What do you do when a kid is mean to yours and their parents are nowhere to be found?

Question

I was at the park today when my husband and I let our 4 & 5 yr olds go play on the jungle gym. Well as soon as my son walks over to play a little boy picked up a handful of mulch/shredded tire mix and threw it in my son's face! We were furious. My little boy looked at us and my husband told him to hit the little boy. I didn't agree but what would you have done? His parents were nowhere to be found.

Answer 1

I wouldn't have done anything, just told my son to stay away from the other child. If I had a cell phone and the parents truely were no where to be found I would call the police because obviously that child was being neglected.

Answer 2

Your husband is horribly immature, but whatever. He's a guy. In that situation (because it's happened to me before) I would have actually pulled the little boy over to the side and explained that throwing at people was never appropriate and that he could have hurt your child. It takes a village to raise a child and you and I and everyone else is part of that village so don't stand there looking appalled, understand that some kids aren't as gifted as your children, with parents that care. I'm absolutely certain this boy's parents were near by, in a car "watching", or that the little boy may have lived close enough to the park to walk. Whatever the case, your husband may have anger issues that need to be addressed and violence has never ever permanently solved anything in the real world so you may need to sit your child down and let him know that his daddy isn't always right.

Answer 3

I don't know. Ever since I started teaching, I always cringe when I see kids misbehaving in public. If I had been in your shoes, I think I would have yelled at junior and waited with him until his neglectful parent arrived.

I think it's a bad idea to advise your own 4 year old to hit the little boy. That kind of behavior is only going to spell BIG trouble for your little one when he gets to school. Yes, your child was wronged in this situation, but kids have a hard time distinguishing a right time to defend oneself from a wrong time. I can just see your child telling his teachers that "dad told me to hit so and so.." as a defense for hitting random classmates. It happens. A lot. Especially at 4 years old. They just don't have the reasoning to understand WHY they can hit this kid, but not that other kid.

Answer 4

Hitting the boy back only put your son in his attackers shoes! I would have called the police to handle this if the parents were no place to be found!

If he was violent with your son, he will be violent again! Perhaps, next time someone may get hurt badly! You did not mention the boys age but, he sounds like he was young and should have had parental guidance with him. Another thing the police should have known!!

Just my opinion.

Answer 5

With that there's nothing you can really do, yourself. You can have your child go over to the other and tell him that it hurt his feelings and it was a very mean thing to do to him etc... if that's something you want to do. Sometimes it's not worth it becuase the child who is apt to doing something like that isn't likely to listen or care. I would think that you would just talk to your child tell him what was wrong about it and have him play away from the other child. You want the kid to be able to stand up for himself but teaching him that lesson at 4 or 5 is hard (communication etc). You don't want him to hit the other kid but eventually you want to teach him how to deal w/ someone who's trying or has hit them.

Answer 6

If parents aren't around, you will have to step in.
1] do not hit or advise anyone to hit the culprit. You could probably be sued.
2] talk to him like you talk to your children - " That hurts people. We never throw anything in people's face, because it can hurt your eyes.Everybody has to play nicely, and behave.
Why don't you guys take a turn on the slide?"
You have explained behavior is wrong, why it's wrong, the rules, and diverted their interest.
3] if this doesn't work, take your children to a different area of the park. If your kids ask why he misbehaves, say some kids don't have parents smart enough to teach them rules.

Answer 7

I have kids 6, 4 and 3 and if another little kid threw something in one of their faces I would step in and do the job the other parent should be doing. It is our job as parents to keep our children safe and if that means putting someone elses kids in their place then so be it.

Answer 8

warned the boy to if he ever do that again....you gonna called the police..

ii think that works...coz i do that allthe time when i babysit my cuzzins when their parents are not at home!!