worked out their issues through talking or anything else so eventually my mom just left and never came back. My dad is awsome as I am sure yours is too and he was devistated at what happened. I was a young adult just like you and I tried getting involved to resolve the situation after it happened but it was too late mom no longer wanted to talk about my dad. But if you love both of your parents and can easily try talking with both parents to smooth things over without taking sides then best of luck to you. I never wanted my parents to seperate, and now I have been married for nine years and I always question whether that will happen to me and my husband. I guess all I can do is try to learn from their mistakes. best of luck.
2007-06-03 14:03:56 · answer #5 · answered by lash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really don't believe the child should get involved in-there parents marriage,but maybe, if done in a loving positive way,you can get them to see what there doing-to each other and there marriage?sometimes people knows there's a problem, but they don't see it cause it to close up, or they don't want to be the bad person, or the reason its falling apart?BUT MAYBE?, you can get them to see whats happening and-get them to make some changes?maybe you can be a mediator, never take sides, stay neutral, best of luck to you and your family, i hope all goes well, god bless you
2007-06-04 12:54:24 · answer #6 · answered by debbie d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know the whole story, I'm sure. They can get counseling whether or not they are fluent english speakers. Counselors speak languages other than english.
2007-06-02 13:13:48 · answer #7 · answered by christina30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! let them solve it and if they divorce then its 4 the best youll c them time 2 time i have divorced parents dont assurt your self in the fight its not good itle make things worse witchever you closest 2 mom or dad talk 2 them about it and ask them some questions
2007-06-03 16:49:47 · answer #8 · answered by bow_wow_girl_123@yahoo.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom may have health problems that she can't talk about or like the previous post said, maybe she's going through menopause. She may just be depressed. Try to talk to her privately and ask if there's something wrong and if you can do anything to help her.
2007-05-27 16:25:53 · answer #9 · answered by Grandma Jean 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your mom is going through menopause. Ask her to look into hormone replacement therapy. Your dad will love you for it.
2007-06-02 00:01:06 · answer #10 · answered by ladyliberty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not your place to be a mediator/counselor for your parents... the language barrier is an excuse,, you can find someone to deal with that,,,,, you should not be involved in their marital problems it will only put you in the middle and cause hurt feelings.. stay out of it,,,,,
2007-05-31 18:01:32 · answer #11 · answered by tinkerbell3648 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋