i need help, my 8 years old stepson were smoking and not listen to anyone even his dad. What can i do ?

Question

He just begin smoking yesterday, when me an his dad went out to working.

he stay at home with his grandparents, we not gonna leave him alone at home.

Answer 1

OK I've seen some of the previous suggestions and they all sound like temporary fixes...even the spanking is temporary. These days spanking does not work. We live in a world where children respond to visual examples. I suggest you take him on a field trip to the local hospital and take a walk down the cancer ward. First, stop at the nurses station and OK it with them. I bet they will have no problem introducing your son to the REAL world of smoking. After that you could go down to the juvenile facility and have lunch. Let him see that this is where he could end up if he doesn't follow your and you're husband's rules. Good Luck to you!!!

Answer 2

Did he LOSE anything for smoking? Privelege of some type, (I would suggest eating, but that's not actually a privelege, lmao) like video game or TV or phone? Has anyone tried to figure out why he WANTS to smoke? Friends or seeing parents smoke? That is a good idea if ya haven't found out WHY... It could be that you can help him understand the why or help him overcome the why. But if he continues, and you don't approve, then two things: If you smoke, you need to quit, same with dad, because it's REALLY HARD to convince a KID that you think it's wrong with a smoke hanging out of your mouth. If he continues, he needs to feel the repercussion in some way. He can exchange cigarettes for all of his favorite things, and explain to him that's exactly the choice HE is making. Not your choice, his. Make sure everything is clear, and try to figure out the WHY before punishment. DO NOT bribe him to quit, however -- It's a very bad precedent that you don't want to set. You can do something nice for him after he has not done it for a while, if you're sure, but not a bribe. Hope this helps. I know I sounded kinda bossy, I just had a long day, sorry. Kids are tough critters to deal with and you have my sympathy, especially as a step-parent... Take care, and hang in there.

Answer 3

1) Sit his little bottom down and make him smoke in front of both parents and grand parents if possible. This should stop this problem.
I did this with my children. I told them if they wanted to smoke it was fine with me as long as they smoked in front of me. I also figured that way they wouldn't burn down the house. But to my amazement ... They Do Not Smoke Today

2) Take away any privilege he likes one by one until he does as he is asked. Once he has none of his favorite things to do ... then he just might figure it's time to listen.

3) If he gets an allowance ... start making him pay for everything he uses. You can charge only a few pennies at a time but it does add up.

Answer 4

Do you or your husband smoke??? I would be willing to bet someone in the house smokes because I don't know very many 8 year olds who can go in the gas station and buy them. I am sorry but kids learn what they see, when they see you or your husband smoking they think it is ok! Parents who live by the adage "Do as I say and not as I do" usually have very misguided children who end up dead or in jail. This isn't a hard question to answer: If there aren't cigarettes in the house then he can't smoke!! BINGO!!

Answer 5

You mentioned that they were smoking when you and the father working. Were they left unsupervised? Who's care did you leave them in? If they were left with an adult, don't EVER leave them with that person again -EVER! If they were left without adult supervision-than that's the problem... It's unfortunate, but the reality is that today's society requires two incomes. Which means children are left to raise themselves, and parents are forced to work for hours and hours. They call this generation of children, latch-key kids. They are left at home alone while parents work to make ends meet. That's why it is soooo important to carefully plan to have children. But- what to do it you're already in that situation? Your sons need you. Your time and attention. You have to prepare them for real life. It's hard, but you need to really sit down with them and tell them the truth about life and smoking and the consequences of smoking-cancer. Do some computer reseach with them on smoking and the outcome. It's not always appropriate to lash out at children. Sit down with them and reason with them-straight up. Not just once, but often. At every opportunity. Give them life lessons. Tell them your story. Find a way to reach their heart. They also need for their father to step up. I can't imagine my eight year old ruling my husband or me...

Answer 6

First you have to find out his source of money or tobacco. Cigarettes are not cheap. Eight year olds can not normally afford or buy them. Then you must stop that person's destruction of the child. Also, thoroughly search his room and your house for tobacco and get rid of it. Your Stepson will probably get very angry, because the tobacco probably believes the tobacco makes him more of a man. However, you should be able to talk with him as soon as withdrawal is complete.

Answer 7

First of all is there anyone around the house or someone that comes to visit often smokes? If so they need to stay away a while until things settle down! Next you need to Put something to dat A**. Then Take away his price pocessions. Then he needs a lil Punishment to take place. dont let em outside, keep him in his room, no phone,computer etc(takin away electronics usually do the trick unless you dealing with a tough cookie) Dont let em eat his everyday snacks (chips,cookies,soda {make him drink water} etc) . Next take him to the police department have them do the whole nine yards (pick him up from home,put hancuffs on him,change his clothing,lock him up and feed him the same for about 2 to 3 days) next talk to him and see what triggard him to smoke (friends,stress,class work etc) and if none of this works send him to rehab for kids or send him to a discipline Facility!!

Answer 8

kids usually at that age imitate what he sees around him, if you and your husband do not smoke, you should start looking who else is doing it in front of him, and not only is a wrong example but is wrong for his health. You can explain him how smoking kills, he is old enough to understand. And tell your husband that he needs to take control of his son, sadly is not for you to discipline the kid, that's a parent job, you can just do the talking to him, but he needs to know that there is always a consequence for his actions, good or bad. But please, do not do like some mother I know did, when she was told by her sister that her son was smoking....she punished him (without really evidence that he indeed smoke) making him smoke almost a pack of cigarettes until he was sick and started vomiting, when she told me I didn't say anything because it wasn't my place, but I wanted to scream at her and tell her how Idiotic that was...she is a smoker living with a smoker boyfriend...how does she expect her kids don't smoke if she does it!!! For God Sakes!! just set some good example...and hopefully your kid will follow that.

Answer 9

I was there too with my stepsons ( both, now 15 & 17, but 1st started around 10 or 11).

I sympathize with you and your husband. If we had the money I think counseling may have helped. In the end it took court mandated boot camp for the 17 yr old (smoking pot/skipping school), to straighetn him out, but I still caught heim smoking ( ciggarretes) a few weeks ago.

If you can't get counseling for the boy maybe you or your husband can, it helps to talk to someone.

Good luck and stay strong with you husband.

Answer 10

Well,I'm guessing someone else around him smokes. How can one expect a child to NOT smoke if they do themselves? I don't think an eight year old went out and bought his own smokes. If someone's been smoking around him,then that person needs to check what THEY are teaching him. Children only mock what they are shown. I don't smoke,neither do the majority of my friends and family. My six year old will tell them how nasty it is,and won't let anyone smoke around her,because that is what I TAUGHT her.