Are you capable of loving those who hate you? Being kind to those who treat you badly?

Question

Its a tough standard that we Christians live by. How can we make ourselves able to do it?

Answer 1

A long time ago I thought that love was something that you reserved for some special set of people that you had judged worthy of it.

After a while I got to thinking about what Jesus had said about turning the other cheek and loving our neighbor I put the two together and realized that he had made no exceptions in these statements. It became obvious to me that he intended that we exclude no one from the love that we are supposed to be giving. I started thinking about my idea of love and suddenly realized that I had not been loving anyone at all. I had simply been judging everyone and every thing.

Judging someone worthy of love is not love, it is only judgment. I actually started to cry when I realized this. I saw just how much of my life I had wasted being judgmental, thinking of myself as a Christian, when I was actually doing just the opposite of what Jesus had asked us to do.

I thought about the verse judge not lest ye be judged, and I understood it for the first time.

I realized that I have a lot of catching up to do. So many opportunities were wasted. I now try to apply the love that I have for the world in a universal way like Jesus asks us to do.

If I start to feel afraid and think that I see someone that I should not love because of something I have thought or heard I try to catch my mistake as soon as possible. I tell myself that I have forgot the truth and have fallen for the same old trick that had cost me so many opportunities to be loving in the past. The horror of this realization is often all that is necessary to bring me back to my senses and make me drop the judgmental nonsense I was thinking.

I still have a lot to learn about love, but at least I’m making progress.

Love and blessings

Your brother
don

Answer 2

hi, it is a tough standard to live by. i find that Jesus can let u do anything pray if u work with this person if u have to see him/her at church reach out to people who hate u go out of ur way even if they hate u even if they have treated u badly. do as the Lord commands and u can't feel any better about ur self because this might just be an issue with in that or them people. stay confident and encouraged u can do anything God sets before u.

Answer 3

Absolutely! Everyone has a dark side, even seemingly very nice people. I tend to be skeptical of the motives of people who are overly nice. It's been my experience that they more easily manipulate people. It's harder to turn down their requests, suspect them of wrongdoing or get support if you find them at fault. Generally, they get away with improprieties that other people would get nailed for. Sounds like what happened here is that she found someone she could treat badly with little to no fear of confrontation or of harming her own reputation as a 'nice' person. Perhaps you can feel better about the bad encounters with her if you remember that her bad behaviour is a reflection of HER--not you. That is supported by the fact that other people seem to find you very likable.

Answer 4

Certainly. I'll tell you, I'm not a Christian myself, and no one tells me that I have to be nice to everyone, but I can't help it. It is natural for me to be kind to everyone, just because it brings me pleasure to know that someone can appreciate my kindness. Even if someone does hate me, or insult me in some way, I know that two wrongs don't make a right, so I smile and tell them I don't care if they don't like me. I wasn't always like this, I was just like everyone else. Nothing special. I'm not sure what happened to change me, but now I'm an all out optimist. If I can learn to be optimistic, so can others. You just have to try a bit harder than usual to start with. After a while, it becomes easy to smile and tell the "Evils" to have a nice day. : )

Answer 5

We can't -- make ourselves able to do it, that is. Only God can do it in us.

I know I certainly can't do it in my own strength. This forum has proved that to me, for sure. Sometimes I just have to get offline before I say something I'll regret, or something that would be wrong to say to someone to his/her face (it's a lot easier to be angry with people thru a faceless Internet...).

Biting one's tongue and praying -- that's all I can think of. I'm a ways away from loving people who hate me, and don't even know me -- but I know that's the goal.

Answer 6

Yes Iam capable of loving those who hate me and Iam also kind to those who treat me badly. Why? One because God says to love thy neighbor. 2 if I hate someone what does that accomplish? Nothing,but putting hate in my heart. There is no room or place in my life for hate. I forgive those who have hate and treat me badly, and I treat all people with respect, no matter our differences or how they may feel about me. God Bless

Answer 7

Yes I can, and I have done it. I can tell that I have matured in the Lord because its a lot easier now than it was a few years ago.

You just have to forgive and really forget. Remember what Jesus did for us by forgiving us. He let us off the hook. We should continue to do the same.

Answer 8

I can be difficult...We must have God's grace,in the very worst cases...Check out the book,that an old aquaintence of mine wrote,"Tortured for Christ" by Richard Wurmbrand. He found the grace of God to be sufficient,in loving those who tortured him in horribile ways, for a period of 14 years.

Answer 9

Don H what a great answer.

also I may not like what people do, but I do not hate anyone
I certainly use to..

Answer 10

Only through prayer. I think that we as Christians think that we are better, when only God is better, and we can do nothing on our own.