Am I waiting with false hope for my Navy man?

Question

After being in a 5 month relationship my Navy man was shipped out. He is a special ops officer so I realize his situation is different. However he has been gone a year now......and I have had no word. No calls. No letters. No email. He said prior to leaving that he wouldn't be able to contact me but I was still hopeful. Some on my friends think I have been played for a fool. Others admire me for waiting for the love of my life. We are both in our 40's and were planning a life together. I do not have any mailing information for him or any way to contact his family, etc. Does ANYONE out there have any information or experience with special ops? My heart is telling me to wait but my head wants answers.

Answer 1

I'm in the military. There are computers, free mail anytime you want to use them when you're on base; its the mindset of him not thinking of you so he can focus on his missions, and his life to make it home. Iv'e been there done that. You just have to understand ok! and accept it. It's not the best thing in the world, but it helps us focus by living day to day, and it makes days go faster, but hang in there and God will be with you. God bless

Answer 2

That's a tough one. I was in a similar situation - I was arrested right after enlisting in the Navy. I won't say what I did, but it definitely worse than stealing pastries. My advice is to talk to a lawyer. I know you can't afford a lawyer, but in my case he did the work and then sent me a bill, and I paid it like six months later. In my case, my lawyer had lunch with the DA. I don't know what he said, but they dropped the charges "in the interest of justice," I went into the Navy without a problem. I certainly won't say that they dropped the charges because I was going into the military, but.... So, I say look up a lawyer on Yahoo Local, give them a call, explain your situation, and see if they can take the case and bill you when you get out of boot camp. There is a chance that a lawyer can get them to drop the charges once they understand the situation. Otherwise, joining the Navy is a good decision. It was one of the smartest things I ever did. While you are in, try to strike into a rate that will help you when you get out, like Electrician's Mate. Also, remember that it may suck for the first year or so, but it is actually a lot of fun.

Answer 3

He's been gone a year...no mailing address, no email....he said he can't contact you? You're both in your 40's and you were 'planning a life together' yet you fell for that male bovine excrement.
If what you are saying is true, are you THAT gullible?
An OFFICER told you all that? What team is he on?
You say he's a SPECIAL OPS OFFICER. Some how, I feel you don't know a lot about the Navy and are making this up. SPECIAL OPS....actually is the SEALS, and they don't refer to themselves as SPEC OPS. To try to get sympathy by playing your little game on here, you blew it by using that SPECIAL OPS phrase.
Looks like you suckered a lot of people in with your sob STORY. Shame on you, and shame on them for falling for it!
(USN, retired)

Answer 4

I would kinda lay low. I'm very surprised that he has not contacted you yet. i'm sure there are some special days where he can make a phone call or write or email for that matter to someone.He can't be 24/7 blocked from the world. If he stilled cared or thought there would be a chance - he would of somehow contacted you. Maybe i'm wrong but you can't put your life on hold and wait for him.

Answer 5

I wouldn't be surprised if he is in the mountains of Afghanistan. Thats the thing about the SEALs, they go where traditional forces can't. The fact that he told you prior to deployment that he wouldn't be able to contact you means he knew he wasn't going to be staying at the Hyatt while he was gone. I hate to sound pessimistic, but you also might want to check the casualty list online. On the flip side, there are lots of guys who are in the military who are dirtbag liars, it is possible he could be one of these as well.

Answer 6

i was with the SAS in Australia and spent a lot of time away,my situation is different,i was married,i think being over 1 year with no contact,sound a little suspicious,i think you will have to follow what your heart is telling you.you can always get mail out,even in the middle of the bush,when we had resupplies,they would take our mail.you cant wait forever,do you know his parents or where they live,to ask them.very difficult decision,after all of the above i dont know what you can do.

Answer 7

Do to the fact your not family the military will be of little help. He prob would not be out of communication with family, Friends for that long. Most missions don't last more than a few days to maybe a couple of months.

Answer 8

I was in the same situation at one time my man had went out to sea for about a year. Sometimes they can use outside lines depend on the ship! Maybe doing his traveling he lost your contact info and don't know how to get in touch. Let's think positive on this. You don't hear anything from him soon maybe you can called to the base where he's station to find out had they came back in from out to sea. Let them know you are worried and maybe they will give you your! If he's back then you have your answer!
.

Answer 9

oh honey you are in a difficult sittuation have you checked out his story ? he could be married and have a wife somewhere else . that is why you are'nt getting contact . I think you have been played for a fool and just dont realize it . I am sorry to have to tell you but i agree with your friends . Have you ever met any of his family ? that just sounds so suspicious. good luck .

Answer 10

Try the military locater at one of the bases.
or maybe try to find out something through the chaplains office.
good luck
it does not sound good though
I would want to know if I were you.
I think they would at least tell you if he died or was captured.