Friends who over stay their welcome...?

Question

My friend was in a bind.She was living with some roommates who were each giving their portion of the rent to one of the roommates to pay and he was not paying the rent. Needless to say they got evicted. At the end of April she asked if she could stay with me and my bf until May 1st . She moved in on the April 25 and it is now May 27 she is STILL HERE! She has not offered me any money or offered to help out around the house. She only cleans up after herself, and makes no effort to do any extra little things to help me out around here.She used all of our laundry detergent and didn't offer to buy more.My bf and I have cooked dinner and invited her to eat with us and she has never offered the same to us.I am not a stingy person, I guess I was just raised differently.I am all for helping a friend in need, but shouldn't she show some appreciation and she offer to help buy things like toilet paper etc?My bf and I don't pay rent only utilities.Should I be charging charge her rent, how much?

Answer 1

Get her out. She will eventually affect yall's relationship. Now that you let her in, she has legal residence there. She might not know this. It does not matter if she pays not rent or anything. I would tell her you two need your space and ask her if she has been able to find a new place. She will continue to stay if she thinks yall are ok with it. If she knows you can't put her out, you will have to go through the eviction process. Some people just don't have common courtesy. They were raised differently. You have been a good friend. No one lives for free. If you do, there is a reason for it. That does not concern her. She should pay rent and bills if yall want her to stay. Otherwise, she needs to go.

Answer 2

Wonder if she had something to do with all of them getting evicted? You made a mistake by not clearly setting down some rules and expectations before she moved in. I think you may end up as enemies before this is all over. If you want her to stay with you, sit her down and tell her what you expect her to do. Also, set a deadline for her to move out and make sure she remembers. The longer she lives with you, the greater the problems will be. Maybe you've already told her that you don't pay rent. If so, she may resent your asking her to pay. Familiarity breeds contempt. She should at least contribute to utilities and buy her own toilet paper and grocery. After all, didn't she have to do that when she lived with roommates?

Answer 3

Don't charge her rent. It is past time to ask her to relocate. If she pays rent she will never leave and always be a mooch - it won't take long for you or the bf to resent her. Remind her her 'days' have become weeks and she has until a certain day to leave. If you wait too long you may have to go through the courts (costing you filing and court fees) to have her evicted.

Answer 4

You are in a bit of a pickle. You did discuss sharing of expenses or much else by the sound of your note. At least she picks up after herself.

I suggest you calm down a little bit. Nothing was said at the start of this helping out thing. Sit with her during a cup of tea and just talk. No dramatics.

You have a lot of stuff you are holding in. Expectations and assumptions are not made of good communication.

Answer 5

If you are ok with her as a room mate: ask her what is she planning on doing about her stay, the date accorded is up and you want to know if she still needs more time; now if she says she likes more time, then is your chance to set some conditions, like helping pay utilities and the upkeep of the place. Tell her she is more than welcome to stay as long as she accepts the conditions.

If you are not ok with her staying, or don't want another room mate: ask the same question, what is she planning on doing about her stay, regardless of her answer, tell her that you, your bf, and her need to agree on a final date for her to find a new place to stay.

She will probably comply with both options, and still be friends with you, but if not then, you really don't need enemies with this type of friend.

Answer 6

Obviously you and your b/f have been too kind and it seems your friend is enjoying her free ride. You just need to be blunt with her right now. Tell her the things you wrote but you don't have to mention her having to pay rent now so she won't think she will be allowed to stay. Give her a dead line of when she needs to be out. Be kind but firm and hopefully this will give your friend a wake up call. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Sorry, your friend is not a friend, sounds like she is taking full advantage of you and your boyfriends generosity and kindness. Sometimes, you can be a better friend by letting her rough it on her own. You know the old saying "Fish stinks after 3 days." She needs to understand, she has over stepped her bounds. Give her an ultimatum and a time frame to make other arraignments, by then she might get the message. Good Luck

Answer 8

Tell her you have to start charging her a rent of $700 or she will have to move out because you can't sustain her stay any longer on your own money. In other words tell her she is becoming a financial burden to you. Make sure she moves out within a week or chuck all her belongings out of your house and lock her out.

Answer 9

Tell her May first has come and gone and June first will soon be here. You've enjoyed her company, but you need to get things back to normal and then give her a deadline to make other living arrangements.

Answer 10

No, just plan a weekend trip or a few days away. Simply say, "we have really enjoyed your staying, but we are going away, and we are having the place fumigated. Could you be completely moved out by......" I would actually have the place fumigated because I am a wimp and avoid all confrontation.